The kids finally started packing up their books, getting ready to leave. Matt saw and headed for the bedroom, winking at me as he passed. I knew I was blushing and had to make sure my shirt hung down far enough to cover any signs of my arousal. Luckily, teenagers are remarkably self-absorbed. They were oblivious. I got them out the door and headed for the bedroom. I couldn’t believe how nervous I was. My heart was pounding, my palms were sweating, and my stomach was in knots. I stopped first to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Whether that was stalling or advance planning, I wasn’t sure. Whatever happened, I was determined to let him set the pace. It would be his first time with another man, and I knew there would probably be limits to what he was ready for.
As soon as I walked into the bedroom, he was on me. He kissed me once, urgently, and then he pulled my shirt off and started undoing my pants.
“Matt, are you sure you want to do this?” I had to say it once, now, before the other parts of my body tuned my brain out.
His eyes came up and met mine. “You’re asking me that now?”
“I just want you to be sure.”
His eyes crinkled at me, then he took my face in his hands, and said quietly, “I’m sure.”
He kissed me, quick but soft, then pushed me playfully back onto the bed, and pulled my pants off. He took off my boxers and lay down on top of me, still fully clothed. I smiled up at him and tugged on his shirt. “This isn’t quite how it works.”
He smiled back. “Shhh.” His hand was wandering down my side, and he started to kiss my neck. “I still can’t believe this is happening.” He didn’t sound confused or troubled, just surprised. I put my hand on the back of his head and felt the stubbly short hairs there.
“Jared.” My name was a quiet whisper against my skin. “I can’t get used to feeling like this. I can’t believe how much I want you.” His lips were soft and warm, and his chin and cheeks were rough with stubble. He moved down to kiss my stomach, moving slowly toward my hip, alternately kissing and biting gently. His mouth never touched my cock. The fact that he was close enough to feel it along his cheek as he kissed me seemed incredible. He worked his way down the sensitive line where my leg met my pelvis, and then all around my patch of hair, tender kisses and his warm tongue leaving a small, wet trail that had me panting beneath him.
He moved back up and kissed my lips once, deep and slow and gentle, and then stood up and began to get undressed. I sat up on the side of the bed to watch him. I wondered if I would ever get used to how beautiful his body was—strong and muscular, his skin smooth and tan. Next to him, I felt scrawny and pale.
He must have seen something on my face, because he cocked his head at me and said teasingly, “Now what?”
I looked him up and down again and said, “I’m suddenly feeling terribly inadequate.”
He smiled down at me. “Are you kidding? Don’t you have any idea what you do to me?”
I smiled back. There was certainly no doubt, now that he was naked, that this was what he wanted. “I can see, actually.”
I grabbed his hips and pulled him over to me. I kissed his stomach first, as he had done to me. The trail of hair leading down from his navel was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I remembered that night in the tent, months before, when I had been so turned on by the thought of it. Tonight I actually did follow it, first with my fingertips, and then with my lips and tongue. I leaned into that patch of thick, jet black hair at its end. He smelled amazing: musky and masculine and intoxicating.
He was making a low moan deep in his chest, almost like a purr, that was driving me wild, and he had a double fistful of my hair. I put my tongue right at the base of his shaft and slowly ran it up his length, all the way to the salty drop at its tip. I teased my tongue over his slit and then closed my lips over his head, just where the ridge was, and sucked hard. His fingers twitched in my hair, and I heard him moan. I worked my tongue over his slit again, around his rim one more time, and then grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him toward me so that his cock pushed deep into my mouth. His breath caught, and his hands gripped my head hard, holding me in place for a second, his cock almost gagging me and my nose buried in his thick hair. I thought he was going to come. But suddenly he pulled away, pushing me back gently at the same time.
I looked up, alarmed. “What’s wrong?”
“Not that way,” he said. He pushed me onto my back and then lay down on top of me. “I want something for both of us this time.” He kissed me. It started out tender. His tongue touched mine, and then he sucked at my bottom lip. But it quickly grew more urgent, hungrier. One of his hands went into my hair, and he pulled hard, angling my head back so that he could get to my neck. I ran my hands over his body— first the soft yet prickly stubble of his military short hair, then his strong shoulders and arms, down his back, and around to his stomach, which was perfect, hard and ridged with muscle. My fingers found that tantalizing trail of hairs leading down from his navel. I couldn’t stay away from it.
He was still on my neck, licking, kissing, and biting a little. His other hand was roaming over my stomach, down my thigh, then between my legs. His fingers felt everywhere, alternately stroking me and exploring until I thought one more touch might be enough to send me over the edge. I could feel his erection grinding hard against my leg.
I reached into the drawer of the bedside table and found the lube. He stopped kissing my neck and looked worried as he watched me apply some to my rim.
“I didn’t mean that,” he said quietly.
“You don’t want to?” I said it as casually as I could. I didn’t want to push him.
“I’m not saying I don’t want to. But will that be for both of us?”
I realized what he was asking—would I actually enjoy it too?—and kissed him. “Yes. Trust me.”
He relaxed again and went back to my neck, and I was surprised to feel his fingers moving down on my body, past my perineum, gently exploring the area. His fingers starting moving in soft circles around my rim, and I wrapped my arms around him and arched into him, moaning. I heard him say softly in surprise, “Oh,” in my ear. Then he whispered, “Tell me what to do.”
I had never really been one for giving orders in bed, but I managed to say, “Harder.”
The pressure increased, and it felt great, but I really wanted more. I pushed against his hand, wanting to feel his fingers inside me. “More, Matt, please,” I whispered. But I felt him tense a little at that, and he shook his head and his hand moved away. Apparently I had found the end of his current comfort zone.
“I don’t want to push you,” I said to him. “Tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know!” I was surprised by how frustrated he sounded, but there was a hint of laughter in his voice too. “I want you! Jesus, Jared, I’ve never been so turned on in my life, but I just have no idea what to do. I feel like I’m in high school all over again.” He grinned down at me. “At least there’s no stick shift in the way.” I laughed at that.
He kissed me, slowly running his tongue over the roof of my mouth and then over my lips, and then he whispered in my ear, “Jared, tell me what to do. Tell me what you want.”
I knew exactly what I wanted, but I didn’t want to freak him out. “You can say no.” I hated to sound like a damn porno, but he had asked, right? “I really just want you to fuck me.”