Stumbling back into the living room. Collapsing on the couch. Tightly shut living room windows, thick curtains blocking out the sun. Pale yellow light from a single bulb on the wall. The air stiflingly hot. But then, why does it still feel so cold?
Hair soaked with cold sweat, plastered uncomfortably to the forehead. Forcefully pushing it back with a damp palm. Sniffing.
The room smells of rot.
Striding quickly to the window, throwing back the curtains with a whoosh, and then, as if burned by the sunlight, immediately drawing them closed. Over to the desk now, tearing open the drawer, pulling everything out. At last, a bottle of air freshener. Psh. Psh. Psh. Spraying until there's not a drop of liquid left.
The dense lemon scent burns, but now everything is much more comfortable.
Falling back onto the sofa. Grabbing a book from the floor, flipping through the pages. On one: a large fold-out drawing of the human anatomy.
Get the fuck away!
The book is thrown hard against the wall, hits with a thunk, and falls to the floor with a rustle of paper. Innocently, it lies open.
Body going limp, sliding to the floor. Instantly chilled by the cold tile.
Hands propped at sides, trying to rise, feeling something cold, damp and oily beneath one palm.
Lifting it from beside the sofa. One glance. A small piece of someone's ruined skin.
Throat suddenly clenching. And then mouth covered, scrambling to the bathroom, no time to get the toilet lid up before the horrid sound of retching echoes off the walls.
Although bent like a bowstring, although stomach twitching violently, only a few mouthfuls of yellowish liquid fall into the bowl. Despite tear-blurred vision can still feel drops of mucus trickling down the lips.
Again that face in the mirror. Tiredly wiping long trails of saliva hanging from the mouth. Staring at the face.
It was someone else, the face was just as pale but it was someone else.
Laugh! Open your mouth and laugh.
The stranger in the mirror cackled right back.
Looking back into the living room, at the photograph on the computer screen.
You'll never defeat me.
CHAPTER 15
Fang Mu took a few quick steps over the grass and then hurried down the little path back to his dormitory. When he reached the building he saw Liu Jianjun, who was wearing a suit and tie and talking to Deng Linyue just outside. Seeing Fang Mu, Liu Jianjun waved enthusiastically, and Deng Linyue gave a very polite smile. Fang Mu waved back at them distractedly and then rushed into the building.
Five minutes earlier, Du Yu had called Fang Mu from their dorm room, saying that one of Fang Mu's college classmates was there to see him.
Since graduating from the Teacher's College, Fang Mu had essentially lost touch with all of his old friends, so he found it extremely surprising that one would come for a visit.
When he opened the door, someone sat up on his bed, and then in a thick Dalian accent said, "Sixth Brother, you're back."
For several seconds Fang Mu was stunned. Then without saying a word, he walked over and gave the visitor a big hug.
"Eldest Brother," said Fang Mu with a smile. (Translator’s note: In Chinese dorm rooms, it is customary to refer to one's roommates based on their age-as in Eldest Brother for the oldest guy, and then Second Brother, Third Brother, Fourth Brother, etc. Because China's dorms are often quite packed, it is not unusual to have up to six "brothers" in one room.)
Eldest Brother was rather taken aback by this sudden show of affection. Clapping Fang Mu on the back, he said, "My man, you look exactly the same."
As they released each other, Fang Mu had tears in his eyes. Embarrassed, he quickly wiped them dry. "Eldest Brother, what are you doing here?"
"I just happened to be in the city on business, so I figured I'd stop by and see you. Man, I never expected JiangbinCityUniversity's security to be this tough. They made me register my ID number before they'd even let me up here."
"Some serious stuff has happened here over the last little while, so they're being pretty strict with outsiders."
"Oh, what kind of stuff?"
"Two students were murdered," interjected Du Yu.
"Jeez, that kind of thing seems to be happening everywhere," said Eldest Brother with a frown. Then when he noticed how Fang Mu's expression had changed, he quickly switched topics.
"You guys' dorm is pretty nice. Is this standard for graduate students?"
"Yep," said Fang Mu. "But, Eldest Brother, what have you been doing?"
"Just muddling along. I'm sure you've heard how hard it is for college graduates to get jobs these days. I've been working in the legal department of a state-run company in Dalian. The company's been having some trouble lately, so we've had to put forth some suits on their behalf, and collect from some debtors. You know, 'This isn't enough money', or 'This will do for now'-that kind of stuff. In fact, that's why I'm here today; to go see a company about some money they owe us."
Fang Mu laughed and said, "Have you been in touch with any of the other guys?"
"Second Brother went into the army. The Eldest Brother from Room Three-Fifty-One joined at the same time, and he told me recently that Second Brother is now a company-level cadre. After graduation, Fifth Brother went to Guangzhou to become a lawyer, and I hear he's doing pretty well. But truth be told, I haven't been great at keeping in touch." Eldest Brother's voice fell. "After what happened with Third Brother-when Fourth Brother died and you barely survived-you remember what it was like. We had been six close roommates, and then only four were left. Afterwards, none of us wanted to talk about it, we were all just looking forward to the day we could forget it even happened, so it was only natural that we would gradually fall out of touch."
Noticing that Du Yu had been listening in, Fang Mu took Eldest Brother's arm and said, "Come on, Eldest Brother. You've traveled all this way; let me treat you to something to eat."
At a small restaurant just outside the university gates, Fang Mu and Eldest Brother drank until their faces were red. After all, they had once been as close as brothers, so having not seen each other for two years, it was only natural that they had a lot to talk about. At first they kept interrupting one another, like a pair of old men competing to see who had the best memory, though as if by tacit agreement they both carefully avoided bringing up that tragic event. Instead, they did their best to recall all the hilarious stories and brilliant remarks they could remember from their college days, and when they couldn't think of anything else to say, they just laughed idiotically and took another drink.
After they had more or less drunk their fill, Eldest Brother suddenly clapped himself on the forehead and said, "That's right, I almost forgot. Did that journalist ever come talk to you?"
"Journalist?" said Fang Mu, a little confused. "What journalist?"
"Wasn't there a journalist that wanted to interview you?" said Eldest Brother, looking even more confused himself.
"Interview me?" said Fang Mu. "Interview me about what?"
Eldest Brother sighed. "What else? That thing with Third Brother."
Fang Mu sobered up fast. "What exactly are you talking about?"
"No need to get so excited. About three months ago I got a call from someone who said he was a reporter for the Changhong City Evening News. He asked me if I was your classmate, and I said I was. Then I asked him how he had gotten my number. It was in the alumni book, he said. Then he told me he was investigating what happened with Third Brother, because he wanted to write an article about the mental health needs of university students."