ANDY shoves REBUS and REBUS suddenly has him pinned against the wall.
REBUS You think I couldn’t push you through this wall, Andy? Now you listen. First thing, you’re moving out. Give notice, get going, I don’t care where you go to peddle your sad wee packets of skunk but you’ll take it off my stair and if I see you even put your nose round the door I’ll have you in a cell before you’ve a chance to sniff.
ANDY I’m not dealing...
REBUS (shaking him) Are you packing your bags?
ANDY Yes.
REBUS Good. And I’ll let you. Once you give me Heather’s number.
ANDY I don’t...
His tone is suddenly more subdued.
ANDY I don’t phone her. She phones me. Number withheld.
REBUS Smart girl.
He’s on the move.
REBUS Start packing.
ANDY goes back into his flat, REBUS moves into—
Rebus’s Arden Street flat
CAFFERTY is sitting in his chair, watching the door. A moment as REBUS takes this in.
REBUS Ghosts.
CAFFERTY Don’t believe in them.
REBUS I’ve spent half the day chasing them.
CAFFERTY So I heard.
REBUS You’ve changed your number.
CAFFERTY I have. Don’t you want to know how I got in?
REBUS Doesny take a master criminal. And I’ve nothing to steal.
CAFFERTY holds up keys.
CAFFERTY You’ll be needing these back.
REBUS No. I’m thinking of changing the locks.
CAFFERTY Reckon that’ll stop me?
REBUS Just ring the bell Big Ger. Mi casa, su casa, all that.
CAFFERTY I’ve no even had the offer of a cup of tea yet. What kind of a welcome is that?
REBUS There’s no milk.
CAFFERTY holds up a half pint.
CAFFERTY Looks like I’m a better detective than you Strawman.
REBUS I’ll put the kettle on.
REBUS leaves the room. CAFFERTY is prowling, inspecting it.
CAFFERTY No been here for a while. Nothing’s changed though eh? No even the dust.
REBUS (off) Canny get the staff.
CAFFERTY I could recommend a couple of great women. Nae stour too hard to lift.
REBUS Scrubbing bloodstains out of Persian rugs?
CAFFERTY Nothing like that. Everything clean and sparkling in my world John, that’s the way I like it.
REBUS is back on.
REBUS So I’m off your Christmas card list am I? What did I do? Something really annoying I hope...
CAFFERTY It was time.
REBUS Time for what?
CAFFERTY We’ll get to that. Why did you want to get hold of me?
REBUS Wanted to ask you something.
CAFFERTY About the Mordaunt trial?
REBUS Among other things.
CAFFERTY You lot have taken your time eh? Twenty-five years to finally get that poisonous arse wipe in the dock again.
REBUS You’re looking forward to a result then?
CAFFERTY (ignoring the question) Twenty-five years. 1992 eh? John Major, royal divorces, Ravenscraig closes for good, IRA bombs... You could still see over your own belly. You could probably still run upstairs back then, eh John? Let’s get in the mood. You got any music from 1992?
REBUS Nothing to your taste.
CAFFERTY I’m going to tell you something now that’ll surprise you.
REBUS Should I record it?
CAFFERTY I’ve always been a bit of a Sheena Easton fan. You got any Sheena Easton?
REBUS Strangely enough I haven’t.
CAFFERTY Now there’s a woman with the X Factor. I met her once. On a chat show.
REBUS She was promoting her new album. You were promoting your memoir of murder and mayhem...
CAFFERTY You read it yet?
REBUS Do you need to ask?
CAFFERTY Keeps me in fine wine and classy company John. Did I tell you I’ve got a wine cellar now? A wine room to be accurate. Temperature controlled environment.
REBUS Stops the bodies decomposing does it?
CAFFERTY Wine is an investment, John. Something you should have considered before they kicked you into touch. Still, some of this old vinyl’s worth a bit these days they tell me.
REBUS You canny put a price on memories.
CAFFERTY True. And we’ve got our share eh John? 1992. Not a year I remember so well as it turned out. I was in intensive care for a bit of it.
REBUS But Mordaunt paid for that.
CAFFERTY And now it’s time for him to pay for the rest of it. We should have a proper drink to that eh?
REBUS I’m pacing myself these days.
CAFFERTY You’re no fun these days John, that’s the truth. Will you go to the trial?
REBUS I don’t know.
CAFFERTY I’ll be there. There’s a fascination eh? Staring at a man you know is a piece of pure evil. Don’t look at me like that, I never killed any civilians. And I wouldn’t even breathe the same air as a sick wee bastard like Mordaunt. Useless plumber as well. I ended up with raw sewage leaking into the jacuzzi. Subsidence my arse. Wee scumbag barely knew how to lag a pipe.