As if taking this as a signal, the doctor cleared his throat. “Ms. Stuart, we’ll let you guys talk. I’ll check up on you in an hour or so to run those tests.”
Anxiety built inside me as I watched the doctor and nurse slip out of the room. Even though I knew that this man in the charcoal suit seemed to know who I was, he still felt like a stranger to me, and being completely alone with him made me uneasy.
“What are you thinking, Liv?” he finally broke the silence.
“Liv…Olivia.” I said my name aloud. It sounded foreign, yet familiar from my mouth. I then met Connor’s gaze. He smiled at me as he studied my expression. “I still don’t know who you are exactly. I mean, I know your name is Connor, but…how do we know each other?”
His smile disappeared and I saw the sadness in his eyes again. “Liv, I’m your fiancé.”
“Fiancé?”
He nodded. I followed his gaze as it darted down to my left hand. To my surprise, there on my ring finger was a large, sparkling diamond set on top of a platinum, diamond-encrusted eternity band. How did I not see this earlier?
I looked back at him in silence, overwhelmed by everything.
“This must be a lot for you to take in right now. And I’m sure you have a lot of questions. I’ll be happy to answer whatever I know. Let’s just take this one step at a time. We can go at the pace you’re most comfortable with, okay?”
I nodded and drew in a deep breath as thousands of questions whirled around in my head, fighting for my attention.
“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile, grateful for his patience and understanding. At that moment I thought about how hard this must be for him as well—to be engaged to and in love with someone who doesn’t remember you or feel that same love anymore.
“Can we take this slowly? I just feel really overwhelmed.”
“Of course, Liv. I understand. Whatever you need. Just tell me what you want. Okay?”
I nodded again. “Who are my parents? Do I have any siblings? Do they know I’m here?”
I saw the pained expression on Connor’s face and knew I wouldn’t like the answer.
“I’m sorry, Liv. Your mom passed away a few years ago. You don’t have any siblings.”
“Did you know my mom? What kind of person was she?” Tears streamed down my face as I felt the loss for the mother I couldn’t remember.
“She passed away right before we met here in Philly. I believe you left New Jersey and moved here to start a new life.”
“Oh. And my dad?”
He shook his head. “You rarely talked about him. From the little you have said, you haven’t seen him since you were thirteen—”
“—when my parents got a divorce…” I finished his comment as I remembered the flashback I had right before I woke up.
“Yeah.” Connor looked at me in alarm. “Are you remembering things?”
“Maybe. I had a flashback of them fighting when I was young right before I woke up.”
“Oh. Did you get any other flashbacks?”
“I don’t know. I think a little bit from the accident.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I think I was running across the street and then a car came toward me and hit me.”
“I’m so sorry, Liv.” Connor buried his face in his hands. “It’s all my fault.”
“What do you mean? Were you driving that car?” I looked at him in alarm.
“No, of course not!” He shook his head. “I…I just feel responsible for you.”
I frowned. I could tell there was something he wasn’t telling me. “Do you know how my accident happened? Were you there?”
He nodded and looked away. “I wish I could take it all back. I wish…”
“What happened? Please tell me.”
He looked up at me and I saw the regret in his face. “It was the night of our engagement party at the Franklin Institute Science Museum.” His eyes glazed over and he smiled as his thoughts took him back to that night. “You looked absolutely gorgeous in that jeweled gown.” He paused and his expression turned somber. “At some point during the night, you went out to the front of the museum. That’s when the car hit you.”
“I remember running across the street when the car hit me,” I said slowly as I thought back to the flashback I had right before I woke up. I stared at him, trying to remember more from that night. How come it’s so hard to remember? I thought in frustration.
“I’m so sorry, Liv. I should have been there for you. Maybe if I were there, this wouldn’t have happened…”
I frowned, trying to figure out how to comfort this man who seemed to be consumed with guilt. “You didn’t know this was going to happen.” I saw the anguish in his eyes and reached for his hand to reassure him. “It’s not your fault.”
“But it did happen.” I saw his body stiffen and knew it wasn’t going to be easy for him to forgive himself.
“Connor, please don’t.”
He looked up at me with pained eyes.
“There’s nothing you could’ve done differently when you didn’t know. I wish I had my memories. I wish I hadn’t been running across the street when the car came. I wish things were different.” I blinked away a tear. “But sometimes we don’t always get what we wish for. Sometimes we can only work with the hand that we’re dealt.” I was surprised by the sudden acceptance I felt for what had happened. Maybe those who say, “ignorance is bliss,” are right.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I looked at this stranger and somehow I knew I would remember him again. I knew he was important to me. I looked down at the engagement ring on my finger and instantly felt a loss for all the special memories that I didn’t have anymore.
“What’s wrong, Liv?” He saw the fresh tears in my eyes that were threatening to make their way down my cheeks.
“It’s just a lot to take in all at once.”
“I know.”
I watched him gently brush the tears from my cheeks, and from the way his hands caressed my face, I knew he’d touched me many times before. Were we happy before this accident? What kind of person was I when we were together? What did I enjoy doing? It wasn’t until then that another question hit me like a ton of bricks. What do I look like?
I gave him a weak smile. “Connor, I’m really tired. I’d like some time alone to digest all this.”
His brows furrowed with worry but he didn’t try to object. “Okay.” He got up from the chair and looked down at me. “I’ll stop by first thing tomorrow morning to see you.”
“Okay.” I forced a small smile.
He leaned down toward me and kissed me gently on my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you, gorgeous,” he whispered.
As I watched him leave, the hospital room suddenly disappeared.
For a split second I found myself in a grand, sun-drenched bedroom lying naked on a large luxurious bed under lush layers of satin sheets. I screamed out and my back arched upward as intense pleasure radiated throughout my body. I felt a pair of strong, rough hands grip my thighs tightly, keeping them spread apart as a long and hard tongue plunged in and out of me, pushing me to the brink of my release. After I came, I felt another naked body move up my body from somewhere under the layers and a second later, Connor’s face emerged out from under the sheets. He flashed me a wicked smirk as he slowly licked his lips. “And that’s how much I love you, gorgeous.”
I gasped at the memory that had just hit me, and my body tingled as if that moment had just happened. I looked down at my body and the question that had blindsided me a few minutes earlier crossed my mind again. What do I look like?
I slowly got up from the bed, and felt my muscles weak from the days of being on the hospital bed. It took me several minutes to move to the bathroom where there was a full-length mirror along the wall facing the door.
Standing in front of the mirror was like standing face to face with a complete stranger. Nerves prickled through my body like ice, cold needles as I studied every inch of the unfamiliar person in front of me. Nothing about my reflection looked familiar. Her radiant blue eyes stared back at me. Even through the bandages around her forehead, I could see the long wavy blond hair that cascaded down the curves of her small frame. I watched as this stunning woman staring back at me touched her face with both hands. I felt her fingers move across my face.