Her mind in turmoil, Juliana tried to understand: first, that Orlando had been here — here — and second, that he had lured away Thomas. Terrifying Catherine, Orlando had made clear threats of what would happen if they tried to get Tom back. Juliana saw there could be no advantage in having a twelve-year-old boy at his heels. But he regarded Tom as his property. Snatching Tom was also a weapon against her. It showed that Orlando still governed her life; he could harm her just as easily and carelessly as he might have once done good.
Lovell had always treated her well, when he was present. Though he gave the impression he could be a wife-beater or otherwise dissolute, Juliana knew he wanted to look virtuous. He had chosen her in the first place because she had no means to threaten him — neither family, money, influence, nor even the kind of beauty that attracts attention — while he knew she was tenacious enough to stand up to life, with him or alone. In the King's court at Oxford, possessing a wife and family had made Lovell appear stable and reliable, better than a mercenary. Juliana's friendship with Nerissa provided an entree to royal circles; later, his young family gave Orlando a lever with the Compounding Committee, even perhaps with his father. She guessed he might hope that she and the boys could be his cover now, in whatever schemes he had.
Until Sir Lysander Pelham sent him into Kent, Orlando had seemed generally content. Juliana knew, however, that there was another side. Obtaining a wife's affection meant very little to him. He expected his dues, on his terms. Their contract was supposed to be for his advantage. Anyone who tried to get the better of him might find his reaction vicious.
'Thomas is in no danger. Tom is his own boy…' As Gideon tried to reassure her, Juliana only became even more anxious. She hoped that the charm Tom could deploy if he wanted to — especially with strangers — would help him gain his father's liking and so preserve him. But then Gideon was wrong; there was a danger: Tom might be won over to Lovell's ways and Lovell's thinking. Her boy would certainly be changed. Even if they ever managed to fetch him back, the Tom Juliana had loved and nurtured was permanently lost to her.
Gideon took Catherine out to show just where Tom went missing. 'Stay here — Juliana, stay here! Someone must be in the house, sweetheart — ' Gideon dropped his voice. 'In case any word comes.'
There would be no word. Lovell would want her to suffer.
Catherine returned home alone eventually; Gideon, his apprentice and his brother stayed out searching.
Eventually Gideon came in, empty- handed. It was late, dark in the streets. Juliana had put Valentine to bed and cradled the new baby. Catherine had fled to her garret room, still weeping, and in fear that she would have the blame.
Gideon swallowed some of the food he found left out for him, then came stumbling to bed. Juliana was already lying rigid between the covers. He fell onto his side, turned away, two feet from her. He always slept on her right; he had chosen it to save pressure on his bad shoulder. It happened that Orlando had always lain to her left, so although Juliana had not consciously chosen to have a difference, it suited her. She and Gideon had never spent a night apart since the first time they were lovers. Quarrels between them were normally settled in the best way to end quarrels, by lovemaking. Tonight they were too exhausted, too shattered emotionally, and it would have been inappropriate.
Normally they slept close, always with a head or an arm touching, foot against shin or knee against knee. Often they fell asleep in each other's arms, or came together later. Always when they woke they turned to each other with tender greetings. Never had they been in bed like this, silent, for hour after hour, making no contact, each withdrawn into brooding and bitterness.
Juliana thought she had lost Gideon. She knew no way to break the impasse.
Only after many hours did she stop pretending that she was asleep. She moved a little. Then she heard Gideon turn towards her.
'What are we to do?' she whispered.
At first, Gideon only breathed a kind of rueful laugh. After longer reflection, he asked in a dead voice, "Will you go back to him?'
Juliana was amazed. 'No!' It had come out firm and fast. 'Will you leave me?'
'Never.' Gideon rolled towards her. 'I will not leave you, nor will I let anyone take you from me against your will.'
He gathered Juliana into his arms, where she shed a few tears against his neck, though her weeping was brief, for she knew that too much lay ahead of them to take any solace yet.
After a while she confessed that she had never really believed Orlando had died. Then Gideon sighed and admitted he too had never relied on it. He even had a plan, that if Lovell ever reappeared, they would emigrate to Massachusetts. Gideon had obtained details of how to take a ship, long lists of the items that colonists should carry out to America, a secret savings chest…
They could not go while Thomas was missing. Juliana would never leave without him.
'Well, I, for sure,' Gideon declared, 'would not have had my life any other way than this. Nor will I change it now — so we must face out events.'
Juliana would not be the first woman who had left one husband to live with another, whatever the law said and however much the public enjoyed railing against such behaviour. 'I care nothing for my own notoriety, but I do not want our daughter to be stigmatised as a bastard.'
Gideon replied sadly, 'Celia will not be the first daughter of mine to have that distinction.' Celia was the name Juliana had given to the infant. Even after just one day, this puckered, red little creature exerted a greater tug on Gideon's heart than poor baby Harriet had ever managed.
That was when Juliana decided to say, 'Catherine told me once what happened to her sister.'
Gideon growled. 'Everybody knows but me!'
'Oh I think you do know, sweetheart… When she was working at Elizabeth Bevan's house, your great-uncle would follow the poor girl everywhere. He hung at her heels, so she could hardly do her work. Elizabeth his wife was very great with child and I suppose did not welcome her husband's attentions. So he threw the girl upon the bed one day and forcibly enjoyed her; when she cried out, he bade her hush, saying he was her master and paid her wages, so could do as he wished. Once Lacy fell pregnant, Elizabeth searched for signs, and questioned her.'
'I always suspected Bevan was the culprit. Perhaps it had happened before,' Gideon speculated. 'Perhaps he was known for meddling with the servants.'
'It seems likely. Catherine says the Bevans kept Lacy away from her family; they promised to arrange a marriage, saying it would prevent ruin — though it was for their own protection, clearly'
Gideon nodded in the darkness. He was bitter. 'They concealed the scandal, saved Bevan's reputation — and saved themselves the costs, if Lacy had named him the father.'
He wanted to think he could have shown Lacy more tolerance, and her baby more love. But given a choice, with a young man's hardheartedness, he would have spurned the marriage. Had he been certain that Lacy's child was not his own, he would have refused to rear her. Lacy must have always realised it.
Providence had granted him second chances. So despite all Orlando Lovell's threats, in deference to Juliana and in fear for her son, Gideon made up his mind not to inform against Lovell.
However, his brother intervened. Lambert had developed a special liking for Tom Lovell. He had even been mulling hopes to offer Tom an apprenticeship as a grocer. After he was called by Gideon to help in the search, Lambert marched to the Tower of London where he reported, to Sir John Barkstead, Colonel Orlando Lovell's presence in London, together with his probable designs against the city and the government.