And to be totally honest, Ariana Creeling provided the most potent reason for me to stay. My heart gave a little leap of joy every time I saw her. I had to admit I was pretty well a hopeless case as far as she was concerned. Even half a chance-hell, a quarter of a chance…an eighth of a chance-that she might fall in love with me was enough reason to stick around.
Thousands of kilometers away in the outback of Australia, the pub's phone began to ring. My mother answered.
"It's Kylie, Mum. What happened with the leak in the hallway?"
"Total disaster. Danny Panopolous has ripped most of the ceiling down. There's plaster everywhere."
"But the leak's stopped, yes?"
"For the moment," she said in a deeply pessimistic tone. "Danny says half the pub's pipes are shot, and need to be replaced."
"Crikey," I said.
"And you know how Danny charges like a wounded bull. I shudder to think how much it's going to cost." I made sympathetic noises: my mum moved into attack mode. "Jack will never understand the financial side, Kylie. I've said it before, and I'll say it again-he's bloody hopeless. I desperately need you back here at the Wombat."
"Mum-"
"It's bad enough you're not at home in Australia, but to be living in Los Angeles, of all places! My blood fair curdled when I watched the news the other night. Los Angeles freeways are a shooting gallery! And that nice girl, Melodie, told about your client being mugged-in broad daylight!"
"Mum-"
"It's only a matter of time until something like that happens to you, Kylie-shot on the freeway, mugged, kidnapped, beaten, raped. How do you think I'll feel when your body's discovered?" She gave a disgusted snort. "And you say you want to stay in L. A."
"It's not like that," I protested. "Sure, you have to be careful, but it's the same in any big city."
"And that's not all," said my mother in a voice of doom. "There's the ongoing possibility of earthquakes, terrorist attacks, and severe climate change. Global warming's not a myth, you know."
She was beginning to sound more like Fran every moment. I said, "We keep disaster supplies here in the office."
"Disaster supplies? Will they protect you from killer bees? I've heard a lot about killer bees."
I managed to get in "Killer bees have been blown way out of proportion" before Mum was off again.
"I've been patient, darl-I really have, but now I see it's my duty as a mother to get you out of this situation you've got yourself into."
This was going too far. My voice icy, I said, "Decisions about my life are mine to make. I'll always listen to you, Mum, but in the long run, what I do is my affair. I'm sure I'll make mistakes, and if I do I'll pay for them. I won't whinge to you and expect sympathy."
My mother always knew when to retreat. "Live to fight another day" was how she usually put it.
There was a hurt silence at the other end of the line, then she said, "Of course you're absolutely right, Kylie. You have to make your own decisions. I can only hope that you'll eventually see it my way." A brave laugh. "I'm sure you think I'm a Nosy Parker, meddling in your affairs, but it's because I love you, darling."
"I love you too, Mum," I said dutifully.
For the next ten minutes we chatted about safer topics. My mum even managed to avoid mentioning my ex-lover, Raylene, who'd been the main reason I'd shot through to L.A. Mum's most interesting item was gossip about Aunt Millie, who had lobbed over to the States to see me and had then decided to extend her trip into a world tour.
I lived in constant dread that she would boomerang back to L.A., as she'd had such a bonzer time here, so I was fascinated to learn from Mum that Aunt Millie, who was in Britain at the moment, had taken up with some bloke called Nigel whom she'd met while on a bus tour to Bath.
"I can only hope he doesn't take advantage of my sister," said my mother.
I guffawed. This would be the equivalent of a frilled lizard taking advantage of a Tyrannosaurus rex.
Mum wasn't amused. "Anyone can fall for sweet-talking," she declared. "Even Millie."
"My money's on Aunt Millie. She'll eat this Nigel bloke for breakfast. I'm already feeling a bit sorry for him."
"There's no fool like an old fool," Mum declared. "Look at me."
Uh-oh! Danger signs flashed. My mother was moving into pathos. In a moment she'd be telling me that Jack hadn't turned out to be the fianc6 she'd expected. And that heart-wrenching disappointment was compounded by the fact that now she had the pub to run without me and-
"Sorry, Mum, I've really got to go. I'll call you next week."
I put down the phone and let out a long sigh.
"That bad?" said Ariana at the door. My heart gave its usual joyful leap.
"Major plumbing problems at the Wombat's Retreat," I said.
Ariana knew the pressure Mum was putting on me, but I didn't want to discuss it now. Not discuss it ever, actually, because I still had the lurking thought that Ariana might want to buy me out. My fifty-one percent of Kendall & Creeling put me in a secure position. It was an advantage I never meant to lose.
Ariana came into my room and sat down across the desk from me. "Penelope Braithwaite called me this afternoon. She says she has a stalker. Some fan of her radio program who's got way out of line. She's asked me to look into it."
"It's hard to imagine anyone brave enough to stalk Pen," I said.
"She'd do them like a dinner."
"Do you want to sit in on our meeting? She'll be here in a few minutes to give me all the details."
"When I saw Pen at UCLA this morning," I said, "she didn't mention she was calling you." A dark suspicion swept over me. "This could be a setup."
"How so?" Crikey, Ariana could put volumes into one raised eyebrow.
"Pen really fancies you. She as good as said so this morning."
Ariana laughed. "I don't think so."
"Oh, come on, Ariana," I said, impatient with her. "You're a knockout, you know you are."
She sat back and gave me a long, blue look "And you think it's likely Penelope Braithwaite will sweep me off my feet? That I'll be the equivalent of romantic cannon fodder?"
I grinned. "I reckon Pen's out of luck. You'd never allow feet-sweeping unless you wanted it to happen." I felt my smile fading. "You don't, do you?"
"Kylie-"
"Sorry," I said. "Personal question. For all I know, you and Pen Braithwaite are soul mates, made for each other."
Ariana shook her head. Before she could speak, I beat her to the punch. "You're going to say I'm one of a kind, aren't you? You've said that several times before."
"And no doubt," said Ariana drily, "I'll find myself saying it again."
Crikey, this conversation had gotten out of hand. I had a talent for putting my foot in my mouth where Ariana was concerned. I slapped a businesslike expression on my face and said in a businesslike tone, "Here's my report on what happened at UCLA today…"
I was just finishing my report on the day's activities with a description of the violent argument Oscar had had with Jack Yarrow, when Melodie rang through to say the two Dr. Braithwaites had arrived to see Ariana.
"Two?" I said to Ariana.
She shrugged. "You'd better join us, Kylie, to even up the odds." She added with a wry smile, "And, of course, to chaperone me, if it becomes necessary."
"Blimey, you're not going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Eventually."
Ariana went to collect the Braithwaites at the front desk, I whipped off to see what Lonnie had discovered before I joined them all in Ariana's office.
Lonnie's office door was wide open. "What about Julia Roberts?" I said to him. "She can get in if your door's open."
Lonnie, hunched as usual over his computer, swung around in his chair. "She is in."
He ripped out several tissues from a box and blew his nose with a loud trumpeting noise. "When I got here this morning, Julia Roberts was in my chair. Had the devil of a time getting rid of her."