When he had dropped Deng Linyue off at the women's dormitory moments ago, she had looked at him as if she didn't want him to leave, but Fang Mu knew he couldn't stay another second.
Why did I do this?
Was it because of loneliness? Or something else?
When did I get so weak?
At last he was too tired to walk any farther. Leaning against the flagpole at the north end of the stadium, he exhaustedly closed his eyes.
The ice-cold flagpole quickly sent a chill through his body, the sensation like a snake wriggling inside him. Although terribly uncomfortable, he still didn't want to move. He lit a cigarette, inhaled deeply, and then slowly exhaled while looking up at the starlit sky.
The cigarette smoke mixed with his vaporous breath. It obscured the stars, and also obscured the people watching down on him from above.
By the time Fang Mu got back to the dorm it was almost curfew. Du Yu was playing Counter-Strike. When he heard Fang Mu come in he quickly turned around and said, "You're back?"
Afraid he would ask for details, Fang Mu just nodded, and then grabbed his washbasin and headed for the bathroom.
The bathroom light was broken again. In the darkness, Fang Mu filled the basin with cold water and dunked his head. He shivered, but his mind felt clear and light.
Suddenly, something furry brushed quickly past the back of his leg. He was so startled that he swallowed a mouthful of water. He immediately looked up, wiped the water off his face and looked around. A small black and yellow cat was watching him from the bathroom doorway.
Fang Mu knew it was Tom, Meng Fanzhe's cat.
Feeling both curious and amused, Fang Mu cupped his hands full of water and pretended he was about to splash the pet. But for some reason, the cat wasn't scared at all. He just tilted his head and kept looking at Fang Mu.
Fang Mu opened his hands, and as he did a thin stream of water spilled out.
Fast as lightning, Tom leapt away. Instead the water spilled on the foot of someone who had just entered the bathroom.
"Oh no, I'm sorry," said Fang Mu quickly. Looking up, he saw it was Meng Fanzhe. "Oh, it's you. My bad."
Meng Fanzhe smiled to show he didn't care.
Tom had fled the bathroom, but he didn't go far. He sat in the corridor and watched them through the doorway.
As Meng Fanzhe looked at Tom, his eyes filled with affection. "He's really cute, isn't he?" he mumbled to himself dreamily.
"He sure is," said Fang Mu. Suddenly his humor returned, and he added, "Jerry."
Meng Fanzhe turned and looked at him. "Jerry?" He laughed and then looked down, as if thinking something over. "Jerry…Jerry…"
Without another word, Meng Fanzhe abruptly turned and walked out the doorway. Seeing this, Tom raised his tail and silently followed his owner.
Feeling a little embarrassed at having made fun of the guy, Fang Mu grabbed his bar of scented soap and looked off toward where Meng Fanzhe had disappeared.
When Meng Fanzhe had looked at Tom, love hadn't been the only thing in his eyes.
There had also been a trace of pity.
When Fang Mu returned to his room, Du Yu was still at his computer, tirelessly waging war. "Hey, so how was it?" he asked without turning his head.
"How was what?"
"Your romantic date."
"What's there to say? We just ate dinner." Suddenly feeling a little guilty, Fang Mu quickly tore off his clothes and burrowed under the bed covers. He closed his eyes and pretended to go to sleep.
After a while he heard Du Yu finally turn off his computer and climb into bed. A few minutes later he was snoring away.
Fang Mu wasn't able to sleep at all. With his eyes tightly shut, he did his best to eliminate two words from his mind.
Liu Jianjun.
He didn't dare think of the name.
At 6:30 the next morning, Fang Mu was awakened by a beeping from his phone. Hazily opening his eyes, he saw that it was a text message.
"Let's get breakfast together."
The number was unfamiliar. He thought for a second and then checked his phone's call record. It was Deng Linyue's cell number.
His sleepiness disappeared at once. Sitting on his bed, he mulled it over in his head. At last he decided not to go.
A half-hour later Du Yu woke up. Pretending to have just awakened himself, Fang Mu accompanied him to the bathroom and washed up, and then the two of them left for the dining hall.
The moment they walked out of the front door of their building, they saw Deng Linyue waiting outside, her face red from the cold. She had her hands in her pockets, and was hopping up and down to stay warm.
Seeing Fang Mu, she didn't complain; just smiled and said, "You finally came down."
Du Yu's surprise was obvious, but seeing the bright flush on Fang Mu's face, he tactfully said, "I'll catch up with you later."
Once Du Yu had walked away, Deng Linyue said quietly, "How come you're so late? Didn't you get my text?" She looked closer at his eyes. "Or didn't you hear it?"
"Oh, I…didn't hear it."
"Did you get to sleep too late?" She blushed slightly. "Or maybe you didn't sleep at all!" She giggled.
He avoided her eyes. "Let's…just go get something to eat."
As if he had something to hide, Fang Mu took Deng Linyue to a table in the far corner of the cafeteria. His precautions were hardly necessary, however, as lots of people familiar with them kept casting astonished glances in their direction — especially members of the basketball team. They craned their necks to get a better look at the pair tucked away at the corner table.
While Fang Mu was on pins and needles as the team members began whispering among themselves, Deng Linyue didn't seem to care at all. Whenever she noticed anyone looking at them curiously, she just stared right back until the other person turned away.
After what seemed like forever, Fang Mu and Deng Linyue finally finished eating breakfast. He then bid her a brief goodbye and hurried toward the door. But before he had even gotten outside, he heard Deng Linyue's voice calling for him to wait.
She walked quickly over to him, her face slightly red from the hurry, giving him a scowl. "Fang Mu, are you embarrassed to be with me?" Her tone was even more hostile than her eyes.
"…No."
"Then why are you treating me this way?"
"…I…"
"Do you feel like you're betraying Liu Jianjun?" Her voice grew softer now. "I already told you, Liu Jianjun and I were never a couple. Just because he was pursuing me and then got injured doesn't mean I can't love the person I choose."
He could say nothing.
She waited a moment, and then seeing he wasn't going to say anything, she sighed and continued more softly. "If you don't like me, please tell me directly." She paused. "If you think that because we kissed you're now responsible for me, then you need to forget that. We're all adults, so there's no reason to believe anything so ridiculous." She glanced at her watch. "Don't you have class?"
"Yeah."
"Then you'd better hurry. You don't want to be late."
He hesitated for a moment. Realizing that just turning and leaving would be a bit cruel, he said, "You don't need to worry about us. I'll give you a call a little later today."
She looked a little happier at this, the smile coming back to her eyes. She asked quietly, "Can we see each other tonight?"
"If I'm not busy, then yeah, I think so."
"Okay." She smiled. "Now get going, and look after yourself."
A few moments later, Fang Mu was panting as he ran up to the second floor. Zou Tuanjie was standing in the hallway near a classroom, cell phone in hand. Seeing Fang Mu, he abruptly asked, "Have you seen Meng Fanzhe?"