All that day Fang Mu could think of nothing but Meng Fanzhe. The fellow student's pale face and cavernous eyes seemed to always be hovering in front of him.
A behavioral scientist for the FBI once proposed a related theory. If an individual manifested at least two distinct traits while young, the likelihood of him committing crimes later in life would be fairly high. Among those traits were continuing to wet the bed past a certain age, starting fires, and torturing animals or smaller children. These types of behaviors were caused by weak self-control coupled with strong anti-social impulses. And, from the perspective of behavioral science, the need to torture animals often came from anxiety caused by feelings of powerlessness and loss of control in daily life.
So what was making Meng Fanzhe feel powerless and out of control?
And the other important question: What would he do next?
Meng Fanzhe had a weak personality, but he was kind and sweet-natured. Tearing a living cat apart and then eating it was not something a person like him would do. And it had been obvious to Fang Mu that last night, while Meng Fanzhe was mutilating Tom, he was in a very confused state.
What had caused Meng Fanzhe to begin acting this way?
"Tom… They all hate him…so I can't…rely on him…any longer…"
Rely on him?
If Meng Fanzhe had been relying on Tom, what had the cat been protecting him from?
Rats?
Fang Mu knew Meng Fanzhe was afraid of roll call. Perhaps he was scared of rats as well.
Keeping a cat would give him a subconscious feeling of protection and would cause his fear of rats to disappear, at least to a certain extent.
The problem was that this would make him reliant on this source of protection, and should it ever go away, not only would his fear of rats resurface, it would probably be even stronger than before.
If Fang Mu was right, then by killing his treasured Tom — whom he most likely saw as his protector — Meng Fanzhe was essentially burning all his bridges, or rather, destroying the basket in which all his eggs had been placed.
A person who could do something like that was dangerous.
Fang Mu was just as lost in thought that night while studying for class.
After being ignored by him for half the evening, Deng Linyue finally spoke. "What's on your mind?"
"Oh, nothing really." Realizing that he had been acting a little cold, he turned to her and smiled apologetically.
She didn't smile back, just looked down and continued reading. After a while, she said quietly:
"Are you thinking about a certain someone?"
"Who are you talking about?" For a moment he didn't know how to react. He had no idea when she could have met Meng Fanzhe.
"You know…the girl who's always on your mind."
He stared blankly for a moment, and then shook his head helplessly. "I'm not. Don't get so carried away."
She looked searchingly into his eyes, obviously not believing him. "Will you tell me about her?"
"No!" He stopped the conversation in its tracks.
Deng Linyue didn't say another word to Fang Mu for the rest of their time together. When he walked her back to her dorm, she didn't ask him for a hug or a kiss like usual. She just said, "I'll see you later," and walked to the door, leaving him alone on the sidewalk.
With no other choice, Fang Mu turned to go. After walking only a few dozen feet, he turned and looked back. Deng Linyue was still standing in the doorway of the women's dormitory, looking in his direction.
He started to walk towards her, but before he had gone more than a few steps, she spun and hurried upstairs.
He hesitated for a moment and then walked over to the dorm. He waited for fifteen minutes before deciding that Deng Linyue wasn't coming back out. He shook his head, turned, and left.
Is this what love looks like?
After returning to his dorm, Fang Mu first went to Meng Fanzhe's room. Even though he could see from the doorway window that no lights were on, he knocked anyway.
No response, just as he had expected.
He had already talked to Zou Tuanjie, who said that Meng Fanzhe still hadn't come to class that day, and no one had seen him all day.
Where had he gone?
When Fang Mu returned to his room Du Yu was already there, but much to his surprise, he wasn't playing Counter-Strike. Instead he was sitting at his desk with a serious look on his face.
"What are you doing?" asked Fang Mu. Having grown accustomed to Du Yu always having a smile on his face, Fang Mu found his current expression to be a little amusing.
"Do you have a moment?" Du Yu asked, turning an unhappy look on him. "I wanted to talk to you."
"About what?" Fang Mu couldn't help but feel a little baffled.
"About you and Deng Linyue."
He stared at Du Yu for several seconds. "Are you just curious? Or is it something else?"
"It's not that." Du Yu paused for a moment. "I just wanted to talk to you as a friend."
Fang Mu pulled his chair over and sat down, and lit a cigarette. "What do you want to know?"
"Are you and Deng Linyue…really a couple?"
Fang Mu hesitated for a moment. "I…suppose we are."
"What do you mean 'you suppose?'" Du Yu brought his chair closer to Fang Mu. "Do you love her?"
For a moment Fang Mu was silent. He took several drags from his cigarette. "To be honest, I don't know."
He really didn't know. Several days ago, the name Deng Linyue had meant only victim to him. Now, however, she was his girlfriend. The whole process had been like an unrealistic dream that he had fallen into without realizing it.
It wasn't the first time this problem had occurred to Fang Mu. In fact, he had been trying to avoid thinking about it for the past several days.
He had avoided it because he had grown accustomed to his new life.
Accustomed to a girl's warm eyes looking at him adoringly.
Accustomed to someone caring deeply about his daily life.
Accustomed to having a soft, sweet-scented body beside him.
And accustomed to those hugs and kisses that made him tremble inside.
Du Yu was watching him, waiting for more of Fang Mu's reply. He sighed. "Actually," he said, speaking slowly, "as your friend I really support you and Deng Linyue being together. And Yaoyao and I both feel that you two are very good for each other. It's just that you became a couple so fast that, especially right now, it really surprised everyone." He paused. "You know what everyone's saying about it, right?"
Fang Mu suddenly realized exactly why Du Yu had been so serious about wanting to discuss the subject with him. It was because of Liu Jianjun.
Seeing that Fang Mu wasn't going to say anything, Du Yu answered the question himself. "They're saying that you took advantage of Liu Jianjun's injury to steal his girlfriend."
Fang Mu laughed hollowly. This was hardly the first time others had misunderstood him. Wasn't he called a freak all the way back to the beginning of school? Well, he still didn't give a damn.
"Is that what you think, too?" Fang Mu asked at last.
"Of course not! I know you too well to think that." Du Yu paused, and then quickly added, "However, I'm still not totally clear about what exactly happened."
Fang Mu had no desire whatsoever to keep discussing this topic with Du Yu, but when he saw the firm and trusting look in his roommate's eyes, he thought for a moment longer and then told him everything that Deng Linyue had said about her relationship with Liu Jianjun.
After listening, Du Yu was quiet for some time. But when Fang Mu lit his fifth cigarette, Du Yu suddenly seemed to come to some internal conclusion and jumped up and placed his hand firmly on Fang Mu's shoulder.