I’ve introduced Ellie to Kendall and Zoe, knowing she’d make a great addition to our single ladies group. Basically, it’s a nice way of saying how sad and pathetic we all feel. But Jack Daniels never fails to please us.
“Philosophy was a fucking bitch,” Kendall exclaims.
“I told you showing up would earn you at least a B. How hard can that be?” I sip on my Jack and Diet Coke.
“Because, apparently, showing up is one thing, but snoring during class is a huge no-no.”
Ellie snorts, nearly spewing alcohol out of her nose. Laughter fills the air between us and soon, Zoe walks over, telling us she’s cutting us all off.
“Ugh, you can’t do that!” I whine. “This is a celebration!”
“I think you’ve celebrated enough.” She deadpans. “I’ll call you ladies a cab.”
“Don’t be a stick in the mud!” Kendall pouts, clinging to Zoe’s arm. “I’ll find a really cute guy and bring him home for you. You’ve been low on the D for a while.”
“Oh, that usually cheers me right up,” Ellie adds, making us all laugh at Zoe again.
“I need a new job,” Zoe groans, ringing up our tab and telling us to wrap it up so she can call a car for us.
“Speaking of job,” Ellie slurs. “Any chance they’re hiring where you two work?”
“I can ask Ms. J. What kind of job are you looking for?”
“One that pays.” She snorts.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I offer with a smile.
After we pay our tabs, I take one last drink before grabbing my clutch and heading out. Our cab is already waiting for us, and since tomorrow’s the first official day of summer, I offer to let Ellie crash at my place, which is a true testament of how far I’ve come these last few weeks. After reading Ari’s old notebooks and my time with Morgan—as short lived as it was—has really put me through a spin cycle of devastation and then recovery. Using the information of Ari’s past has given me a sense of closure, as devastating as it was to read.
Morgan’s helped me more in these past few months than years of counseling did. I never thought I was capable of giving part of me to another person, but he’s proof that I can.
“Jesus, Aspen. It’s like a museum in here.” Ellie walks down the hall, studying all the pieces I have hanging on the walls.
“Oh, I have a lot more. I just hung up my favorite ones.” I grab an extra blanket and pillow from my room and bring it out to the couch for her. “Sorry I don’t have an extra bed. The couch is pretty comfortable, though.”
“Oh, it’s fine,” she says spinning around and walking back toward the living room. “Thanks for letting me stay.”
“Anytime.” I smile internally at how easy that comes out. A few months ago, having someone stay here, in my personal space and surrounded by all my art pieces, would’ve given me an anxiety attack. However, the thought of people seeing and asking about them doesn’t freak me out as much anymore.
“Wanna stay up with me for a while?”
I can barely keep my eyes open, but I say yes anyway. I grab my comforter and pillow and sit on the chair across from her.
“Can I ask you something?” She looks at me.
“Sure.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
I swallow. I hadn’t expected that kind of question. “I’m not really sure. Sometimes when I think back, it feels like it was going in that direction. As quick as it happened was as quick as it was ripped away. I’m almost positive, had it worked out, I would easily have fallen in love with him.” The corner of her lip curls up in a genuine smile. “What about you?”
“Yeah, I was in that really, really deep can’t-stop-thinking-about-you kind of love. It was intense. My body lit up any time we were together and once it was over, I felt lost.”
“I know that feeling,” I say.
“It’s the absolute worst.” I nod. “But if I had to go through it all over again, I would just to feel that again.”
“Yeah, me too,” I agree. “I want to believe that everything happens for a reason, but some days are harder than others.”
“Destiny has an evil way of teaching us the life lessons we’re meant to experience.”
“So you want to tell me about him?” I prompt.
She smiles and lays her head against the pillow. “Maybe at breakfast.”
“Deal.” I smile in return, rest my head, and close my eyes until I’m drifting off to sleep. The memory of him and his touch is so fresh in my mind. Sometimes I dream about him and wake up feeling him next to me. Then I peel my eyes open and realize he isn’t.
Those are the worst kind of mornings.
I wake up Sunday morning feeling refreshed from having yesterday off. Finals ended Friday, but after drinking all night, I needed that extra day to recover.
However, this is the official first week of summer, and I’m going to slap a positive attitude on and smile happily.
After slipping in the shower, burning my breakfast and nearly my apartment down, and my car running out of gas on the way to work, I’m ready to crawl back into bed and scream.
Why can’t fresh starts ever just be on my damn side for once?
I finally make it to work, frustration and annoyance radiating off of me as I walk inside. I called to let Ms. Jones know that I was running late. She surprisingly understood and even complimented me on how nice I looked when I finally arrived.
After assuring her I was fine to come in, she told me I was needed in the back filing paperwork.
Every possible thing that could go wrong today has gone wrong and it’s only ten a.m., and now I’m being sent to the back?
Someone up above is getting a real kick out of torturing me today.
After four hours, I feel like my body is slowly dying from boredom. I decide to take a break and head to the employee lounge to grab a snack.
Ms. Jones paces around the hallway three times before I finally get suspicious enough to stand up and find out what’s wrong with her.
“All right, spill it.”
“Huh, what?” She spins around, biting her nails. “Oh, nothing dear. Just a lot on my mind. I’m supposed to do inventory tonight, but I promised Natalia I’d go to her play.”
“Oh.” My face softens.
“But maybe I can come in late and do them after…” she starts thinking aloud to herself. “No, then security will be gone by then. Shit.”
I see the stress wrinkles around her eyes as she tries to think of a plan. I feel bad knowing how busy and stressed she can get, so I offer to help.
“I’d be happy to do it for you. I mean, I have nothing planned anyway.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’d hate for you to miss her play.” Morgan has mentioned how close Natalia and her have gotten since she moved in with him.
“Darling, you’re a gem! Thank you!” She wraps me in a tight hug, and I’m taken back by how grateful she’s being. “Shane will still be here, so you don’t have to worry about being alone.
“All right.”
“Just come after the gallery closes. Everything’s in the office, and help yourself to any snacks you may find in there.”
A nervous laugh passes her lips.
“Well, okay then. Guess I’ll be back tonight then.”
“Sounds good.”
She starts walking down the hallway before she stops and turns back around. “Oh and wear something nice. Kay, bye.” She sprints off before I can ask what she means.
I’ve never been to the gallery after hours before, but I rejoice in the fact that I’ll be alone for a while. I might even walk around and blast some music. Hell, I might even dance around in my underwear.
I use the key Ms. Jones gave me and enter in through the back. All the major lights are off except a few security lights that stay on all night long. It’s eerily silent, but it feels safe. Being here instantly brightens my mood.
I have to walk through a few of the exhibits to get to the staircase and up to Ms. Jones’ office. The closer I get to it, the more I hear faint music playing from somewhere. I stop and strain to hear where it’s coming from.