PHOEBE. Why have they departed so hurriedly, sir? They – they did not go in to see Livvy?
VALENTINE. No.
(She reads danger in his face.)
PHOEBE. Why do you look at me so strangely?
VALENTINE (somewhat stern). Miss Phoebe, I desire to see Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE. Impossible.
VALENTINE. Why impossible? They tell me strange stories about no one's seeing her. Miss Phoebe, I will not leave this house until I have seen her.
PHOEBE. You cannot. (But he is very determined, and she is afraid of him.) Will you excuse me, sir, while I talk with Susan behind the door?
(The sisters go guiltily into the bedroom, and CAPTAIN BROWN after some hesitation rings for PATTY.)
VALENTINE. Patty, come here. Why is this trick being played upon me?
PATTY (with all her wits about her). Trick, sir! Who would dare?
VALENTINE. I know, Patty, that Miss Phoebe has been Miss Livvy all the time.
PATTY. I give in!
VALENTINE. Why has she done this?
PATTY (beseechingly). Are you laughing, sir?
VALENTINE. I am very far from laughing.
PATTY (turning on him). 'Twas you that began it, all by not knowing her in the white gown.
VALENTINE. Why has this deception been kept up so long?
PATTY. Because you would not see through it. Oh, the wicked denseness. She thought you were infatuate with Miss Livvy because she was young and silly.
VALENTINE. It is infamous.
PATTY. I will not have you call her names. 'Twas all playful innocence at first, and now she is so feared of you she is weeping her soul to death, and all I do I cannot rouse her. 'I ha' a follower in the kitchen, ma'am,' says I, to infuriate her. 'Give him a glass of cowslip wine,' says she, like a gentle lamb. And ill she can afford it, you having lost their money for them.
VALENTINE. What is that? On the contrary, all the money they have, Patty, they owe to my having invested it for them.
PATTY. That is the money they lost.
VALENTINE. You are sure of that?
PATTY. I can swear to it.
VALENTINE. Deceived me about that also. Good God; but why?
PATTY. I think she was feared you would offer to her out of pity. She said something to Miss Susan about keeping a flag flying. What she meant I know not. (But he knows, and he turns away his face.) Are you laughing, sir?
VALENTINE. No, Patty, I am not laughing. Why do they not say Miss Livvy has gone home? It would save them a world of trouble.
PATTY. The Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta – they watch the house all day. They would say she cannot be gone, for we did not see her go.
VALENTINE (enlightened at last). I see!
PATTY. And Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan wring their hands, for they are feared Miss Livvy is bedridden here for all time. (Now his sense of humour asserts itself). Thank the Lord, you 're laughing!
(At this he laughs the more, and it is a gay CAPTAIN BROWN on whom MISS SUSAN opens the bedroom door. This desperate woman is too full of plot to note the change in him.)
MISS SUSAN. I am happy to inform you, sir, that Livvy finds herself much improved.
VALENTINE (bolting). It is joy to me to hear it.
MISS SUSAN. She is coming in to see you.
PATTY (aghast). Oh, ma'am!
VALENTINE (frowning on PATTY). I shall be happy to see the poor invalid.
PATTY. Ma'am – !
(But MISS SUSAN, believing that so far all is well, has returned to the bedchamber. CAPTAIN BROWN bestows a quizzical glance upon the maid.)
VALENTINE. Go away, Patty. Anon I may claim a service of you, but for the present, go.
PATTY. But – but —
VALENTINE. Retire, woman.
(She has to go, and he prepares his face for the reception of the invalid. PHOEBE comes in without her cap, the ringlets showing again. She wears a dressing jacket and is supported by MISS SUSAN.)
VALENTINE (gravely). Your servant, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE (weakly). How do you do?
VALENTINE. Allow me, Miss Susan.
(He takes MISS SUSAN'S place; but after an exquisite moment MISS PHOEBE breaks away from him, feeling that she is not worthy of such bliss.)
PHOEBE. No, no, I – I can walk alone – see.
(She reclines upon the couch.)
MISS SUSAN. How do you think she is looking?
(He makes a professional examination of the patient, and they are very ashamed to deceive him, but not so ashamed that they must confess.)
What do you think?
VALENTINE (solemnly). She will recover. May I say, ma'am, it surprises me that any one should see much resemblance between you and your Aunt Phoebe. Miss Phoebe is decidedly shorter and more thick-set.
PHOEBE (sitting up). No, I am not.
VALENTINE. I said Miss Phoebe, ma'am. (She reclines.) But tell me, is not Miss Phoebe to join us?
PHOEBE. She hopes you will excuse her, sir.
MISS SUSAN (vaguely). Taking the opportunity of airing the room.
VALENTINE. Ah, of course.
MISS SUSAN (opening bedroom door and catting mendaciously). Captain Brown will excuse you, Phoebe.
VALENTINE. Certainly, Miss Susan. Well, ma'am, I think I could cure Miss Livvy if she is put unreservedly into my hands.
MISS SUSAN (with a sigh). I am sure you could.
VALENTINE. Then you are my patient, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE (nervously). 'Twas but a passing indisposition, I am almost quite recovered.
VALENTINE. Nay, you still require attention. Do you propose making a long stay in Quality Street, ma'am?
PHOEBE. I – I – I hope not. It – it depends.
MISS SUSAN (forgetting herself). Mary is the worst.
VALENTINE. I ask your pardon?
PHOEBE. Aunt Susan, you are excited.
VALENTINE. But you are quite right, Miss Livvy; home is the place for you.
PHOEBE. Would that I could go!
VALENTINE. You are going.
PHOEBE. Yes – soon.
VALENTINE. Indeed, I have a delightful surprise for you, Miss Livvy, you are going to-day.
PHOEBE. To-day?
VALENTINE. Not merely to-day, but now. As it happens, my carriage is standing idle at your door, and I am to take you in it to your home – some twenty miles if I remember.
PHOEBE. You are to take me?
VALENTINE. Nay, 'tis no trouble at all, and as your physician my mind is made up. Some wraps for her, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN. But – but —
PHOEBE (in a panic). Sir, I decline to go.
VALENTINE. Come, Miss Livvy, you are in my hands.
PHOEBE. I decline. I am most determined.
VALENTINE. You admit yourself that you are recovered.
PHOEBE. I do not feel so well now. Aunt Susan!
MISS SUSAN. Sir —
VALENTINE. If you wish to consult Miss Phoebe —
MISS SUSAN. Oh, no.
VALENTINE. Then the wraps, Miss Susan.
PHOEBE. Auntie, don't leave me.
VALENTINE. What a refractory patient it is. But reason with her, Miss Susan, and I shall ask Miss Phoebe for some wraps.