LITTLE GLASS MAN: Don’t talk to me about them, Peter! What good does it do them, if for a few years they appear to be happy yet afterwards are just as unhappy? Don’t scorn your trade; your father and grandfather were honorable men, and they plied the same trade, Peter Munk! I do hope it’s not laziness that brings you to me.
COAL PETER: No, not laziness. Mr. Keeper of Wealth in the Forest of Pine, I know very well that laziness is at the root of all vice; but you can’t hold it against me if another rank pleases me more than my own. A coal burner is regarded as very lowly in this world, while the glass blowers and the raftsmen and the clockmakers are held in high esteem.
LITTLE GLASS MAN: Pride goeth before a fall. You humans are a curious race! You’re hardly ever satisfied with the condition into which you were born and raised. What’s it all about? If you are a glassmaker, you would rather be a lumber merchant, and if you are a lumber merchant, you covet the forester’s duties or the magistrate’s residence. But so be it! If you promise to work hard, Peter, I will help you to attain something better. I grant three wishes to every Sunday’s Child who knows how to find me. But be careful. With every wish I knock my glass pipe on this pine tree. The first two are free; the third I can refuse, if it’s foolish. So wish for something now, Peter, but make it something good and useful.
COAL PETER: Hooray! You are a splendid Little Glass Man, and rightly do they call you the Keeper of Wealth; you do control a wealth of treasures. I shall wish what my heart desires. My first wish is that I be able to dance better than the Dance Hall King and always bring twice as much money to the tavern as he does. Knocking of the pipe.
LITTLE GLASS MAN: You fool! What a pathetic wish this is, to be able to dance well and have money for gambling! Aren’t you ashamed, dumb Peter, to cheat yourself out of your own happiness like this? What good does it do you and your poor mother, if you dance well? What good is your money if it’s squandered at the tavern, like that of the miserable Dance Hall King? Afterwards you’ll have nothing left for the rest of the week and you’ll suffer want just as before. I will give you one more wish freely; but be careful to make a more reasonable wish!
COAL PETER (after some hesitation): Well, then, I wish for the most beautiful and richest glass factory in the entire Black Forest with all its trappings and the money to run it.
LITTLE GLASS MAN: Nothing else, Peter? Nothing else?
COAL PETER: Well, you could add a horse and a small carriage.
LITTLE GLASS MAN: Oh, you stupid Coal Peter! (The pipe shatters.) Horse? Carriage? Brains, I tell you — it’s brains, common sense and good judgment you should have wished for, not a horse and carriage. Now, don’t be so sad, we will see to it that it doesn’t cause you any harm; after all, the second wish wasn’t entirely foolish. A good glass factory feeds its owner and workmen; if only you had added brains and good judgment to it, horses and carriages would have come into the bargain.
COAL PETER: But, Mr. Keeper of Wealth, I do have one wish left. I could wish for brains if you think I am in such need of them.
LITTLE GLASS MAN: No way! You will encounter many difficulties, and so, be glad you still have one wish left. Now go home! Here are two thousand guldens — and that’s it — don’t come back to ask me for more money; I’d hang you from the highest pine tree! That’s how I’ve been handling things ever since I came to live in the forest. Three days ago, old Winkfritz died; he had that big glass factory in the lower forest. Go there early tomorrow morning and make a fair bid! Comport yourself well, be diligent, and I will come visit you now and again to advise and assist you, because you didn’t ask for any brains. But, I say this to you in earnest, your first wish was evil. Beware of the taverns, Peter! They’ve never done anyone any good.
COAL PETER: He’s gone? He can really smoke, that Keeper of Wealth. The smoke’s so thick, I can hardly see him. (He sniffs.) I must say, though, it is a pleasant blend.
Gong.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, well then, where were we? You children have just listened in on the conversation between our good Peter Munk and our little Keeper of Wealth. You heard the foolish wishes Peter made, and how the Little Glass Man disappeared in a cloud of good Dutch tobacco smoke. Now let’s see what comes next. (He rustles some papers.) Where is that next installment? (Louder rustling.)
LITTLE GLASS MAN (whispering): What’s going on? Why aren’t we continuing with the play?
ANNOUNCER (whispering): I have no idea what to do next, Mr. Keeper of Wealth. Fancy that! The forest wind must have blown away some of the pages; now we’re in a jam. I have no idea how we will ever find our place again.
DANCE HALL KING (whispering): Disastrous, disastrous! What are we going to do?
DUTCH MICHAEL (whispering): As if you had any ideas, you dumb Dance Hall King. It’s going to take something big. Let me think a minute!
DANCE HALL KING (whispering): That’s a laugh: you, thinking! If only it were possible, Dutch Michael.
DUTCH MICHAEL (whispering): Save it, Dance Hall King. Go sing “The Watch on the Rhine.”8 So, Coal Peter, now you have a huge amount of money from the Little Glass Man and you’ve got yourself a glass factory.
COAL PETER: That’s right, that’s right, Mr. Dutch Michael, I did indeed have a nice, big glass factory.
DANCE HALL KING: Yes, right, you had it, Coal Peter, but sure enough, you up and gambled it away with Fat Ezekiel at the tavern. Isn’t that true, Fat Ezekiel?
EZEKIEL: Oh, give it a rest, Dance Hall King. I don’t ever want to be reminded of that evening again.
ANNOUNCER: Yes, that’s right, Coal Peter! I still remember that myself. You gambled away your glass factory. But you must ask yourself: wasn’t that a colossal mistake on Coal Peter’s part, wishing from the Keeper of Wealth that he would always have as much money in his pocket as Fat Ezekiel? It goes without saying that one evening you wouldn’t have a single penny left and would have to sell your glass factory the very next day. Wait a minute: Had to sell — had to sell—? There it is on page sixteen! Thank God, I’ve found the thread again! Let’s go, people, we can continue! While the bailiff and appraiser looked around the glass factory and checked and estimated the value of everything that was for sale, that’s when Coal Peter thought: “It’s not that far to the pine forest; if the little fellow couldn’t help me, then I’m going to try it again with the big one.” He ran to the pine forest as if the bailiffs were at his heels; as he ran past the place in the forest where he first spoke to the Little Glass Man, he felt as if an invisible hand were holding him back; but he tore himself away and kept running, all the way to the boundary he remembered from before. Well, Peter, now you’re on your own; I certainly don’t envy you for what happens next.
COAL PETER (breathless): Dutch Michael, Mr. Dutch Michael!
DUTCH MICHAEL (laughing): So you’ve come, Coal Peter. Did they fleece you and try to sell you off to your creditors? Well, keep calm, as I said before, all of your misery comes from the Little Glass Man, that separatist, that hypocrite! When one gives, one really has to give — not like that cheapskate! So come, come into my house; we’ll see if we can make a deal.
COAL PETER: A deal, Dutch Michael? What is there to negotiate with you? Should I serve you somehow? What else do you want? And how will I make it over this great chasm?
DUTCH MICHAEL (as if through a megaphone): Just sit on my hand and hold on to my fingers. You won’t fall.