“Promise.” He beamed at me and squeezed my hands as we secured the love-lock onto the bridge railing and locked it in place.
He pulled me into his arms and whispered in my ear, “You’re my best friend, Clo. You won’t ever have to worry about being alone. I promise that I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”
A splendid mixture of bliss and comfort spread through me like a warm blanket on a cold day as I sank into his inviting embrace. Despite everything that’d happened in my life, I felt hopeful. Because I knew that no matter what the future held for me, Jackson would always be there. And for me, that was enough.
“Here’s to your thirtieth birthday,” he said playfully as he finally pulled away.
“And yours too,” I added.
“Well, not exactly.” He paused and grinned—that same boyish grin from the first day we met, the same boyish grin I’d come to know so well in the past eleven years, the same boyish grin that made my heart soar with happiness.
“What do you mean?” I feigned a frown, knowing too well he was being a smart-ass.
“Well, seeing as I’m eight months older than you, our pact won’t start when I turn thirty.” He chuckled smugly. “So I’m rooting for your thirtieth.”
“Jax.”
The sound of my own voice woke me from my dream. My eyelids felt heavy as I tried to open them and keep them open, battling against the inviting weight of sleep. Finally, I gave in and closed my eyes again, a part of me hoping I’d drift back into that memory from years ago, a memory that seemed as vivid as if it’d happened just yesterday.
But it was too late. The dream was gone. I couldn’t return back to that moment in time—back to that moment with him.
I opened my eyes, drawing in a long inhale of breath as reality set in. Today was my thirtieth birthday. The big 3-0! I’d always thought that when this day finally came, I’d somehow feel different. I thought that this day would feel meaningful, that somehow a magical switch would turn on inside me and I’d have it all figured it.
I was wrong. I didn’t feel any different this morning than I had the night before. Nothing had changed. I was still working at my boring administrative assistant job at a law firm, living in a tiny studio apartment in a shitty neighborhood in downtown Los Angeles, and getting by, paycheck to paycheck. This wasn’t how I had envisioned my life to be at thirty. Because he isn’t in it, a tiny voice said inside.
Feeling a bit frustrated with myself, I kicked off the comforter and walked to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.
“You’re being ridiculous, Chloe,” I said out loud to the reflection that stared back at me from the mirror above the sink. “You’re overreacting. You don’t have a miserable life. In fact, it’s pretty damn good. You just had a weird dream and now you’re being irrationally nostalgic.” I splashed some more water against my face, trying to wake myself up so I could think clearly. Drawing a deep, labored breath, I looked back into the mirror and spoke again, but this time I spoke as if I were trying to persuade someone off a ledge. “That’s all in the past. You can’t change it. You can’t. The only thing you can do is move forward. You have a lot to look forward to.”
I grabbed a towel and patted off the water from my face. “You’re right,” I responded back to my reflection and flashed a resolute smile. “I have so much to be happy about. I’m thirty and I have a wonderful boyfriend who makes me happy and takes care of me.”
Just then, as if in support of my positive thinking, my phone started ringing. It was Carly.
“And I have a new best friend, and here she is now.”
Feeling a lot better than moments ago, I grabbed my phone and answered it.
“Hi, Carly,” I said cheerfully.
Before I could stop here, Carly’s musically-challenged voice came through the phone as she sang me “Happy Birthday” off-key with such confidence, you’d think that was how all people sang the song if you hadn’t known any better.
I burst into a fit of laughter. “Thanks for that. I really needed a good laugh this morning.”
“Hey, everyone loves my incredible off-pitch renditions of songs. I’m simply giving them the Carly-twist.” I could hear the humor in her voice as she pretended to sound serious.
“And I, for one, love the Carly-twist,” I played along.
“Well naturally,” she said sarcastically in her diva voice.
I giggled as I pictured her flipping her long blond waves over her shoulder as she batted her long lashes.
“So how does it feel to be so old?” she teased.
“No different than I felt yesterday. But don’t worry, you’ll find out for yourself in a few short months,” I teased back.
“Touché.” She groaned. “Get those old-lady walkers ready for me.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You’re too much sometimes, Carly.”
“Oh, you love it.”
“Riiight.” I dragged out the word, highlighting the sarcasm in my voice.
“So what do you have planned today? Will I even get to see you?”
“Well, Jeff’s taking me out for dinner and this comedy show tonight.”
“Ohhh, that sounds like fun. So are you going into work today or taking the day off?”
“I’m working today. I want to save my vacation days and can’t afford to take a non-paid day off.”
“Girl, you seriously work too hard. You need to live a little. It’s your thirtieth birthday, and you have a self-employed boyfriend who works from home. What you should be doing today is having lots of obligatory birthday-sex with your hot sex-on-a-stick boyfriend.”
I laughed. “All you think about is sex.”
“True story. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
“You’re seriously too much sometimes, Carly.” I giggled.
“Thank you,” she said proudly.
I rolled my eyes. In the past two years I’d known Carly, she’d always been that free-spirited wild child, the type of girl that I’d dreamt about being, but knew I could never emulate even if I’d tried.
“Anyway, babe,” she continued, “I gotta get going now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”
“Thanks, Carly. Maybe we can grab lunch today near the office?” Carly and I worked only two blocks from one another, so we tried to meet up for lunch at least once a week.
“Yeah, maybe a late lunch? I have a business meeting out of the office this morning, so I probably won’t be back in the office until one.”
“Sure. How about one-thirty, then? And if you’re running late, just let me know.”
“Sounds like a plan. Have a good day at work, babe. See you soon.”
“Thanks, Carly. And don’t worry, I’ll be sure to make time for that birthday sex.”
She laughed. “Get it, girl!” With that, she clicked off.
***
“Thank you, Mr. O’Brien. I’m sorry this was so last minute.”
“Don’t worry about it, Chloe,” my boss reassured. “It’s been a slow week at the office anyway. Have a nice birthday and enjoy the day off.”
A huge smile spread across my face when I got off the phone. After my conversation with Carly a few minutes before, I realized that she was absolutely right. I had to live a little. It was my thirtieth birthday. I had a gorgeous boyfriend who had a flexible schedule. Why shouldn’t I treat myself to a day off work and spend the day having birthday sex?
With a renewed sense of excitement, I’d completely pushed my dream from this morning out of my thoughts as I raced to my closet to find something to wear. I reached for my phone to tell him I was coming over, but before I pulled up his name, I decided that I wanted to surprise him instead.