“What?” Uncle Tom shrugged. “I’ve always been curious. They were practically inseparable all the way through high school. And that boy’s always had a crush on our Co-Co here.”
My breath caught at his words.
Aunt Betty chuckled. “Tom, that’s between them. You know kids nowadays have a different way of working through their feelings.”
I looked at Aunt Betty. “Do you think that, too? That Jax has always had a crush on me?”
She gave me a warm smile. “Honey, everyone did. Everyone thought you guys liked each other, so we always wondered why you guys stayed just friends.”
That afternoon, I let her words sink in and realized how blind I’d been for so long. I’d thought our feelings for each other had developed while we were away at different universities. I thought that’d been when the flirting started. Before college, we kissed each other a few times, but that was it. In high school, we’d both dated other people, though none of those relationships seemed to last more than a few months.
Could Uncle Tom and Aunt Betty be right? Had Jackson liked me for more than just a best friend this entire time, and I hadn’t even noticed? As the question marinated in my mind, I became more excited about Clara’s upcoming wedding this weekend. Maybe this was what we needed to finally get back to how things used to be between us. Maybe this would be my second chance with him. Maybe he was the one I was meant to be with all along.
***
I didn’t know if Jackson was single, but I did know that he’d be attending the wedding by himself.
I had called Clara a month ago and casually asked whether Jackson and I would be sitting at the same table. I had RSVP’d without a plus one. She’d confirmed that he would indeed be at my table and proceeded to list the other people who would be sharing our table—something I’d thought she’d do. That was how I knew Jackson also RSVP’d without a plus one to the wedding. When I found out, I had to cover my mouth with my hand so that Clara didn’t hear my sheer giddiness at the news. Like Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom, none of my high school friends, including Clara, knew that Jackson and I were no longer friends. At first, I’d been too upset and ashamed to tell anyone that I’d ruined our friendship. I also had no desire for them to know what I’d done. And as time passed, it’d become harder and harder to tell people that we weren’t friends anymore. I wasn’t sure what Jackson’s reasons were, but he never told anyone, either.
After I knew Jackson was attending Clara and Sam’s wedding solo, I started preparing myself to see him there. I had planned out what I’d say to him. I had figured out how I’d do my hair and makeup. I had found the perfect sexy, but classy, emerald-green mid-length dress for the wedding. Jackson had once told me I looked the most beautiful in something green. When I’d asked him why, he’d said because it matched the color of his eyes, making us perfect for one another. Now thinking back to that conversation, I wasn’t sure how I had been so blind to the fact that he really liked me.
Despite all my preparations to see Jackson at the wedding, what hadn’t occurred to me at all, and what I hadn’t prepared myself for, was to run smack into him on my morning jog the day before the wedding. Our bodies collided against each other when we both rounded the corner of the street, coming from opposite directions.
“Sorry!” we both said automatically after the impact, but before realizing who we’d run into. But when we took a step away from each other, our eyes met and for a few seconds, we stared at each other in shock.
It’d been nine years since I’d last seen him, and as my eyes took him in, it was clear that age had been very kind to him. He was several inches taller and much more muscular now than he had been in college. With only his running shorts on, my eyes started lingering on his naked muscular pecs. As I watched a few beads of sweat start to drip down his sun-kissed chest, I had an almost uncontrollable urge to run my tongue up along the ridges of his washboard abs. There was no question that he was more handsome and more defined than I’d ever seen him before.
“Hi,” I finally said as I tried to recall what I’d wanted to say to him at the wedding tomorrow. I beamed at him, hoping that by some miracle, he had forgiven me and we could put everything behind us without ever having to mention the past.
“Hey.” His voice was cold and he didn’t return my smile. Instead, he started to move past me, preparing to continue along his jogging path.
“How are you?” I asked. I tried to sound friendly and happy, but my voice came off shrill and an octave higher than normal. But I didn’t care, I needed to get a conversation going with him. I needed him to talk to me so that he could forgive me. “Can you believe how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other?” I kept my voice cheerful as I looked at him hopefully.
“Right,” he responded flatly, his expression unreadable.
“Nine years, but who’s counting?” I forced a laugh, hoping he’d break and laugh back.
But he didn’t.
I sighed and gave up my attempts to pretend that nothing was wrong. “Jax—” My voice sounded more pleading.
“Don’t call me that, Chloe. There’s only one person who used to call me by that nickname, and she doesn’t exist anymore.”
I flinched in response to both his sharp words and his scathing tone. The fact that he had just called me by “Chloe” and not “Clo” also hadn’t escaped my notice.
“Can we please sit down and talk about things?” I tried to catch his gaze, but he refused to look at me.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Yes, there is,” I insisted, feeling desperate and frantic. “We need to talk about us. Our friendship. Our pact.” I cringed the second I heard myself utter those last two words.
He snorted. “Are you serious?”
Feeling a bit flustered, I shook my head. “No,” I retracted. “I don’t know why that came out.”
“Chloe, I gotta run.”
“Wait!” I wasn’t ready to give up. I wasn’t ready to let our first conversation end like this. “I’m sorry, Jax. I’m sorry for what happened. I never meant to hurt you. What happened was such a long time ago. And after everything we’ve been through, after all those years of being best friends, can you please forgive me, Jax?”
He turned away from me and said through gritted teeth, “Just because it was a long time ago, doesn’t mean what you did carries less weight.”
His words stung, but I still wasn’t ready to give up. “Yes, you’re right. I made a mistake—a huge one. But things have changed. I’ve changed.”
He finally turned to face me, and for a mere second, I thought he was finally coming around. But the second his icy stare met my gaze, I knew he hadn’t forgiven me. “And I’ve changed too, Chloe. We’ve both changed. And that means neither one of us is who we used to be when we were friends.”
Without another word, he jogged past me and around the corner, leaving me standing there feeling completely devastated and alone.
CHAPTER E LEVEN
Present Day
I almost decided to skip the wedding. As much as I wanted to see Jackson, I wasn’t sure I was emotional ready for another round of what happened yesterday. But then I realized if I did skip the wedding, he’d know I’d changed my mind last minute, he’d know I was a no-show because of him.
So against all my internal resistance, I arrived at Clara and Sam’s wedding in my emerald green dress, feeling more nervous and less excited about attending the event than I had felt before my run-in with Jackson yesterday.
But to my relief, there were over three hundred guests at the wedding, and I didn’t run into Jackson during the ceremony. The wedding was a beautiful outdoor ceremony surrounded by evergreens and lights. Clara and Sam had prepared their own vows and I cried when I watched them share them with each other.