Sharon knew what she was trying to do. Beth was trying to remind her of all the pleasurable nights they had spent in adult play. All the times she had screamed in ecstasy when she experienced the whip in all its glory. She was trying to remind her of all the sex games they had played over the years, fulfilling each other’s fantasies and holding on to each other for support and comfort. This would never be again, and Beth knew it. It was a desperate attempt to keep her. It wasn’t going to work.
“No, Beth. Not now.”
“On your knees, bitch,” Beth began.
“Come on, Beth. You know as well as I that things must change.”
Beth couldn’t keep it up. She sat on the bed and wept uncontrollably. “He took you, didn’t he? He took you away.”
“No, Beth. It was time for me to go to him. Dan took nothing.” Sharon went to comfort her. She noticed that she had lost all feeling for the woman. Everything was gone. Their past was now only a memory. “We both have to move on.”
Anger began to well up in Beth. “Oh fuck! I can’t believe that I could be so stupid. I can’t believe that I talked myself into thinking that you and I could spend the rest of our lives together. I always knew a man would get you. You’re too beautiful. Fucking men.”
“No, Beth, it was me. Just me. You were right. I couldn’t make up my mind, and now I know. What we had was special, but I have to follow who I am.”
Beth had worried all night about this moment. She found now that it was easier to surrender than to hold on. “Fine,” she said. “If you have happiness elsewhere, I don’t want to be in the way.”
Sharon tried to hug her and received no response. “I’ve just got to pack a few things for now.”
“It’s already done,” Beth said between her tears. “I put a few things in a bag for you. I guess I’ve seen this coming for a long time.”
“You know me better than anyone.”
“Don’t you forget it.” She tried to sound upbeat but couldn’t. “Just take the bag and go. We’ll work out the rest later.”
Sharon found the suitcase and began to leave. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” replied Beth. “Something. Get out of this leather I guess would be a good start. You?”
“I’ll stay at a hotel for a few days until I can find an apartment.”
“You’re not going to move in with him?”
“It’s not like that. I need to be free, to finally decide who to be.”
Beth couldn’t think of anything else to say. She wanted Sharon to leave. It was over. “Good luck. Call?”
“I will.” Then she left.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Destructive Reasoning
“Mr. President, you can have it both ways.” Levi knew that the man was ready to listen to anything. The situation was uncomfortable for the president mainly because he knew more about what was happening than the Russians. It was an ethics conflict that he was trying to resolve by fooling himself that he was putting the good of the nation first.
After the meeting in the Pentagon, the president requested Levi, Dan, and Sukudo to accompany him to his office in the White House. There was little talk in the car. Dan saw firsthand how the president’s top officials reacted with their boss. They all wanted to wait, he thought. No one wanted to put the United States in a situation that could be misconstrued as war. For them it was better to stand on the side and see what would happen next. Even if it meant that a nuclear bomb might wipe out Moscow. This was appalling to him.
Now the four of them sat in the Oval Office. It was obvious the president wanted more. With all the options he had received, he still wanted more. An option that was without risk. “Mr. Carp. There was a time when your opinion about this matter carried the most weight. I now have a problem with formulating my decisions completely on your word.”
“I can understand that, Mr. President, but who could have foreseen what Stemovich was going to do in the future? Nobody could have predicted his course of action. We thought we had him, given the available information. We heard the plan from Stemovich’s own mouth, for Christ’s sake. No one knew he had a hidden agenda.”
Dan had been glancing at Sukudo as Levi spoke. Kenneth was acting very peculiar. He had a smirk on his face as he listened to Levi’s explanation. If one man could have guessed the hidden agenda, it might have been Sukudo, thought Dan. What was he going to gain if he put out that conjecture so many nights ago? He remembered the conversation they had before in the White House hallway after the first meeting with the president.
Levi continued. He was steady in his manner, which made his idea even more convincing. “This is the perfect opportunity to do nothing. If Stemovich fails, good for everyone. If he doesn’t… then very good for us. We get back to the Cold War. Not only do we spend money on firing up the huge defense industry, but our allies and some new allies begin buying our weapons to defend themselves. Remember, the Soviet Union was carved up. If Stemovich comes to power, he may want those satellite countries back. My guess will be that they won’t want to return. Need we remember the Ukraine.” He raised his finger to accentuate the point.
The president again considered it seriously.
Dan couldn’t be silent anymore. “That is the perspective of a complete idiot.” With those words, he sealed the poor relationship he had with Levi. It was time to draw lines and see exactly where everyone stood, even the president. “Yes, Mr. President, you could do nothing, and when a warhead slams into Moscow, the whole world will jump. The French have at least eighteen ICBMs pointed somewhere over in that region. They may mistake what is going on and let their tiny but lethal arsenal go. Or what about all the Russian missiles resting in silos in the Balkans? Someone could punch a button down there, and who knows what would be destroyed? There are more players involved here than us. That means we can’t take any chances. We must sink Stemovich at the first opportunity and come clean with the Russians. We have the most sophisticated fucking navy in the whole world, so let’s use it!” Dan delivered his statement with passion and fire. The tone and tenacity with which he preached almost put the president out of his chair.
Then the president came to Sukudo. “You’ve been here since the beginning, Kenneth. What is your opinion?”
Dan drowned in a moment of elation. Finally the president was going to listen to reason. So when Sukudo spoke, Dan wasn’t ready for his words.
“I’d wait. Let Russia live in turmoil. As long as they fight among themselves, we won’t be threatened. Neither will we return to the fifties, sixties, or seventies, where we sat on the brink of a world nuclear holocaust. Keep their attention focused within their borders. We have bigger problems looming — China.”
Dan not only felt betrayed by the man, but he had taken the conversation to a new level. “What?”
The president inquisitively shifted in his chair. “China is a bigger problem?”
“It’s simple.” Sukudo acted as if he was a teacher ready to reveal a secret. “Even if Stemovich were to take over the Russian government, the country will never be as powerful as it once was. China is now our big threat — militarily and economically. They have been left unchecked for years. It’s only a matter of time before they get to be as good as us. Let this situation play itself out. I doubt there will be another missile. I know it sounds reckless in the immediate future, but we have to look at long-term goals. An incident like this could throw the Chinese into paranoia and switch their focus from the West to Russia. China has stepped too far away from basic communist principles to ever return; they can’t. China is where our caution should really be placed.”