Being around Natalia is a nice and welcome distraction. We chat every time I come over, and I’m starting to feel her get closer to me, which both terrify and excites me. She’s already gone through so much heartbreak, I don’t want to cause any more if something happens between Morgan and me.
But I don’t let myself think about any of that because being with Morgan feels more right than anything I’ve ever felt before. We’re even getting better being in class together, pretending that nothing is happening between us, and Ellie hasn’t mentioned anything to me since, so I think it’s actually working.
I’ve been tempted to go to his office and surprise him in nothing but a bra and panties, but I know we have to be smart about this, so for now, we keep it strictly student and teacher on campus.
But the moment, we go to his or my house, all bets are off. The heat and passion haven’t sizzled one bit. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way, the need to constantly want more of someone. It drives me insane—in the absolutely best way possible.
A week passes and things are still as smooth as ever. I keep Ari’s journals in my room, not wanting to be too far from then. Even though she wanted to take her secret to the grave, I like having a part of her with me.
By the following Monday, I’m nearly skipping around campus like a little girl who just found out she’s going to Disneyland. I’m dying to tell someone, maybe Ellie, but I know I should at least wait until this semester is over so she doesn’t taunt me every chance she gets.
After my first morning class, I walk through the commons area to the small cafe when I see Professor Van Bergen walking directly toward me.
“Hey,” I say politely, waiting for her to walk past me, but her feet stay planted on the ground.
“Aspen…” she drawls out my name and my body shivers. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you.”
My brows furrow. “Oh? What about?”
“I think you know exactly what.” My heart starts beating faster, and I’m pretty sure she can see the sweat forming on my forehead.
“Sorry, I have no idea. Was it school related?”
A sly smirk spreads wickedly across her face. “You could say that.”
I swallow. “What is it?”
“I’m going to need you to end your little relationship with Professor Hampton.”
My heart stops.
At least, I’m pretty sure it does because I can’t breathe.
“Yes, I know. Don’t look so shocked.”
I blink and keep my composure the best I can. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”
“No?” She fishes for her phone and grabs it out of her purse pocket. “Do these pictures not imply something going on between you two? Something more than just student and teacher?”
They’re pictures of us talking after class, closely. One is of us outside even, his hand briefly brushing mine, but he doesn’t hold it.
“It proves nothing,” I say confidently. “It’s my word against yours.”
She tucks her phone back in her purse and leans in closer to my face, our eyes level. “And just who’s word do you think the board will believe?”
“Why would you want to get him fired?”
“I don’t, but I wouldn’t mind seeing your scholarship and graduate school references disappear.”
My jaw ticks at her implication, and I feel like clawing my fingers into those stupid deceiving eyes. “I have one year left,” I try to defend. “What is it you want from me?”
“I want the little love birds to break up. For good. None of this pretending you’ve broken up stuff because, honey, I’ll know.”
My back stiffens, and I resist the urge to wipe that devilish grin off her stupid face. “And how would you know? You plan on following me? Putting a GPS locator on my car? Why should I even believe you?” I cross my arms, ready for a fight.
“I’m a very smart woman, Aspen. Do you really want to risk it? One indication that you’ve told him is all I need. With one press of a button, the email regarding your little, forbidden affair will be sent directly to the board and dean, pictures included.”
“So you’re willing to get him fired and throw my chances at getting into grad school for what…to prove a point?”
“It doesn’t really matter why. But if you must know, I saw him first. We were hitting it off until you started shaking your twenty-something ass and grabbed his attention away from me. So if you want to remain on the track to grad school without getting a single parent fired, you’ll gladly do exactly what I ask.”
Shit. She knows about Natalia.
“You’re an evil bitch,” I hiss.
Her lips tilt up into a pleased, victorious smile. “Glad we’re on the same page.” She steps around me and shimmies her ass, stomping on my heart with every click of her heel.
I want to cry. And scream. But mostly cry.
This man has managed to mend my aching heart, and now I’m forced to break his.
I turn around and head straight for my car with my head down.
At least, I wait until I’m inside to release the tears.
MORGAN
I know Aspen isn’t okay.
I just wish she’d open up to me and let me in. But I can’t blame her entirely.
I’m good at shutting people out as well.
But I had hoped we were passed that by now. She’s made me want to open up to her entirely, even if it hurt to admit that pain aloud.
Monday, she sends me a weird text saying that she won’t be able to come over after work, and I feel it in my gut that something’s wrong. But instead of interrogating her, I give her the space she needs.
Tuesday comes and goes, Wednesday the same.
By Wednesday night, I can’t take it anymore. I go to her apartment and knock on her door, knowing she won’t be expecting me but needing to speak to her.
She hardly acts affected by me standing in her doorway. I want to grab her, tangle my hands in her hair, and kiss her. But she takes a step back and allows me to step inside.
“What are you doing here?”
“That’s all you have to say for yourself? What the hell is going on, Aspen?”
“I’ve been busy.”
“So that means you can’t return a text?” I challenge, her eyes lowering to her feet as she shrugs. “Jesus, Aspen.” I brush a frustrated hand through my hair and start pacing.
“Sorry.”
“What’s going on? Are you avoiding me because you don’t want this? Or is something else going on that I don’t know about? Is it about your sister? Or mom? Aspen, please. Talk to me.”
She finally looks up, and I see the pain in her eyes. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I’m sorry, Morgan. I never meant to hurt you.”
“Really?” I nearly choke out in a mock laugh. “That’s ironic.”
“I’m going through a lot right now and need to get my shit together before I can fully be with someone.” Her voice is shaky, unconfident, but I don’t call her on it.
“I opened up to you, Aspen. About everything. I trusted you. Apparently, it was only one-sided.”
“I told you a lot more than I tell anyone. It’s not easy for me…” she defends, and I see the truth in her eyes. “But you’re right, it is a good thing. It just proves this isn’t meant to work.”
And just like that, the piece of my heart that I still had left shatters.
“I can’t believe you’re fucking doing this.” I brush a hand through my hair, squeezing and pulling in frustration. “What happened? What’s happened from the last few days of everything being great to…this?”
“Nothing,” she reassures me. “I-I just can’t stop pretending anymore.”
“Pretending? Pretending what?”
“I’m not who you think I am. I have a lot more issues inside that I don’t feel right burdening anyone with—especially you.”
“Wait, what? Whatever it is, we can work through it together. I promise, Aspen. I’m not scared just because of your past. I want to fight it with you. Why won’t you let me?”
She swallows, looking up at the ceiling, fighting the tears from falling down. I see the struggle in her body language, making me desperate to reach out and touch her.