Cooper rubbed his temples, “My God. I opened a Pandora’s box, didn’t I? What have I done?”
Silence from around the table confirmed his fears. A chill ran down his spine. Angela circled the table to come to his side. She put her arm around him.
“You only did what you thought best, at the time you did it. You can’t blame yourself.”
Cooper thought for a moment and then looked at her, “Really? Would you say the same thing to Julianne?”
“That’s different!” Her eyes were sharp, angry. Julianne looked up tentatively, while keeping her head resting on her arms.
“Is it? She did what she thought best given the information she had at the time she did it.”
Angela thrust her hands into the air, “Christ, Cooper! Why do you defend her so?”
“It’s not about her, it is just logic. If the Brushfire’s blood is on her hands then…”
Lily’s soft voice cut him off, “He’s right. If that blood is on her hands, then any blood spilled because of Cooper telling the world the truth is on his hands. Or, their hands are both washed clean by the cleansing power of forgiveness.”
“You’re both impossible!” Angela fumed as she strode out of the kitchen.
Cooper saw the expectant look on Julianne’s eyes, “Don’t look to me. I think we’re both guilty as sin for what we done. Good intentions don’t change a damned thing.”
The hope faded from her face, as quickly as it had sprouted, “You’re right,” she mumbled. She rose slowly from the table and almost stumbled out the back door into the yard. Cooper reasoned she did not want to take the same path as Angela and risk meeting up with her.
He turned to Dranko and Lily, “Well, isn’t this a horrible mess?”
Lily snorted, “It’s what my people would call a fine fiddled mess. I’d add it’s also balancing just so on a hungry bear’s nose.”
“You sure have a way of putting it, Lily, I’ll give you that,” Dranko stated flatly.
“Let me see if I’ve been keeping score in this game. Point one, the Chinese may, at this very moment, be conducting some semi-covert invasion of America and our own leaders can’t, or won’t, tell us if its heads or tails. Point two, I’m a no good liar which every red-blooded American is looking for. Point three, me telling the world the truth might just set off World War Three. Oh, and point four is that said war might be happening when there are already 1.2 billion dead?”
Dranko crossed his arms and grunted his agreement.
“You forgot two points, dad,” Jake offered from his perch on the kitchen counter. He had been so quite up until that moment, Cooper had forgotten he was even in the room. He twisted his body back to see him.
“And, what’s that?”
“Point five, the plague has stopped killing people. And, point six, you made me smile again.” His voice choked on the last words. Cooper felt his heart in his throat and a smile beamed across the room. He got up fast, nearly toppling the chair, and plucked Jake off the counter and lifted him into the air. Jake squealed with delight.
“Stop! Stop! Put me down,” he yelled as Cooper twirled him around in the air. Cooper ignored his pleas and kept spinning in fast, tight, circles. Lily wore a wide grin and Dranko started chuckling.
“I’m gonna be sick,” Jake moaned.
That stopped Cooper in an instant. He plopped him back onto the floor, steadying him as Jake swayed. He looked straight at him, “Thank you, Jake. You reminded me that no matter how bad things look, there’s always something good, too.”
“You taught me that dad!”
“Really? How?”
“I’ve just watched you keep setting Dranko straight and figured it was my turn!”
“Ouch! That hurt,” Cooper said, pantomiming a dart hitting him in the back.
“Welcome to the dark side,” Dranko said in a voice mimicking Darth Vader. He paused, resuming in his regular tone, “And, let me be clear. By dark, I mean realistic and objective.”
Cooper mocked him with a deep bow, “Of course, master of reality. Please humor us fools with our heads stuck up our…” He shot Jake a playful wink.
“Arses!” Jake yelped in an English accent, which he was very fond of impersonating.
Dranko stared at them, feigning annoyance. Cooper and Jake looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders in exaggerated innocence. Cooper couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a playful moment with his son. It warmed his heart and he ached to hold onto it. He managed to pull Jake into playing cards and they exchanged some laughs while playing Crazy Eights. When lunch was made, it pulled them back to their stark reality.
Lily and Dranko had boiled water and made a bounty of pasta. They had found only random condiments and a few dented cans of food left in the house, so they had to use their own supplies. Cooper had looked at the different muddy footprints about the house and how disheveled everything looked to guess this home had been picked over multiple times already. Dranko had taken what little remained.
As they gathered to eat, Cooper eyed Jake numbly chomping his noodles. There was no sauce on them. Scattered drops of oil adorned them, as did scant specks of salt and pepper. They couldn’t afford the weight of sauce in their supplies. To say it was the blandest bowl of noodles Cooper had ever eaten would have been an understatement.
“These are yucky,” Jake complained.
Cooper gave him a sharp look, “It’s not polite to criticize food someone else has made for you.”
Lily laughed, “I’m not offended. I know this tastes drier than a cactus planted in hell. But, you know what, boy?” Her gaze stiffened as her eyes burned into Jake’s.
“What,” he gulped.
“I bet there are a lot of folks that are going hungry right now.”
Jake’s easy smile returned and he rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Dad’s told me about the poor kids in other countries a million times.”
Lily’s continued, unblinking, “I’m not talking about other countries.”
“Huh?”
“Really. I’m talking about kids here. In Oregon. Kids in Portland. Kids you went to school with. Hungry.”
Jake’s face went white and his smile collapsed.
“That’s right, Jake. We’re just over two weeks since the grocery stores were picked clean. Far too many Americans have, at most, two weeks of food in their homes. That’s all gone now.” Cooper added.
“That includes people scavenging the homes of the dead,” Dranko piled on. Cooper gave him a sharp look.
“Well, I’ve read places that Portland always has at least one ship full of grain in dock that can feed the city for a year,” Dranko stumbled, trying to soften what he’d just said.
“Oh,” was all Jake said. Then, he fell back into eating his spaghetti. After several more mouthfuls, he spoke once more, “These don’t taste too bad. You get used to it.”
The adults around the table exchanged knowing smiles.
After dinner, they gathered in the home’s living room. Angela was outside, patrolling the area and keeping a lookout. Freddie was awake, reclining on a sofa in the corner of the room. Lily had made everyone tea, as they’d decided what coffee they had left would only be brewed in the mornings. The group sat in silence for a long time, each left to their own thoughts. The mood slowly descended to an oppressive one. Cooper watched it for a while, sipping the weak tea. Once again, his father’s words came to him: when in crisis, don’t let others descend into despair.