Blake! Wedding! I jump up from my seat.
“Harlow, we need to get going! We’re going to be so late! Nancy already took the girls, right?”
“Yeah, she took them about thirty minutes ago. They needed to get there early for the pictures, remember?” My eyebrows press together in confusion.
“Then why did you lock the bathroom door when you came in earlier?” I ask. Harlow shrugs her shoulders.
“I don’t know. It just seemed like the right thing to do.” I shake my head and laugh under my breath.
“You’re ridiculous.” Taking one last long look in the mirror, I smooth out the top of my dress and let out a calming breath as my hands glide easily over the lace overlay, find their way to the rose colored satin sash that encircles my waist, and come to rest on my stomach. Okay…I’m having a baby. I give myself a reassuring nod. I can do this. I cast a glance down to my tummy.
“Alright, little lovebug. Let’s go tell your daddy.”
After a last minute stop to pick up Blake’s new wedding present, Harlow and I are finally on our way to the wedding. Fashionably late. But seeing as though Harlow is the one responsible for getting me there, I’m pretty sure it’s expected.
As my dear friend finds her solace in singing horribly off key to a classic Celine Dion song, I tune her out, disappearing into my own happy place. Extending my fingers, I gaze down at the beautiful teardrop solitaire engagement ring that was placed on my left ring finger merely a month ago. As the memory replays itself in my mind, I’m once again looking into those beautiful light green eyes while Blake delivers the speech that forever captured my heart…
“Alex. I love you. It’s always been you. Your eyes, your lips, your smile, your spirit, your humor, even your God awful temper,” he breaks with a slight chuckle. “Every single part of you has been and always will be my reason for living. I know our paths went separate ways for a very long time, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t know why and I’m not going to pretend that I do or that I ever will. But what I do know for certain is now that I have you, I’m never, ever going to let you go again. You are mine. Without you, I am nothing.” I watch as he kneels to the ground and reaches forward to wrap his fingers around my wrist, his eyes holding mine the entire time. With his thumb now in the center of my hand, he gently pushes it back, exposing my palm. I feel the pressure as he slides his thumb up towards my relaxed fingers, holding my hand in place. Breaking my stare, he shuts his eyes as he leans forward and places a tender, lingering kiss right in the palm of my hand. After probably the most sensual palm kiss in the history of palm kisses, his loving eyes once again find mine. “Alex, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”
“Jesus! Is it ‘National Fucking Take Your Sweet Ass Time Day’? Why the hell didn’t I get the memo? Assholes!” Harlow yells to no one and everyone at the same time, bringing me out of my blissful memory and back to reality where I apparently have taken up company with a bat out of hell.
“Hello! Harlow! Baby on board here!” I yell over poor Celine. If she only knew how her song had just been mercilessly butchered.
“Oh. My. God. Using the pregnancy card already? You’re, like, two seconds pregnant.”
Harlow gives me her usual annoyed glare, and I laugh not at the look on her face, but at all the fun I’m going to have when she gets knocked up. She has absolutely no idea.
“Well, I would like to live to three seconds pregnant…think you can manage that? I don’t know why you’re freaking out. It’s not like they can start without me. So, calm your ass down and breathe. We’re almost there anyway.”
I feel the car begin to slow and watch as Harlow’s coloring returns to normal. “I know. I’m sorry.” She slams her hands down on the steering wheel and my heart jumps back into my throat.
Jeez—I don’t think I can take much more today.
“It’s just… I’m so excited! And nervous! And excited!” She turns to me with such an enormous smile on her face that it actually frightens me. I point my finger at the windshield, signaling for her to keep her damn eyes on the road, and to stop looking at me because she’s freaking me out. She continues with her excited, but nervous explosion of words.
“Alex, you’re getting married! To Blake! And you’re having another baby! With Blake! Can you believe it? The girls are going to go nuts! Ohmygod! What if it’s a boy?” She once again looks at me, eyes widened. “What if it’s a boy, Alex?” And then…she bursts out into laughter.
Typical.
“Do you even know what to do with a boy? Like, how to clean them properly? You know, down there? Under…there?” She scrunches her face like Rylie does when I try to make her eat her vegetables.
“Harlow, I think I’ll be fine. Many, many mothers have been able to handle having boys. Plus, that’s why I have Blake. I’m sure he knows all that stuff.”
“Well, I should hope he does!” Harlow barely squeaks out before we both break into a fit of the giggles upon finally reaching our destination. Coming to a stop, our laughter dies down. With the car in park and the ignition off, we turn to one another with smiles on our faces, both of which seem to be touched with a bit of sadness. It feels as though we’re saying goodbye. Not to each other necessarily, but to certain aspects of our friendship. Particularly the unhealthy and dysfunctional parts…like her need to take care of me and my need to use her as a crutch to get through life. It’s my time to move on with Blake and her time to live without constantly worrying about my welfare. Even though this is a good thing for both of us, it’s still closing the door to those parts of our lives.
I reach out, gathering Harlow’s hands in mine before I speak. “Thank you. For everything. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I wouldn’t have made it through the loss of Derek without you. You’ve practically raised my children with me, and you know, I think we did a pretty damn good job.” Feeling the tears gather in my eyes, I try to swallow them back. This really shouldn’t be a sad time, for either of us, but knowing she’s doing the same makes them rather difficult to contain.
“We did,” she responds with a swipe, removing the moisture on her cheek. “I’m kind of proud of us, actually. Who would have thought we could be such great parents? But it’s time, Alex, for both of us. It will be different, but…better.” She squeezes my hands gently, breaking the dam holding back my tears. So many times over the last three years she has given me that same tender gesture…willing me her strength when I had none, telling me she loved me when I needed to hear it, demonstrating her unfaltering support when doubting myself.
Different…but better.
Releasing our hands, we pull each other into a tight embrace. “I love you, Harlow.”
“Love you too, hun,” she lets out a sigh, “but, if you mess up my artistry on your face, I’m gonna have to downgrade that to a strong like.” I let her go as we begin to laugh, and just like that…no more tears. Quite a few sniffles, but no more tears.
“Well, you ready?” she asks me after a few seconds.
Right at that moment, I happen to glance over her shoulder, catching my first glimpse of Blake. With Rylie on his hip and Kyndall holding his hand, he confidently makes his way over to where Nycole and my parents are standing. After placing Rylie on the ground, he shakes my father’s hand and flashes them his devastatingly beautiful smile, making my heart melt.