The fuzzy haze that clamped down on her grew stronger over time. She could recall all three episodes, but she found she cared less about them with each encounter.
With her emotions very much in check, she considered Ryson. She believed she should be angry with him, angry for not understanding, angry for leaving her again so soon, and certainly angry for not realizing she needed help.
She wondered if she was being too hard on him. He said he wanted to help. That was why he left, to go speak with Enin. The wizard might have an answer.
But to Linda, the consideration held no hope. Her optimism was buried deep with all of her other emotions. She found no solace in Ryson's attempt to find an answer for her problems.
She thought of the magic. That was why Ryson went to talk to Enin, to better understand what they faced. He was trying to be rational, but what was rational about magic?
Nothing.
Not to her.
That was the one thing she clearly understood, the one aspect that came through even when foreign thoughts raged within her. The images might have confused her, the emotions might have first incensed her only to leave her numb, but she knew without a doubt that the magic could never touch her.
She had been told she was immune by individuals with great control over the energy, and she knew there was a power flowing across the land that was always beyond her reach. Previously, her immunity wasn't something she completely accepted, mostly because she really didn't understand it. For some reason, she was very unique. Every one else could touch the energy and sensed the change when the magic first returned to the land. She was apparently very special, but she couldn't comprehend why.
Most of that changed the first time the flood of strange fragments hit her. She still didn't understand the magic, but she was suddenly aware that it could not penetrate her. Any doubt about that was flung from her consciousness and any question of her immunity disintegrated.
Upon that first torrent, she had instantly thought of Ryson. She realized how the magic was within him, within all delvers, but it was a part of him that she could never share. Because of that, they would also never be able to have children. No matter how it was forced at her, the magical energy could not alter her in any way. She could see the spells, see their effects on others, witness illusions, hear the sound of magical thunder and smell magical fire, but the magic itself could never enter her body.
She wasn't sure just how much that upset her. The emotions that were attached to the foreign memory strands were not her own, so they interfered with any true response. Once the alien emotions faded, she was left fatigued and indifferent. She was incapable of registering a sincere reaction.
And so, she contemplated her future, their future, with muted feelings. She wondered if she could make realistic assessments under such conditions, but at the same time, she didn't care much either way. Everything seemed so insignificant. It was easier to become disinterested than to fight through the haze.
Just as she sank into greater unresponsiveness, another wave of sensations rushed across her. The feeling was so odd. At first, she was aware of something trying to take hold of her, as if she could sense a hand reaching toward her, but whatever it was, it could not touch her. It was nothing more than a flailing attempt to reach into her. She did nothing to avoid contact. She didn't have to. Her immunity kept her safe from the unprovoked connection.
While the mysterious hand of distant energy couldn't touch her, it could still somehow point to her. As it did, she felt another intense surge press against her, but it, too, bounced away. It was magic, and it could not invade her being on its own.
But just like the past three encounters, the magic was not completely pure. Even as it deflected away from her, it left something behind. The action of crashing against her broke off small segments of the flow, particles that didn't belong but found their way into the substance, like woodchips scattered over the top of a stream. When the current hit Linda, it was as if the water broke away but the excess debris kept moving in the same direction.
As these foreign substances congregated against her, they eventually pressed themselves into her mind. Once more she experienced the strange flash of disjointed images. They manifested themselves like a bizarre dream. She was simply a bystander. She didn't invoke the scenes into her memory. They just raced by unannounced and uninvited.
As the fragments of thought rushed forward, they bombarded Linda with scores of negative emotions. All of the previous destructive feelings, such as anger and sadness, returned with renewed vitality. She shrank from the coldness ingrained in them, and her body shivered despite the warm temperatures in the room.
The stream of emotions took hold of her in a way that the initial magical contact could not. A fierce bond allowed the segments of scattered images and crushing emotions to reach deep into her soul. Most of her own emotions remained boxed away, but an invading anger and frustration brought out her fury.
She leapt from the bed, disgusted with herself for being so passive. She cursed and screamed, but there was no one there to hear her, and in that, she thought of Ryson.
He had left her, so she would leave him. She raced out of the bedroom and then out of their house with just the clothes on her back. She carried nothing with her as she stormed toward the western gate.
As she drew near the guard post, one of the soldiers recognized her. It was odd enough for someone to be moving toward his post so late in the afternoon on foot and empty handed, but it was also out of the ordinary to see the delver's wife stray far from her home or the Borderline Inn where she worked. There was little to the west but the river and Dark Spruce Forest, and the soldier never encountered Linda heading off alone in that direction, so his concern grew.
"Linda? You're leaving? You might not want to go out there alone. There's been some…"
"Get out of my way," she hissed without looking at the soldier.
Her rebuke caught the soldier off guard and she crossed past the gate before he could question her further. His surprise quickly faded, and he caught up with her before she made it too far down the dirt road.
"Don't you think you could use an escort? There's been a great deal of activity in the area lately."
"No," she growled.
The soldier was at a loss of what to do, but he didn't believe he should just let her continue.
"Really, Linda, it's not safe. If something happens to you…"
She cut him off with an angry glare.
"Did my husband need an escort when he left?!"
"No, but he's a delver."
"So delver's get special treatment, do they?"
"That's not what I meant."
"If you're going to prevent me from leaving, I'm going to demand to know why!"
The guard became defensive.
"It's my job to protect the gate and the people that come and go into Burbon."
"And is it your job to interfere with everyone's business?" she demanded. "If I feel like going for a walk, I'll go for a walk!"
"But why into the forest?"
"Why is that your concern?"
They were going in circles and the soldier was growing frustrated.
"I have to warn you that it's not safe."
"Fine, you've warned me. Do you have the authority to stop me?"
The soldier grimaced. He could stop her if she posed a threat to the town, but she didn't. There was little he could do.
"One last time," he offered, "I can get you an escort, or I would recommend you head out to the east if you're just looking to go for a walk."
"I'll go where I want," and she stormed away from the confused guard.
Chapter 21
When Ryson appeared at Enin's front step in Connel, over a half dozen dogs ran to greet him. The delver happily bent low to acknowledge each one. He smiled broadly as they licked his cheeks, nose and ears. It was the greatest feeling in the land to be recognized, and accepted, by such loyal and loving animals.