“The main thing the ONI is teaching people is how to ignore the real world,” Samantha said. “That’s why it’s falling apart.”
“The world was already falling apart,” Aech said. “Remember?”
“And the ONI might be the thing that saves us,” I said. “It has spiritual, psychological, and cultural benefits that are still revealing themselves to us. In a very true sense, the ONI has the ability to free our minds, by temporarily liberating them from their containers.”
Art3mis tried to interrupt, but I kept on talking over her.
“ONI users around the world are developing a whole new kind of empathy that you can’t even begin to understand, until you’ve experienced it yourself….”
She mimed jerking off.
“Oh please,” she said, with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “Spare me your transhumanist hive-mind bullshit, Locutus. I’m still not buying it.”
“You can’t deny that the OASIS Neural Interface has improved the quality of millions of people’s lives,” Aech interjected. “Numerous studies have shown a drastic increase in empathy and environmental conservation among daily ONI users, along with an overwhelming drop in racist, sexist, and homophobic ideologies. And that’s all around the world, across all age groups and social strata. For the first time in human history, we have technology that gives us the ability to live in someone else’s skin for a little while. And we’ve seen a huge drop in hate crimes around the globe too. And crime rates in general—”
“Yes,” Art3mis said, cutting her off. “When you turn half of the world’s population into zombified ONI addicts, crime rates are going to drop. The flu outbreak that killed both of my parents made crime rates drop, too, Aech.”
I lowered my eyes to the table and clenched my teeth to keep my mouth shut. Aech cleared her throat, but then opted not to respond either. But Shoto couldn’t help himself.
“Odd for you to bring that up, Arty,” he replied. “Since we know that ONI technology is our best protection against other deadly pandemics like the one that killed your parents. They don’t happen anymore, thanks to us. By moving most human social interaction online and making so much tourism virtual, we’ve cut travel drastically and limited the spread of nearly all infectious diseases. Including sexually transmitted ones, since now most people have sex inside the OASIS.” He smiled. “Thanks to the ONI, people can still go to packed concerts and crowd surf without any fear of microscopic death. It brings people together and connects them….”
“The ONI has helped drastically lower the global birth rate too,” Aech added. “We’re already on our way to solving the overpopulation problem.”
“Yes, but at what cost?” Samantha asked in exasperation. “A world where people don’t go outside or touch each other anymore? Where everyone sleeps their lives away while reality collapses all around them?” She shook her head. “Sometimes I think my parents are better off. They don’t have to live in this utopia you’ve all created.”
“You’ve never even put on an ONI headset,” I said, throwing my hands up. “So when you spout these half-baked proclamations, you literally have no idea what you’re talking about. You never have.”
Art3mis stared at me in silence for a moment. Then she glanced over at Aech and Shoto.
“This is hopeless,” she said. “I’m debating a group of drug dealers who are all getting high on their own supply. You’re just as addicted as your customers.” She turned to Faisal. “Let’s get this vote on the record, so I can get the fuck out of here.”
Faisal nodded and, still smiling cheerfully, he called for an official vote on Art3mis’s proposed ONI age restriction. She was outvoted once again, three nays to her one aye.
“All right,” Faisal said. “With that out of the way, this meeting can now be adjourned.”
Without another word, Samantha logged out and her avatar vanished.
“Thank God!” Aech said, massaging her neck with one hand. She turned to me. “Why do you always have to get her all riled up like that?”
“Me? You were the one who pissed her off this time!” I pointed at Faisal. “Have him read back the transcript.”
“No thanks,” Aech said. “I gotta bounce out and blaze. All this drama rattles my nerves. But the three of us should catch up sometime soon. Hang out in the Basement for old time’s sake. Watch some bad movies. Play some Risk. I’ll text y’all, OK?”
“Sounds good,” I said.
Aech and I bumped fists, then she gave Shoto a high five before teleporting away.
“I gotta get going too,” Faisal said. “More prep to do for the update.” He walked over and shook hands with each of us and then he teleported away too.
As soon as we were alone, Shoto turned to me.
“Do you think Arty is right?” he asked. “Are we giving up on the real world?”
“Of course not,” I replied. “Art3mis means well, but she has absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.” I grinned at him. “She’s still stuck in the past, and we’re already living large in the future, my friend.”
“Maybe you’re right,” he said, nodding. His expression suddenly brightened. “Hey, I’m almost finished coding my new Macross Plus quest! Wanna help me playtest it when it’s done?”
“Oh hell yes!” I said. “Count me in.”
“Great! I’ll text you later this week when it’s ready,” he said. “Later, Z.”
He waved and vanished from the conference room, leaving me alone.
I stood there motionless for a long time, listening to the echo of Samantha’s accusations ricochet around inside my head until the noise finally faded away.
“Hello!” I shouted at the Six-Fingered Man one final time. “My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father. Prepare to die!”
Then I lunged with my rapier, launching into a rapid series of attacks that forced my opponent to parry and retreat backward across the length of the banquet hall, until I finally had him cornered. I could have just killed him at that point and completed the quest. But the Flicksync gave you bonus points for correctly reciting all of your character’s dialogue, and I was trying to get a perfect score this time around.
“Offer me money!” I demanded, slicing open the Six-Fingered Man’s left cheek.
“Yes!” he hissed, wincing in pain. “Power too,” I added. “Promise me that!”
I flicked my sword once again, giving him a matching wound on his right cheek.
“All that I have and more!” he whispered. “Please!”
“Offer me anything I ask for….”
“Anything you want,” the Six-Fingered Man replied.
“I want my father back, you son of a bitch!”
And with that, I ran the Six-Fingered Man through, plunging the point of my rapier into his stomach. I savored the expression on his face for a moment, then I pulled the sword free and kicked him backward. The NPC fell to the stone floor, let out a groan, and died. His corpse immediately faded out of existence, leaving behind a pile of the items he’d been carrying. I scooped them up, then turned and sprinted out of the room and down the hall to Buttercup’s bridal suite. Once there, I completed the quest by helping her and Westley escape out the window. Fezzik was waiting for us down below, holding the reins of four white horses. We rode them out of the kingdom to freedom, while the song “Storybook Love” played on the soundtrack.
When the song ended, so did the quest. The horses and the other characters vanished and my avatar’s appearance returned to normal. I found myself standing alone outside the quest portal I’d originally entered, on the eastern shore of the kingdom of Guilder.