I came back to the present just in time to feel my foot being grabbed, roughly. I yelped with surprise and yanked my foot back so as not to fall.
“What the hell is this?” Ryder’s voice was a deadly whiplash of anger. He was kneeling, glaring up at me. Surprised by the emotional turn of tide, I was alarmed by his look of betrayal. A flash of pain seemed to radiate from his tortured eyes, eyes that blamed me for something terrible.
“What’s the matter?” I asked with genuine concern. I could hardly focus on his words, after seeing the force of his sudden anger.
“Mylunate. You told me you had no idea what I was talking about.” His eyes blazed up at me accusingly, but I could see he was actively trying to soften his voice. “Please. Tell me about this.”
“Ryder, I don’t know what that is,” I insisted sincerely, but I saw immediately that he didn’t believe me, which felt like a slap in the face.
“Where did you get it, Taylor? Who gave it to you?” He stood swiftly, effortlessly, towering over me.
I couldn’t seem to catch up. Did I get bonked on the head here? We were just having a pleasant moment, we’d shared kisses last night, and now I was to be distrusted again?
“Look.” Ryder took a breath, but there was that vein starting to pop out at his temple. His patience was evaporating. “We didn’t know each other before, and who knows what Grayson told you to bring you on board, but now you need to come clean. You have no idea how important this is. I want info on the network, and you’re going to provide that to me.”
“What network? What are you talking about?”
“Grayson’s.”
I shook my head with disbelief.
“Haven’t we covered this material already? Who is Grayson?” We’d done a whole show on this same subject just a few days ago where we’d uttered the same shitty lines to each other. It was time to move on.
“I’m trying to be cool here, Taylor. I don’t think you’re a bad person, I just think you don’t know what you got yourself into.” His voice grew louder with his frustration.
“That’s for damn sure.” I scowled at him, gritting my teeth against my own pissed-offness. “Gee, thanks for the compliment. I’m so glad you don’t think I’m a bad person.”
“Cut the bullshit. You’re going to tell me about the mylunate, and then we’ll figure out what to do.” His voice came out all snappy. “Help me solve this, Taylor.”
“What we’re going to do? Do you mean with me?” I wanted to laugh, except not. There was no way I was going to win in this situation. I was automatically a criminal in his mind. What kind of fucked-up world did he live in that he would have to immediately come down on me after all we’d gone through together? What kind of fucked-up shit had happened to him that he couldn’t see me? Part of me felt empathy, but the larger part was building a very hurt-based mad.
“If you’re going to refuse to cooperate, then this is beyond my control. Traitors are usually put to death, but considering you aren’t from our planet, you might get leniency. Especially if you provide information.”
WTF? “Traitor?” How could he say that about me? The lid blew off my pressure cooker in reaction. That was a fucking loaded-ass word.
Heat scorched my cheeks, and my inner bitch opened her door in self-defense as a knee-jerk reaction.
“Traitor,” he ground out.
“How’s about this? You’re going to back the hell off, explain to me what you’re talking about, and then I’ll decide if I feel like sharing anything with you.”
“Good hiding place, by the way.” As though I hadn’t said anything, he took a casual walk across the room to stand by the bookcase and rummage through a small, ornate, metal-worked box.
His stony gaze caught mine, and I couldn’t stop the pain that stabbed my chest. I didn’t recognize the cold stranger who stood before me as the same one who’d saved me the day before and had been just this morning calling me by an endearment.
“What hiding place?”
“What man would look at your toes when you offer other, more titillating sights?” His face was grim, giving nothing away, which was why I was listening for clues.
“That, on my toe, is what you were talking about? The metal stuff? That’s mylunate?” I had completely forgotten it was there.
“Stop the act, Taylor. Tell me the truth, so this doesn’t have to get worse for you.” He lifted something circular and metallic from the box and shut it.
Were those...handcuffs? Holy shit! What the hell was this? He was going to hold me here? Take away my freedom? Dismissed, disregarded and discounted, yet again. My alarm became full-fledged anger. Someone was trying to kill me. I had no home to go to that was safe, and no one to turn to for help, including him. How stupid I was to put myself in the position of leaning on someone! What the hell was I thinking?
My eyes burned.
I faced off with him, my body hot with growing hurt and rage.
“You son of a bitch!” I snapped through a sheen of tears. “Who the hell do you think you are? You think you can just treat me like shit whenever you feel justified, and believe I’m going to play along like a good little girl? You think you can play hot and cold, lover one minute and monster the next, and that I’m just going to stand here and take it from you?”
“I know who the hell I am. I’m the guy tracking down a killer through the trails of death and destruction he leaves behind. I don’t know who you are.” He snarled, shoving the handcuffs into his back pocket. “But I’m going to paint a picture for you. I was covered in my cousin’s blood only months ago from the last terrorist attack your network launched on us. She bled out in my arms, pleading with me to save her, and there was nothing...nothing I could do to stop it. When your arm’s been blown off and your body’s been ripped apart by shrapnel, there are only moments left to live. She was eighteen.”
Grimacing at the image, I said, “I’m sorry for your loss, but I had nothing to do with it!”
“My aunt survived, barely, but wished for her own death when she saw what had happened to her daughter. She begged the Great Spirits to take her life. Begged. Do you know what it’s like to watch people you love live out their worst fucking nightmares? There’s nothing you can do. Not a fucking thing! I couldn’t save them.”
Able to picture the scene, but unable to handle seeing the tortured look on Ryder’s face, I blinked hot tears down my cheeks. How could I respond to that? “It sounds horrible. Horrible.” My breath hitched on a dry sob. He opened his mind, and I saw chaos, the dazed look of dawning horror on the faces of the people.
“Hundreds bloodied and maimed. Sixty died, all families with little children. A bloodbath—”
“Stop!” It was too raw. It hurt too much. His eyes looked too haunted. He held me responsible for these horrible acts. It wasn’t like he thought I was a bitch; he thought I was inhuman. A monster. “I don’t want to hear any more!”
“You need to hear it!” He grabbed my arms roughly. “Think about how these were real people before you consider lying to me again.”
Shoving him away was like trying to move a wall. Angry tears continued to fall as I tried to twist away from him. “Get off me! I can’t believe you’re saying this. You’ve been in my head. You’ve been in my life. You know I’ve been targeted! I’m not responsible!”
“You aren’t the first Earth-bound human I’ve caught who tried to convince me of their innocence, but you’re the first who made me question my judgment and overlook all the evidence pointing to you—”