Rebels and traitors

'Do you want to go?'

'You know I do not.'

'Do I?'

There was a small, tense silence.

'You know my heart,' he said. Quiet people, Juliana thought, could be most single-minded. With this one, there was no vapid etiquette. Gideon Jukes came right out and declared himself, without prevarication or preamble. He shrugged. 'Let us be open with each other. You do not keep a strangers' lodging house; you never bid mere passers-by to shelter from the rain — nor do I linger on other women's doorsteps, hoping for an invitation.' He dropped his hand from the door, folding his arms tight across his chest. 'Here is the thing; I have to confess it — either I go now, and at once, or — ' Or I shall beg to stay with you.

'Or?' I will plead with you to do it.

'We both know what will happen.' There was just enough light for Gideon to see Juliana gazing at him, questioning. Questioning not his motives, but his willingness to have those motives. She glimpsed a shadow of a smile from him that she might still doubt this. He spoke a little dryly, spelling out the situation much as he had earlier explained how drawings were printed: 'There will be kissing, and various matters that lead from it…'

'I am glad that you say so.' Juliana laid a hand on the door handle. 'Indeed, sir, I hope you will not think me forward — but I shall insist upon it.'

She felt extremely calm. She closed the door and turned the key in its lock. Gideon reached up and pushed a bolt home for her.

His arm dropped and came straight around Juliana, gathering her to him. She had thought she might have to stand on tiptoe, but they fitted together naturally. Gideon kissed her, gently and deferentially, though for a long time. She kissed him, making no bones about it. These were as honest and sweet as any kisses Juliana ever gave.

Soon, she took his hand to guide Gideon safely through the darkness of the haberdashery, where she knew her way around obstacles even without a candle. They came upstairs; she led him to her room. With children and a servant in the house, there was no place for turmoil, uncontrollable passion in stairwells or festoons of discarded clothes and cast-off shoes. That was not their way in any case. They had waited a long while for one another. They walked up through the house, closing doors and dousing lights almost as if it was their long-time nightly ritual. By one dim rushlight, they undressed as neatly as if they already had behind them a companionship of decades, each folding their clothes upon a chair. Only once naked, they did clasp one another, gazing together a little in wonder at their situation. Yet they were smiling and already bonded in trust and friendship, until suddenly they kissed again, this time harder and with greater urgency, no longer at all deferential though full of tenderness.

So, without any more words spoken, they came gladly to bed.

Chapter Seventy-Two — Shoe Lane: 1654

For Gideon Jukes, life under the Protectorate truly began on the morning he woke in the arms of his lover, drugged with spent passion, as he smiled into her smiling eyes. They lay together in silence, braving the risk that the door would burst open and they would be discovered. They heard the sounds of young boys scrambling for breakfast, petulant shouts, thrown shoes, mild scolding from Catherine Keevil. Either Catherine knew what had happened and shielded the couple from disturbance, or in the scramble to get ready for school there was no time for the boys even to think of plaguing their mother. They clattered downstairs. Catherine took the boys to school; on her return she would open the shop and remain there.

The house grew quiet. Juliana and Gideon were alone.

With some trepidation Juliana surveyed the man she had taken to her bed. 'Well, that's done!' he quipped callously. 'Time to be up and off!'

For a split second he deceived her.

Juliana responded with a languid stretch, tucking her hair behind her ears. She fought back: 'Bolt then. Always so convenient for everyone… So, Captain Jukes, you are a loose seducer who lies with a woman once, then thinks his wager over, and moves on, never to be seen again? No, I do not believe it — you actor!'

Gideon exploded into giggles. He kept laughing, lost in a helpless joke of his own, while Juliana gazed at him in amazement.

When he settled, she asked, 'What was that about?'

'A dotterel.'

'A what?'

'Oh I shall tell you one day, sweetheart… Now I must take you in hand. Milady Formal, let us dispense with this Captain Jukes of yours. I shall have to compose a book of etiquette and print it for you. It will go thus: When a Lady hath lain the whole night with a Gentleman, making love together until they can no longer move, it is expected that the said Lady shall call the said Gentleman by his name!'

'Gideon.'

'Better.'

'Gideon…' Juliana rolled on her side — with a groan for he was right about movement being difficult. She kissed him on the forehead. 'Gideon…' She kissed him again, on the eyes, the nose, the chin, the lips, each time saying his name over. 'Gideon.'

'All this is good!'

'I believe I had called you so before.' She had indeed, while so desperate in passion that even the memory of it made her face colour up.

'Oh so you did!' chortled Gideon, lasciviously reminding her. Seriousness overcame him, however. His voice dropped into tenderness. So much had been left unspoken last night that delicate negotiation seemed required. 'Now shall I take myself off? Must I?' They were entwined like ancient ropes of bindweed and Gideon made no move to unravel himself. 'Then if I leave you, may I come again?'

'I hope you will.'

'When shall I come? When, dear heart?'

'Whenever you like,' Juliana answered, being completely honest. She had nothing to lose by it, she thought — and everything to gain. 'My house is yours,' she told Gideon then, more than ever full of gratitude to Mr Gadd that he had given her this gift, a house that was all hers, with no obligation to respect the feelings of anybody but herself. She could not have said it if this had ever been her family home with Lovell.

Gideon, too, had his moment of absolute truth: 'If you give me this freedom, I shall never leave. I love you and long for your company'

'Death and disaster wait around every corner,' Juliana said. 'Let us not waste any of our lives.'

Gideon gave her a slow but cheeky London grin. 'I could court you,' he offered.

'You have done that.'

'Yes, it seems I have.'

'If formalities are needed, I could seduce you!'

'That too,' answered Gideon dryly, 'would appear to be superfluous.'

So they began their lives together. Gideon returned to the print shop later that day — much later — and gravely informed Miles that the business of the embroidery book would necessitate additional work with the client.

'How long?' asked Miles, a perfectly professional query. He was a romantic, and had already sensed the crackle of interest between his master and Mistress Juliana Lovell, yet from what he knew of Gideon he did not suppose anything had been done about it. Gideon's cheerful reply made his jaw drop.

'About forty years, God willing.' Gideon paused. 'Fifty, if she wants an index!'

Juliana did not wonder how she would explain this to her children or to Catherine. Catherine already had a personal debt to Gideon; she viewed him kindly. Tom and Val had been brought up with the kind of strict French discipline Juliana had known herself from her grandmother. Although she expected stressful moments, a lone mother did not beg for forgiveness that she had found new comfort for herself and a provider for her family. As soon as she knew for sure that she had lost her husband, Juliana would be expected to remarry. She was still not thirty. Supplying a stepfather was her social duty. Placing herself in the protection of another man was her proper role.