"Do you love him?"
She laughed softly and shrugged. "I don't know. As you're probably aware, he's been pursuing me for a long time, since before you and I were even introduced. To be honest, I do really like him. Whether it's his education, his looks, or how he treats me, I have nothing to complain about. We come from very different backgrounds, but that's not something I care about. And all my friends are always saying we should be together. But I never had that special feeling for him, the one that would let me count on him completely, would let me completely relax. That night I was almost there, but…" She shook her head and smiled bitterly.
Fang Mu was silent. He didn't know whether to console her or feel sympathy for Liu Jianjun.
"Let's talk about you," she said, regaining her previous cheer. She tilted her head toward him. "So, do you have a girlfriend? I don't think I've ever seen you with a girl."
"Me? No, I don't have one."
She laughed. "So then what is it? Are you too involved fighting criminals to have time for one?" She skipped ahead to face him and began walking backwards so she could see his face. "Or are your tastes too unique?" Blushing, she gave him a mischievous wink.
Fang Mu's face turned bright red. "That was for an investigation… You wouldn't understand if I told you…in any case…"
Seeing that he was at a loss for words seemed to delight Deng Linyue, and she laughed happily.
A small fireworks stand sat under one of the streetlights ahead of them. The owner was walking back and forth, lighting one sparkler after another and periodically waving them at the passersby. Very few people were buying, however, and in the dark street the burning sparklers looked unusually lonely.
"Wow, this long until Spring Festival and they're already selling fireworks?" said Deng Linyue. "Come on, let's go take a look." Full of enthusiasm, she ran ahead.
Fang Mu sighed, lit a cigarette, and inhaled deeply.
When she waved for him to join her, he held up his cigarette, indicating that it wasn't safe, and he'd be there when he was done.
After saying something to the stand owner, Deng Linyue handed him several bills. Beaming with joy, the man placed the cash in his pocket, handed her a big box of fireworks, and then started up his pedi-cab attached to the front of the stand and drove off.
The box in her hands, Deng Linyue walked back toward Fang Mu, a big smile on her face.
"How come you bought so many?"
She laughed. "I've loved this stuff since I was a little kid. The owner said that if we didn't buy him out he couldn't return home, so I figured I might as well get them all."
"The problem is, where are you going to set them off?" He looked at the box she'd set down. There had to be at least 50 fireworks inside.
"We'll do it right here." She held out her hand. "Can I borrow your lighter?"
"Are you crazy? If the cops see you shooting fireworks in the middle of the street they'll give you a huge fine."
She giggled. "When they see I'm with the master sleuth, they'll let us off, won't they?"
Having no other choice, Fang Mu took a look around. He recalled that there was an elementary school ahead.
"Let's head that way," he said, pointing in the direction of the school. He tossed away his cigarette, bent over and picked up the box of fireworks. As they walked along the street, Deng Linyue trotted behind him, a look of endless excitement on her face.
He smiled at her.
Just like a little kid.
When they reached the empty school playground, Deng Linyue impatiently lit one of the sparklers with Fang Mu's lighter. Holding it as it crackled to life, she jumped and danced, swinging her arm in a small circle while the sparkler glittered in the darkness.
Standing to the side, Fang Mu smoked and looked worriedly into the fireworks box. How long would it take for the whole box?
"Let's do one together." Seeing that he was just standing there, she warmly invited him to join in.
He wasn't interested, but to spare her feelings, he lit a sparkler and swung it around.
In the flickering light, his mind began to wander. The girl silhouetted before him looked just like someone from the deepest part of his memory.
Sadness suddenly welled up inside him.
Noticing that he was staring at her, Deng Linyue blushed slightly and walked over to him.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"I'm fine." He ducked his head and lit another cigarette.
Looking at the sparkler in her hand steadily burning away, Deng Linyue said thoughtfully, "The first time I saw you I felt you were someone with a story. But I also knew you were the kind of person who doesn't like to open up about himself to other people. That's why getting to talk with you this much tonight has made me so happy; because I…I really want to understand you."
Her gaze dropped as her voice grew slowly softer. "Do you remember how I said that Liu Jianjun never made me feel like I could relax completely, like I could completely rely on him?" She paused for several seconds, and then, with what seemed a great deal of determination, looked up. "That night, lying against your chest, I really felt that way."
Fang Mu said nothing. His hands began to tremble.
Thinking back on what happened, Deng Linyue spoke as if she were talking only to herself. "At the time I was so afraid. Of course, I'd been scared before, like when I saw a cockroach or had a bad dream, but that night was different. That was the kind of fear that makes you feel sick from the inside. My mind kept saying the same thing over and over: 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die.' It felt like I was the only person left on Earth; that there was no one who could save me. But then you appeared, at that very moment you appeared. Leaning against your chest, I could feel your breath, your heartbeat. I knew that I had been rescued, that I was safe. No one could hurt me, because you were by my side."
Fang Mu looked down. Although Deng Linyue didn't see it, a huge teardrop rolled down his face.
Chen Xi, I loved you more than anything. And yet I was too late.
Deng Linyue slowly leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"You said that man might try to get me again. If he does," she said, looking up at him, "will you protect me?"
Will you protect me?
She was standing with her back to him in the market; their shadows entwined under the streetlight; her head on his shoulder at the bus stop; soft sounds in the night… Are you still awake? Chen Xi was dressed in white; her long hair fluttering; her face serene in the crime scene photograph…
I will protect you…
At last Fang Mu began to sob. Turning, he saw Deng Linyue, her eyes full of tenderness.
These past few years, I've been so tired.
Unable to help himself, he reached his arms around her and her warm, soft body leaned against his chest. Seconds later a pair of warm, supple lips pressed against his own.
CHAPTER 20
After accompanying Deng Linyue back to her dorm, Fang Mu suddenly felt the need to take a walk alone.
Once he reached the outdoor stadium, he began strolling around the track. For a long time his mind was totally empty. Only when the cold made him start to shiver did he finally come back to reality.
I kissed a girl today?
The details of the kiss were blurry, the feel of her lips, their twining tongues. It was not the unforgettable experience he imagined his first kiss would be. When he had struggled out of the vortex of his memory and seen Deng Linyue pressed sweetly against his chest, his first thought had been, My God, what have I done?