…
My God, now I remember…
Fang Mu, are you dead?
…
"What should I do? Tell me, what should I do?"
"Don't worry; let me think."
"I embarrassed myself so badly today. I was in front of so many people and I just couldn't say 'here'…"
"Perhaps we should change tactics; however, this other tactic will probably seem a little harsh. Are you sure you can handle it?"
"I…"
"If you can succeed, you will eliminate this fear forever."
There was a pause.
"But if you feel that you are simply a weak person, then forget it. I can't help you."
"…I…I'm willing to try."
"Very good. Now I want you to lie down on that couch. Relax, and then we will began."
There was a moment.
"You are now in class. Try and imagine it. Your classmates are all around you. There are so many people… The teacher takes the attendance sheet…begins reading the names one by one…Meng Fanzhe!"
Pause.
"Meng Fanzhe!"
He writhed uncontrollably, sweat pouring down his face.
"Meng Fanzhe!"
"Meng Fanzhe!"
"Meng Fanzhe!"
"Meng Fanzhe!"
"Aghh!"
…
It's so cold…
My arms and legs won't move. I want to hold my shoulders, but I can't…
Help me, help me…
…
"Are you scared of death?"
"Of course; who isn't scared of death?"
"Actually, there's nothing scary about death. What do you do when you feel unhappy?"
"Um, play video games, or hole up and sleep for a long time."
"Is that so? Actually, death is just a much longer kind of sleep. In it you can forget all your troubles. Many people would rather die than lose their dignity. Have you heard of Hemingway?"
"Yeah, The Old Man and the Sea."
"When faced with an incurable disease, he chose to kill himself rather than forfeit his dignity. To be honest, sometimes I really envy him."
A pause.
…
What should I do?
Did I kill someone?
I'm finished…
…
"Have you ever noticed that seven is a very interesting number?"
"Oh, is that so?"
"Think about it. There are seven days in the week, seven colors in the spectrum, seven notes in the diatonic scale. Therefore, seven symbolizes satisfaction."
"Oh, is that so?"
"And when you're satisfied, there's nothing else to worry about, isn't that right?"
…
I'm a murderer…
Everyone will know that I'm a murderer…
For the rest of her life my mother will be filled with shame…
I'm twenty-four…
My life, this is how it ends…
…
"Take this…go back to your dorm room…search your surroundings, find the number seven…there you will fulfill all your desires…"
…
It's hopeless…
It's hopeless…
…
Fang Mu didn't fall asleep until nearly four in the morning, and he was still at his desk.
He awoke later that day to the noise of people bustling about outside. A feeling of discomfort hung over him. His chest hurt from having been pressed against the edge of the desk and his body felt heavy. He struggled to stand up. A blanket lay on the floor behind him. He figured Du Yu must have placed it over his shoulders.
His finger ached, too. Blood had leaked through the gauze. He must have reopened it in the commotion last night.
But he didn't care about any of this. Reaching unsteadily for the cup on his desk, he downed the lukewarm water in one gulp.
Too impatient to wash his face, he quickly organized his things and got ready to leave.
He had to see Meng Fanzhe that day. All the clues indicated that he could not be the killer. However, some questions remained, and only Meng Fanzhe could answer them.
As Fang Mu opened the door to leave, he bumped into someone standing the hallway.
It was Tai Wei.
"You're just in time. Take me to see Meng Fanzhe." Saying no more, Fang Mu took hold of Tai Wei's elbow and tried leading him toward the door.
But Tai Wei didn't move. "It's too late."
"Huh?" Fang Mu stopped and looked back at him.
"Meng Fanzhe is dead," Tai Wei said somberly.
Fang Mu stared at him for nearly half a minute, until Tai Wei pulled him back inside the room.
"We'd better talk in here," he said.
Fang Mu stood in the center of his room, staring blankly out the window. He didn't look at Tai Wei, didn't say a word.
"This morning before dawn — " Tai Wei began.
Fang Mu suddenly raised his hand to stop him from going on. He crouched down and put his head between his knees as the events caught up with him, his whole body shaking fiercely.
Tai Wei waited for Fang Mu to calm down a little before slowly helping him to sit on the bed. He handed him a cigarette and lit it for him.
With a dull look on his face, Fang Mu put the cigarette in his mouth and inhaled viciously. He smoked the cigarette before turning to Tai Wei. His voice was hoarse as he asked, "How did he die?"
"He smashed his head against the wall," Tai Wei said simply.
"Why did no one stop him?" Fang Mu asked in an almost demanding tone.
"We had already taken all the necessary precautions," Tai Wei insisted. "We shut him inside the detainment room and shackled his hands and feet to the chair. At first, the guard on duty heard him crying, and then he heard something thumping. But when he ran inside it was already too late."
"His hands and feet were both shackled, so then how…?"
Tai Wei smiled wryly. "You're not going to believe this. Meng Fanzhe managed to get both his hands and feet out of the shackles. In all these years, I've never seen anything like it." He shook his head. "The skin on his hands and feet was torn off, and the metacarpal bones in both his hands were broken." He gestured with his hands. "It's hard to imagine just how determined this kid was to die."
The room was silent for some time. At last, Fang Mu asked without expression, "What's the bureau's opinion on this?"
Tai Wei hesitated for a moment. "The preliminary conclusion is that he killed himself to escape punishment."
"On what basis? Don't tell me you decided he was the killer because of what happened last night."
Doing his best to keep a calm tone, Tai Wei said, "Fang Mu, I understand how you're feeling. However, we wouldn't just suspect someone without any evidence. Meng Fanzhe may not have said anything to us during the interrogation, but we discovered these in his dorm room." He took a stack of documents out of his briefcase and handed them to Fang Mu.
As Fang Mu looked through the files, Tai Wei explained further.
"This picture is of a black sheet," he said as Fang Mu examined a photo. "After comparing it to the one that Jin Qiao was lying on in the video, we feel they're very similar. We also found a number of possible bloodstains on it. They're examining it at the crime lab right now and the results should be in by this afternoon…" He nodded to the next photo Fang Mu studied. "This is a hammer. After Liu Jianjun was attacked, we analyzed the wound and made a rough prediction of the weapon that could have caused it. This size hammer is exactly what we were thinking of. And there's this, look here," he said as he pointed at a picture of over a dozen books. "These were also found in Meng Fanzhe's dorm room. They're all about human anatomy, Western criminal history, and serial killers. You remember all those books we looked through in the library? Well, they were all in his room. We've already sent someone to check out Meng Fanzhe's library record… This little plastic bag we found in the pocket of one of Meng Fanzhe's jackets. Inside was a small amount of powder. The lab already determined that it's heroin — "