Mother has always been a papa’s girl after all.
She never became father’s wife. She never became my mother. She wants to remain as grandfather’s daughter al the time. She’s living in grandfather’s house alone now.
They divorced during my high school entrance exam.
Mother suddenly sent a divorce paper to father via mail. I have a school report.and an interview too. She didn’t mind it at all and divorced.
I don’t intend to meet you anymore. Talk to my lawyer about everything else.
I never met her after coming home from the dorm middle school.
When I came back, they’re already divorced. Well fine. I don’t want to meet that person again.
And my father.
He had some slightly strange atmosphere. I thought so. Well, father.married the daughter of the president of his workplace, he married mother. Then.he endured it for 15 years. He endured it being worked around like a servant. He endured it because he was able to work. He can’t come back to the company like this, can he? He thought that it’s already hopeless. Then, my father. Disappeared at the day of the entrance ceremony of my high school.
He left a note saying Don’t look for meonly in the company.
He seemed to have disappeared from the company in the middle of the night duty. The person from father’s company made a call in the house anxiously. It was just before I went to the entrance ceremony.
I don’t know what I should do.
I was thinking of how should I live after this. What would I do if my father died? What should I do!
But.I have to go to the entrance ceremony anyway.
My heart’s beating so fast. My sweat’s not stopping. My mind’s restless. I want to shout.but the voice doesn’t come out.
The ceremony ended, we went to each of our classrooms.it feels unpleasant.
.Then .That girl Shirasaka Yukino.called out to me
What’s wrong.are you feeling bad?she asked.
I was uncertain if I was there until she called out to me.
I felt that the human named me might not be there. That I’m the only one different among the new students at the entrance ceremony. What if I’m not a person that’s supposed to be here.
But.she called out to me.
Thus.Oh , I’m hereI was able to confirm it!
I’ve always looked at her after that.
.I gaze at her. It calms me down whenever I look at her! I forget all the scary things in my head!
When I return to my house.there’s a bank passbook card and a PIN written on a paper placed on the table where the 3,000 yen was put when I was in elementary school.
My father stopped at the house after disappearing from the company. There was no letter. Just the passbook. But.I thought that my father didn’t abandonme. I felt a bit relieved. When I looked at the passbook.the electric bill and gas rate was automatically debited.so I thought that I’d be able to live in the house for the time being. After that.I got a call from the current president, my uncle, saying We’ll treat it as a leave of absence for three months for now Father was a diligent person.so he was not hated like my mother.
That’s why.I can spend my three months still.
I thought of considering what’s next after this. Thus, I lived alone in the house all this time. I spent my money little by little just like when I was in elementary school. Buying food.drinking tap water. Like that.alone
I talked about everything indifferently.
Un.That’s right. That’s all.
.That’s the end of my story
Err.anything to add?
And then, last week, Yuzuki-sensei called out to me.and now I’m here
The light is dazzling as ever.
I can feel everyone’s glance but I can’t see their faces at all. It makes me uneasy that no one’s saying a thing.
Uhm.I’m sorry for telling a tedious story. My story is boring isn’t it?
Un.This might be trivial for everybody.
.Katsuko.keep the lights on
Sensei stands up from the rays of the backlight.
Because it’s the shadow, I don’t understand her expression. I can only see Sensei’s tall and thin silhouette.
.Yoshida-kun, can I ask you something?
Yes.go on .Yoshida-kun.what do you intend to do after this? .After this? You intend to wait for your father’s return in three months, don’t you? Yes.Uncle promised to pay the salary cutting the salary by a percentage What would you do if your father didn’t come back after waiting for three months? .I haven’t thought of it yet. I want to work part time but there’s no place that would hire without a guardian .You’ll continue high school then? If possible.but I won’t force it
If there’s no money then it can’t be helped.
.You don’t intend to go to university?
Well, no matter how you think about it, it’s impossible.I don’t have my father. I have to survive too I can take out money for you to go to university you know! No.That’s no good Why? Because.it’s irrelevant to Yuzuki-sensei! Aren’t you my Toy? This and that are different .What’s different? Sensei has already done me a lot of things. I can’t depend on Sensei more than that Things I’ve done? That’s right! I’m here! .Here? If I didn’t meet Sensei.I would still be alone in that house. Alone in that dark room. Ah.it’s not good to waste electricity so I don’t turn on the lights when I’m alone. That was a rule since I was in elementary school That’s right. Just being here.makes me happy. I’m grateful to Sensei.
I’ll change my question.Yoshida-kun, have you thought of your own future?
.No You haven’t though of anything? Well.there’s nothing to think about There’s nothing to think about? Since childhood, I never have an image of myself growing up. In my mind, my life would end when I’m around 20 years old! Do you intend to die by 20? No way.I’ll continue to live as long as I do. But perhaps.I think I’ll die in a dark place, alone. That’s what I imagine. Since I was a child. When I was in elementary school, I cover myself in a futon alone in a dark room.Those feelings rose into me.and I remember grandmother’s lonely funeral. It’s really scary.but I already gave up. I can’t escape from it. .Can’t escape? Yes. People would die after all.alone
I breathed deeply.
What’s this.the air’s trembling. Ah.My pulse is fast.
.Right now, I’m happy every day. I came to love a lot of people. There are people who says they love me too. That’s amazing. It’s unbelievable. I’m happy.that’s why I!
The light is dazzling.
I know that this kind of things will not continue forever. There’s no way a human like me can have such happiness.
.Are you thinking that we’re fooling you? No, no, no!Everyone’s so gentle that I understand! I know! I believe!but .But I can’t repay the favor to everybody.I express my thanks to Sensei. But I can’t return the favor to Sensei. I’m grateful to Katsuko-nee. I’m grateful to Nei-san, Margo-san and Misuzu too. I’m thankful to Nagisa-san and Mao-chan. Yamamine-san, thank you for being so kind! Yuuka-san, thank you for cutting my hair. Hidemi-san, Tamayo-san, thank you for listening to a man like me! Morimoto on the other room, thank you Everyone, all of them.are gentle to me. Even though I’m just a stupid man who can’t do anything.
Everyone’s so gentle to me, and yet.I can’t return anything. I can only do what I can with all of my effort.But that’s not enough!
Un. I have to return what everyone gave me tenfold
.That’s what you really think?
I do. That’s why.if I trouble everyone, I’ll go out immediately. I’m prepared for it always That’s not what I’m thinking. Well.Aren’t I a nuisance to all? .You’re not a nuisance! Who told you that!
Sensei’s voice is angry!
The usual cool Yuzuki-sensei.is scolding me severely!
My mother has told me long time ago