He shrugged and looked away. She didn’t have to hear the thought in his head to know what he was thinking. I don’t know how to be anyone else. “I’ll try,” he said. “But I think you’re all overreacting just a little.”
“No more secret silent conversations with the princess?”
“All right.”
“And no more long days spent roaming the palace grounds with no one to supervise you?”
“I can’t imagine Valri would let that happen, anyway.”
“That didn’t sound like a promise.”
“All right.”
She climbed to her feet and he scrambled up beside her. “You’ll have a chance to prove just how good you can be when I’m not watching over you,” she said. “I’m leaving for Carrebos in a couple of days. And taking Tayse and Kirra and Donnal as well.”
He frowned. “But Justin just got back!”
She was amused. “And how does that have anything to do with this trip?”
“Well, because! We haven’t even been together for two weeks!”
Now she was laughing. “I thought sure you’d be relieved to see me go.”
He grinned. “I am, of course. I was trying to conceal it.”
She laughed, too, and they left the cabin together in perfect amity. But later she thought over this part of the conversation and wondered if she had been duped. True, Cammon was never so happy as when the six of them-the seven of them-were together. And true, for Cammon, a period of ten or fourteen days was not enough time to satisfy his craving for that close connection.
He had showed distress at the thought that four of them were leaving. But had the emotion been genuine? Or had Cammon-the most artless person she’d ever met-had Cammon learned to lie?
CHAPTER 16
CAMMON was miserable for a whole week. Everyone was angry at him, and then everyone was gone, and if Justin and Ellynor hadn’t been around he would have felt completely lost.
Nominally, he was back on good terms with both Valri and Amalie, and he joined them a couple of mornings in the parlor. But Valri watched him with a darkling expression and-at least for those first two days-Amalie treated him with a brittle coolness. He was tempted more than once to renew his silent diatribes, and now and then he caught a look on her face that made him think she was puzzled that he had not.
But he had promised Senneth that he would be good, and he had decided he would at least try to keep his promise. So he was friendly but not intrusive, ran errands when Amalie asked, played card games with the princess and the queen, and was generally unhappy.
He had told Tayse that Amalie wanted to get to know the Riders better, which Tayse thought was a very good idea. The best parts of that week came as the Riders arrived by ones and twos to visit with Amalie. The older ones, like Tir and Hammond, were respectful but hardly loquacious and tended not to stay long. The younger ones were a little more cocky, a little more talkative, and just as curious about the princess as she was about them.
“I’ve never handled a sword,” Amalie confessed when Wen came calling. She was accompanied by Janni, a compact, dark-haired, and infectiously happy young Rider who was Wen’s best friend. “Not even a knife, except a dinner knife.”
Janni’s dagger was in her hand even though she scarcely appeared to move. “Well, that we ought to do something about! It’s good for everyone to know how to handle a weapon. You never know when you might be required to defend yourself.”
Amalie’s eyes sparkled. “I agree! What can you show me?”
Cammon glanced at Valri, thinking the queen might not endorse the notion of royalty receiving weapons training, but Valri’s face was inscrutable. Janni and Wen gathered around the princess, let her hold their various blades, explained the basic mechanics of edge and weight and reach.
Wen stepped back and eyed Amalie’s clothing with disfavor. “You can’t really fight when you’re wearing a gown,” she said. “You see how we’re dressed? In trousers and boots? Anything else just gets in the way.”
“I don’t think anyone would find such attire appropriate for me,” Amalie said.
Janni shrugged. “Well, just for an afternoon, maybe. We could come back and show you a few fencing moves.”
Amalie was instantly taken with the notion. “Yes! What a wonderful idea! Valri, you don’t disapprove, do you?”
Valri shook her head. “No, I think it’s a good idea. Not tomorrow, perhaps, because we have a visitor coming, but after that.”
“And you ought to have a knife,” Wen said. “Something you always carry.”
“Sleep with it,” Janni said. “I do.”
Amalie laughed and gestured down at her skirts. “A weapons belt and a scabbard would look very odd with most of my dresses.”
“You need a sheath you can buckle onto your leg,” Wen said. “Under your clothes. Thigh or calf. I prefer to have my spare knife right above my ankle, but if you’re wearing a dress, it’s more likely to be seen.”
Amalie’s lips parted; Cammon could see she absolutely loved this idea. “Could I wear it while I was dancing?”
“You’d probably have to practice a little so you were used to the way it felt-make sure the buckle didn’t rub against your other leg,” Janni said. “But once you’ve worn it for a while, you’ll forget it’s there.”
“And you’ll feel strange when you’re not wearing it,” Wen added.
“Where can I get a sheath like this? And a knife? I mean a real weapon.”
Wen was grinning. “There’re all sorts of spare blades down by the training yard. We’ll go through the lot and bring up something good for you.” She lifted her hand and spread her fingers. “Here. Show me how big your hand is.” Amalie laid her palm against the Rider’s and Wen nodded. “All right. I’ll find something that’ll suit you.”
So, that was enjoyable, but those hours were too brief, and some days Valri banished him from the room altogether. Cammon found himself completely at loose ends, particularly once Senneth, Tayse, Kirra, and Donnal rode out. Senneth and Tayse promised to be back in about two weeks, but Cammon felt adrift and abandoned the very first day. If he hadn’t been pledged to watch Amalie, he would have insisted on riding out to visit the village of mystics. What could be more fascinating? And wouldn’t Cammon be valuable as they met a whole town of people with unpredictable and wondrous powers?
But no. He must remain in Ghosenhall to guard the princess.
Which he would have been more than happy to do if the princess had seemed to care at all that he had stayed behind to serve her.
On days Cammon wasn’t needed at all, he hiked into the city to spend time with Jerril. They practiced more tricks to build up mental strength, and these were so exhausting that those nights Cammon tumbled into bed and slept without dreaming. Or maybe he’d been tired out by the labor, since he spent some time chopping wood and clearing out the garden and doing the heavier chores that really required a young body and a strong back. Lynnette fussed over him, making his favorite meals and trimming his hair, which, of course, looked ragged again. Areel drew him aside one day and quizzed him on some of the objects that had been making their way to the palace-jewels and vases and small polished tables-all gifts to Amalie from her various suitors.
“Well, I can take you to the palace someday if you just want to walk around and see things,” Cammon offered, and Areel looked as if he’d been offered a gift directly from the Bright Mother herself.
So the next day, Cammon gave him a tour of some of the areas of the palace that weren’t generally open to guests, though Milo watched them closely to make sure they didn’t disturb anything. Areel seemed more than ordinarily dazed, pausing now and then to lay his hand on a marble bowl or a wooden frame and closing his eyes as if the sensation was almost too great to bear. When Cammon took him home, the old mystic staggered as if he was drunk, but he glowed with glutted satisfaction, so Cammon knew he had enjoyed the outing.