He was...wrong. Ryder frowned, as though testing the thought for the first time.
Yeah. He was. It was easier than dealing with his loss.
Yeah, well, he sent Shandria to live in seclusion for her protection as his sole remaining daughter, and he ignored me unless it was to criticize. I’ve felt the sting ever since.
None of this was your fault. You didn’t do anything—
Logically, I know. He nodded. It’s not so easy to let go of a lifetime of guilt.
Asily would never want you to feel guilt. It would hurt her.
I can’t believe she was here. She was right here. She smiled. I miss her...spirit. He looked at me with a pained smile. His chest heaved, like he needed to take a swift breath, and I couldn’t stop myself. I moved into his open arms while more tears welled from my eyes. He squeezed me tightly, his arms sliding around my back, his face pressed into my neck, breathing deeply of my scent. I felt like I was a source of comfort, but my doubt prompted me to question.
Are you mad?
At you? He pulled back and shook his head. No. I’m...overwhelmed. I’m not sure how I feel. Part of my brain is already questioning if this really happened. Will I remember this? Tomorrow?
Probably not, I sighed. Any dreams that involve the Gods’ plane or the Great Spirits become a mist that dissipates before I wake up.
Then I want to make sure I tell you—his eyes were steady, clear and content—thank you.
Oh, Ryder... I pressed my face into his chest, and he held me there, tightly, cupping the back of my head, running a hand along my spine. The bond of connectedness thickened, and I squeezed his waist harder, overcome with emotion. To care about someone was so wonderful and so frightening, all at the same time. To feel so close to someone was amazing and powerful. I didn’t want it to go away, this feeling of warmth and intimacy, but it probably would.
Was this going to be okay? Was this going to come back to bite me?
Even if I’d known it would, I wouldn’t have changed anything. I’d have wanted to have experienced that beautiful time with Ryder. I would have chosen this.
What is it, lin’de? He looked down into my eyes with concern. I can feel your upset.
I thought you would be mad.
I’m not mad. He smiled warmly down at me. I’m grateful.
My chin quivered, but I didn’t want to cry anymore. I looked off to the side, taking in the landscape, trying to take hold of my crazy emotions. Sheesh, you’d think I was on my period or something. Do you want to go see the apple trees?
I hate to tell you this, but we don’t grow apple trees in this province. There was humor in his tone.
What? You’re kidding me! No apple trees? My eyes widened as I realized what had just happened. What a funny girl. And just like that, I was grinning cheek to cheek.
She always had a great sense of humor. Ryder smiled fondly. I was so glad to see the dark shadow of self-contempt had drifted off. It made him appear...contented. Relaxed. Carefree. I wanted to see more of this side of him and wondered what would get him feeling playful.
Will you take me to your lake? I think it would be fun to go swimming...
His lips stretched into a slow, calculated smile. His pale eyes gleamed. He whispered, Close your eyes.
I did.
Now open them.
And just like that, the crystalline water glimmered in the sunlight. The grasslands drifted off into the mist. I felt the episode with Asily leaving my consciousness and gave it permission to do so. I didn’t need that now, not when faced with the beauty before me. Besides, it had served its purpose.
This is it. Ryder grinned down at me, and for a moment I was struck by how beautiful he was and how it gave me a sense of joy to see him so lighthearted. I’d never seen him look this way.
I noted he was already in swim trunks, and when I looked down at myself, I gasped to see that I was already in a totally skimpy bikini. I looked up at him archly, only to find his eyes were moving slowly over my body, growing heated. An answering need fluttered deep in my belly. I loved this new facet of myself. It was like Ryder had opened a new door to my own sexuality.
Feeling the devil come over me, I cast him a calculating look from under my lashes and ran toward the water. I was pleasantly surprised to note that it was warm, and I struck out about five yards. Facing the shore, Ryder was standing there watching me, looking happy and...mischievous. Deliberately, I untied my bikini top and held it up above the water. Then I threw it and began swimming out toward the middle of the lake.
I heard the splash from shore. He was coming after me, and my excitement built. I swam for all I was worth, but Ryder wasn’t going to let me get away. I could feel his predatory intent.
Within moments, he was with me, grabbing my ankle and pulling me to a stop. With a jerk, he pulled me back in his arms, my breasts mashed to his chest. His lips crushed mine, hot, carnal. He swept my mouth with his tongue, tasting me as our tongues stroked velvet on velvet, stealing my breath away powerfully.
But I was in charge of this foray. I bit his delicious lower lip, and he grunted, his hands fisting in my hair. Then I sucked on it to soothe it, and I pushed away. He was breathing heavily as he watched me, and I gave him a siren’s smile. We have all night.
His breathing slowed, and his sexy smile came easily. All night, he promised, keeping his distance, but not for long.
I kicked away, and to my delight, much horseplay ensued, a first for me in the water. Splashing, diving, floating, stolen kisses. Other things were stolen too, like my bikini bottoms, while Ryder was pretending to show me how to properly do the crawl, so I looked at him (this was a dream where I could make anything happen) and imagined his shorts in my hand. I looked down and, with a giggle, noted they were there.
His eyes widened with surprise, and I tried to get away with them—not very rigorously, I should add—and wasn’t unhappy to be caught. Our warm, naked bodies slipped against each other in the water. We stared into each other’s eyes. It was like we were seeing each other in a whole new way.
I’m glad you’re here.
So am I.
The longer we floated in the warm water, wrapped in each other’s arms, the more our energies intertwined and strengthened. It was perceptible. There was something more at work here, an invisible tether that was bonding us and creating a sense of belonging. It gave me peace.
You feel it? There was a look of wonder on his face.
What’s happening?
I’m not sure. I’ve never felt this.
It feels so good.
Like you’re a gift to me. He looked intently into my eyes. Like you’re mine.
I felt the same, but I was afraid to voice it. I’d never felt such a powerful feeling before, had never imagined I could feel this sure of the truth of what he was saying. I was his and he was mine. I’d never belonged to anyone but myself before. It was such a precious feeling. My eyes welled, and my throat closed up. I couldn’t tell him how I felt, but I could show him.