Over on the bed, Matthias was working on his club sandwich, but she could tell he was looking at her. Even through the sunglasses.
He did that a lot, his eyes staying on her as if he liked the way she moved, even when she was sitting down—and for some reason, that made him even sexier…to the point where she found herself wondering what it would be like to have that without any barriers.
The looking, that was.
Without the Ray-Bans, she meant—
Shoot, she was making herself flustered.
“You know, you can take those off,” she said softly. “The sunglasses.”
He froze. And then resumed chewing. After he swallowed, he said, “I’m more comfortable with them on.”
“Okay, suit yourself.”
He hadn’t said a thing about his search for Jim Heron, or how he’d found the address they’d met at. He’d just gotten in Tony’s car and let her drive him here.
She wasn’t about to argue with the change of heart.
“Don’t you have someone waiting at home for you,” he said casually.
“Ah, not really. Not much of a personal life, I’m afraid.”
“I know how that is—” He stopped himself. “Shit, I actually do…know that part.”
She waited for him to finish. Instead, he just sat there staring at his plate of half-eaten food like the thing was a TV set.
“Tell me,” she said.
He shrugged. “No wife. No kids. No one permanent. Which is why nobody’s looking for me—well, at least not in a family sense.”
“I’m sorry. What about your parents?”
Matthias winced and then seemed to catch himself.
“No?” she prompted.
“I have nothing on them.”
In the silence that followed, she made work out of picking up her tray and putting it out in the hall. Back inside, she knew that it was time to go.
Probably time to let go, too.
Jim Heron was dead—at least according to the not-so-distant archives of the CCJ, if not that damn headstone-on-a-grave routine. She’d found his home address through one of the sources that had commented on the story—but of course, he hadn’t been there—
A headache cramped her temples, but the pain didn’t last as she switched her thinking to Matthias Hault. He was safe here, and recovering well, and when it came to his memory, he was the only one who could get to the bottom of that. She’d done what she was able to in terms of getting him the basics; other than that…she could pay up if he sued her, although it didn’t look like that was in the cards.
Sure, there was something strange about that house that was supposedly “his,” and some things that didn’t add up, like who exactly had been at that garage, but if she wasn’t going to put it in the paper, those particulars really weren’t her business.
Mels approached the bed and sat on the foot of it. As he put his tray aside and looked at her, that shaft went through her again.
She was definitely attracted.
Especially here in this room, where they were alone. Except she really wasn’t looking for that kind of complication.
“I’d better go,” she said, searching his face.
“So go,” he whispered, meeting her eye-to-eye through her sunglasses.
Neither of them moved, his long, lean body as still as hers was.
God…she wanted him to kiss her. Which was insane—
“You make me…” Matthias took a deep breath.
“What?”
Easing forward, he reached up and brushed her face. “You make me wish I were different.”
The touch stopped her heart; then sped it up. “I think you’re a better man than you know.”
“And that’s what terrifies me.”
“The idea that you’re okay?”
“No, that you think I am.”
Mels looked away briefly and wondered what the hell she was doing in this hotel room with him…feeling like she wanted them both to lose their clothes along with their inhibitions. But damn it, they were both adults, and she was really frickin’ tired of living a halfway life, of wanting things she didn’t have, of skimping on her dreams and getting little, if anything, in return.
She wanted to be loud, again. The way she’d been before things had changed and she’d come to Caldwell and cut short…herself.
With a frown, she wondered just how long she’d felt this way.
And then…
She wasn’t sure what made her act—his voice? His eyes, which she couldn’t see but could feel? His ingrained pride mixing with that churning self-doubt?
Her inner cavegirl?
Whatever the motivation, Mels put her lips against his. Briefly, chastely. Powerfully.
When she pulled back, he appeared stunned. “More out of control, huh,” she said quietly.
“You have a knack for…yeah.”
Well, she had shocked herself, too. But she simply couldn’t think of a reason to fight the pull she had toward him. Life was finite…and after the last couple of years, she was more afraid of not taking chances in this moment than of flying for a while and crashing in a fireball to earth—
“Mind if I finish what you started?” he said on a growl.
“Hell…no.”
On that ladylike note, Matthias’s hand slid around the back of her neck and pulled her forward, taking over, taking control. And in the second before he had her mouth on his, she thought it was amazing how they were relative strangers, and yet his essence was better than context or time: she felt safe with this mystery man of hers, in spite of all his rhetoric to the contrary.
And holy crap, she wanted him.
Seemed like that was mutual.
Matthias kissed her hard and let her go; then came back at her, like that hadn’t been nearly enough. As his tongue entered her, he kept the liplock going, holding her against his mouth, tilting his head, tilting hers. With heat pooling where it hadn’t been for so long, she was soaring, crazy and wild—and thought, this was exactly what she needed. This was it, right here, with him.
Sex here in this room, on this bed. With him.
Abruptly, Matthias pulled back, like he needed to catch his breath.
“You in a habit of kissing your stories?” he asked in a husky voice.
“You’re not a story. We’re off the record, remember.”
“Good point.” His eyes raked down her body. “I want you naked.”
Mels smiled slowly. “Not exactly a newsflash considering the way you just kissed me.”
With a groan, he came back at her again, maneuvering her down on the mattress, rolling over on top of her. Man, before his “accident,” he must have been really physically dominant with women—not in a violating manner; there was no coercion or sense of being trapped for her. Animalistic was the best way to describe it.
Especially as his leg parted hers, and his thigh pushed into her sex.
Mels surged up against the weight of his chest, and put her arms around him—
With a subtle shift, he held her off, and then stopped altogether. As he pulled away, moved away, there was tension in his face and his body—and not the I’m-about-to-jump-you variety.
“What,” she said hoarsely. “What’s wrong?”
As Matthias shuffled over to the edge of the bed, his lungs were burning and he wanted to put his head through a wall. Goddamn him, but here he was, with this beautiful, vital woman who had all the signs of serious sexual arousal going for her, and he was…willing, but not able.
He wanted her. But there wasn’t much he could do about it.
Thinking back to that nurse, to that hand job he hadn’t been into, it seemed like some cruel fucking joke that his problem had returned in this circumstance: The distance between him and his reporter was one that no amount of kissing was going to solve. Same with touching or grinding or full-back naked. They were on opposite sides of a grave again; she in the land of the living, he in a cemetery.
For some reason, it made him even more desperate to have her. And with sudden clarity, he knew that in the past, he’d taken whoever he wanted—and had not suffered from a lack of volunteers. But that hadn’t meant he had cared about the females.