“No, but that woman thinks we’re getting married,” he said, stabbing a finger in the direction Mrs. Henderson had followed less than five minutes ago. “In a matter of hours so will the rest of the town. Then what are we going to do? Did you ever stop to think about the consequences of your brilliant plan?”
“Yes.”
“Really?” he drawled, unable to help the dry, biting sarcasm in his voice. “And how do you propose we get out of this little predicament you’ve gotten us into without making both of us look like the liars we are?”
She drew a deep breath. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but maybe we should consider it.” The words tumbled out in a rush of expelled air.
His stomach knotted with apprehension. “It?”
“Marriage,” she clarified.
His heart slammed against his rib cage. The thought of sharing the kind of intimacy intrinsic to marriage made him break out in a cold sweat. “Not only is that a crazy idea, it’s totally insane.”
She slowly approached him. “I don’t think so.”
Her gaze never wavered from his, mesmerizing him. He couldn’t recall ever knowing a woman so unselfish, so caring or generous. A woman more concerned about his and Andrew’s welfare than her own. Her selfless sacrifice touched him deeply. He was a fool for pushing her away, for refusing something so sweet and tempting and infinitely precious, but he’d be a bigger fool if he allowed her to permanently insinuate herself in their lives. Megan would want to know all his secrets, would do her best to discover his biggest flaw. And when she did, he’d have to deal with her shock and her censure. He never wanted to see the softness in her blue eyes harden with resentment.
“Aw, Megan,” he said, “I know what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate the offer, but marriage isn’t the answer.”
“How can you be so sure?” she asked softly.
Her persistence both amused and irritated him. “Because I’m not husband material, and I don’t want or need a wife.” But Andrew did need a mother, and that thought buzzed around his conscience like a pesky gnat, forcing him to acknowledge everything Megan could offer his son.
“What will happen to Andrew if we don’t get married?” she asked, her hands twisting anxiously at her waist. “Will Mrs. Henderson still give the Lindens temporary custody?”
Probably, he thought, unable to ignore the anger and bitterness the thought evoked. He moved to the living room window, braced a forearm on the casing and watched Andrew kick a soccer ball around on the front lawn. God, it would kill him to lose his son, the one person who made a difference in his life.
He sighed heavily. “Once you leave, I’ll handle Mrs. Henderson, so don’t worry about Andrew.”
“How can I not?” she said, her voice rising in anger. “Kane, what happened this afternoon was my fault.”
He glanced over his shoulder, giving her a halfhearted grin. “Like Mrs. Henderson said, I was a willing party.”
“If Andrew becomes torn in a custody battle as a result of what happened, I’ll never forgive myself.” Tears welled in her eyes. “Especially if we have the ability to spare him that kind of heartache.”
“Megan,” he said softly and with more patience than God gave a saint, “marriage won’t solve my problems with the Lindens.” No, there was too much old hurt and blame between them. If anything, marriage to another woman would give the Lindens another reason to resent him.
“Maybe not completely, but they won’t ever have any grounds to file for custody.”
True, he thought, knowing that would be one advantage to being married. Andrew would have all the maternal in fluence he currently lacked. Another advantage would be a warm, willing wife in his bed, and a shared passion Kane knew he’d never tire of. Desire stirred within him at the image of making love with Megan, of burying himself so deeply in her body that he forgot all the differences that separated them.
But in the light of dawn, reality had a nasty habit of putting everything into its proper perspective. Their differences were vast and very complicated. His guard would have to remain intact to protect his pride. He would have to keep his emotions withdrawn.
She was willing to sacrifice so much, and he had nothing substantial to offer her in exchange. His simple way of life couldn’t much compare to her life in Seattle.
That thought brought to mind an interesting question. “You have a life in Seattle. Why are you so willing to give it up for a small town like Linden? There’s nothing for you here.”
“Andrew is here,” she said simply.
He shook his head in amazement, baffled at how one little boy could mean so much to her that she’d relocate without a moment’s pause. “But your life is in Seattle.”
She gave a short laugh that held more sadness than humor. “My life consists of a shared apartment, a few friends and a career that can relocate as easily as I can.”
“I just don’t get it, Megan. There are plenty of beneficial reasons for me to marry you, especially where Andrew is concerned, but what’s in this for you?”
Her mood suddenly turned somber. “The chance to raise a child.”
He frowned, not understanding her logic. “You don’t need marriage for that.”
“No, not in this modern age of single parenting and artificial insemination,” she agreed wryly. “But I don’t want to be a single parent, and artificial insemination sounds like such a cold process. What I want, what I’ve wanted since I was a young girl, is a family, and that’s what you, Andrew and I can be.”
She made it sound so easy. Too easy. “How come you didn’t have a family with your ex-husband?”
“Because he didn’t want one.”
“That’s why you’re divorced?” he said, guessing.
“Yes. He decided his career in the legal field was more important than having a family, and having a family was too important to me to stay in a childless marriage.” Moving to the couch, she held his gaze steadily, sincerely. “I love the kind of warmth and closeness I share with Andrew, especially since I never had that as a child growing up in foster homes. I know this might sound silly to you, but after years of feeling so out of place, I’ve finally found a place where I feel like I belong.”
“In Linden?” His voice was incredulous.
A small smile touched her mouth. “I never did like the city, but that’s where I was raised and that’s where my ex-husband wanted to stay. It’s so clear and beautiful here, and such a different way of life. Slow. Unencumbered. Wholesome.”
“Try living here your whole life,” he said cynically.
Her expression turned soft and wistful. “I wish I had.”
Their gazes holding, something connected between them. If she’d grown up in Linden, would they have been friends? Or would she have kept her distance like most of the other women? Would he have married Cathy, or would he have fallen hard for Megan and her warm, accepting ways? He couldn’t help but think how different their lives might have turned out if they’d known one another…couldn’t stop the image of her round with his child, excited about the prospect of having a baby. His baby.
“Now that I’ve bared everything about myself,” Megan said, “you know why I wouldn’t hesitate to marry you, move out of state and be with Andrew. I love him very much, and you know I care for you.”
But was that enough? “I know you do, but-”
“It can be a marriage of convenience,” she suggested in a rush, as if sensing a rejection. “Andrew needs a maternal influence, and I can provide that I don’t mind cooking and cleaning and taking care of the house. I can set up a desk over in that corner and write my books here at home and still be here for Andrew on a daily basis.” She worried her bottom lip, her gaze bright with silent invocation. “Kane, I don’t have any motives other than just wanting to be with Andrew. And I don’t want him to be torn between you and the Lindens.”