Like when he first arrived, she seemed reluctant to give into the embrace completely, but then she did, hugging him tightly. When he finally pulled away and glanced down at her, her eyes glistened again. “I’ve no doubt,” she said, shaking her head, “that seeing you was the motivation it took to get her talking the way she is now.”
AJ smiled. “You heard her.” He laughed softly. “She wasn’t worried at all. She knew it was just a matter of time.” He let his head fall back, feeling the emotion and stress drain from his body. “I’m just so glad the doctor said she’s looking good and this is almost over.”
She shook her head adamantly. “That’s just it, AJ. It’s not over. It’ll never be over. This was just a devastating reminder of how not over this is and that I can never let my guard down again. It’s why—”
“First of all,” he said, pulling her back to him when she attempted to pull away. “You didn’t let your guard down. We both know whose fault this was, and trust me, now that I know . . .” He stopped when she began shaking her head again. “Look. I’ll respect your wishes and step back,” he said, peering at her with purpose, “for now.”
Addison shook her head again, and he took a deep breath, willing himself to not get too worked up. “Baby, you gotta know there is no way I’m just walking away from you guys. I understand you need time. You just went through something no parent should ever have to. I know you’re terrified and I don’t blame you. I am too. But you did nothing wrong. You made it absolutely clear how dangerous her allergies are. I’m the idiot who chose to believe maybe you were just being overprotective. Trust me. I will live to regret it, and after everything that’s happened, you know me and how much I care about you and that little girl. I swear to you it will never happen again.”
She stared at him, brows pinched, still appearing unsure, so he leaned in and kissed her nose then kissed her softly on the lips. “I don’t want you thinking or worrying about what should or shouldn’t happen with us. Focus on her. I’ll wait as long as I have to and do whatever it takes. I’m just letting you know right now you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
This time she took a deep breath, but utter uncertainty lingered in her eyes. At least, it wasn’t a flat-out no. He’d take it. He said his final good-bye and kissed her one last time, this time a little longer than just a soft peck. She let him, but he didn’t want to push, so he forced himself to pull away.
Breathing in deep again, he let his head fall onto backseat of the Town Car that was bringing him straight back to the airport. Things weren’t settled yet, but this was a definite positive turn. Clair was talking and better now, and Addison hadn’t dismissed him with such finality again. It was a start.
Chapter 25
Addison
One of the other things Addison had been so afraid of when she decided to let Clair in on her relationship with AJ was her being hurt. Never in all of the short seven years of her little girl’s life had she seen such sadness in her eyes. Addison knew she’d be disappointed but nothing like this.
“It’s because you still blame him, isn’t it?”
“No, honey,” Addison said, bringing her arm around Clair’s shoulder and pulling her to her. “I don’t blame anyone but myself. As your mother, I should’ve been more alert, more careful, but it’s not why AJ and I broke up,” she lied, glancing away because Clair’s sad eyes were staring at her. “I just need to focus on you and your health right now. Work is also getting really busy, and I won’t have time for a social life for a while.”
They were in Clair’s bedroom, where Addison had sat down next to her on her bed, to do what she’d been dreading to do: explain why she and AJ were going to be just friends now. Just as she’d promised her from the beginning, she said, no matter what happened between Addison and AJ, he’d still be Clair’s best buddy. Addison could only pray that would be the case. The more she thought about giving into the temptation of continuing what she had with AJ, the more it scared her. AJ was a huge distraction, and she feared that once the fear lessened, as it had begun to when she’d been so caught up with him, she might slip again.
Nothing was worth reliving what she’d gone through when she wasn’t sure if Clair was going to make it. Nothing. Addison couldn’t even chance that something like that might happen again. Seeing AJ and feeling his arms and lips on her when she’d missed him so much had, momentarily, made her forget the suicidal thoughts that’d actually crossed her mind when, for a few horrific moments, she thought Clair was gone. She shook her head, feeling every hair on her body stand as the ugly memory resurfaced. Never again.
“What about when things slow down at your work? Will you and AJ get back together then?”
Addison pressed her lips together. She refused to give Clair false hope. “I don’t know, honey. That’s a big if. Work just seems to be getting busier and busier. It wouldn’t be fair to AJ, but like I said, we’ll still be friends.”
Reluctantly, Clair seemed to accept the confirmation of her suspicions. Today was the second day her papa and AJ were back in town for their home stand. Addison hadn’t attended either game, and AJ hadn’t come by like he normally did when he was in town and they were still together. She’d told Clair she had too much work to catch up on, so Clair had gone to the games with her grandparents. Today was also the first time Addison had allowed herself to watch a few minutes of one of AJ’s games on television, and she’d completely choked up at the sight of him.
Because of who he was and whose granddaughter Clair was, like when Isaiah had been hurt, Clair’s near fatal allergic reaction received national attention. It’d been on the news those whole first terrifying days. The news vans had lined up outside the hospital, likely waiting to be the first to report she’d passed.
There was no way AJ would know, and if he did, she was certain he would’ve said something, but Fred had been calling Addison nonstop since the news broke. She’d been so caught up with Clair at the hospital she hadn’t bothered to answer his calls or return his messages. It wasn’t until he threatened to show up at the hospital to see his daughter that she’d finally called him back.
She explained to him what had happened. In no way did she make it sound like it was AJ’s fault or that she blamed him. Yet the very next day a reporter outside the stadium in Baltimore asked AJ if it was true he was to blame for Clair’s allergic reaction. Impressively, AJ had kept his cool, ignoring the question until the reporter followed up by asking him if he planned on adopting Clair if she made it. AJ had reacted to the tactless comment as only he could. They had to pull him off the guy whom he nearly choked with one hand.
That, of course, made the headlines as well. The footage of it had been played over and over. Fred assured Addison he hadn’t said anything to anyone about AJ being the one who’d shared his possibly contaminated ice cream with Clair, but she knew better. Fred wasn’t nearly as upset about what happened to Clair as he was that AJ was being billed as her stepdad in some reports. Addison had smiled bittersweetly while listening to one radio’s broadcast announcing they’d have an update on AJ Romero’s stepdaughter after the commercial break. But like the reporter who questioned AJ, speculation ran rampant that perhaps AJ would be adopting her.
As usual, it was all Fred cared about. He was suspicious that maybe there was some truth to the reports. He was still talking about moving out to California, which worried Addison. But worse yet, he’d already made clear in not so many words that he wouldn’t be signing off his rights to Clair so that AJ could adopt her. Addison had assured him the topic had never once been discussed. She’d been so worried he might start with other threats that she’d let him in on something else: that she and AJ were no longer romantically involved.