I didn’t know what she was talking about. Her words stumbled, her cheeks flamed red with anger and shame and I wanted like hell to believe her.
“Charlie’s dad...he was planning on having internment camps set up. Ordering executions. He called it natural order. Starting over. Razing the bad and keeping the good.”
And when was this going to happen?
She paused for a second, touched the corner of her mouth nervously with her tongue. “It’s already started.”
Over my head
Jessa
When I’d discovered the plans, completely by accident a month earlier, I hadn’t believed what I’d been hearing. I’d stumbled into the war room—as the tiny, closed space was called—and I’d been watching the cameras, eager for a glimpse at the outside world I hadn’t been allowed to see for myself in more than a year. When I’d heard Charlie’s dad and other members of the cabinet coming, I’d hidden, because I didn’t want to get in trouble or embarrass Charlie any further. Already there had been talk that his marrying me was a grave mistake, that I wasn’t the kind of woman prepared for the politics of the brave new world.
Looking back, I wasn’t sure if this had all been a setup from the start, if Charlie already knew I liked going in there. If he’d left the door unlocked purposely to set me up.
And if Charlie was in on that plan, was anyone else? My parents?
“I hadn’t been allowed outside at all for a year, because they’d been doing their eradication of problem areas for that long. No one else was supposed to know. We were on total lockdown and told it was because it was too dangerous. It was dangerous because the people our fathers were trying to kill were rebelling.”
Mathias was staring at me, his dark eyes full of the understanding I’d craved. He believed me. His hand gripped mine again, a solid caress. His arm went around my back to pull me close. It was only minutes later I realized it had been to stop me from collapsing, because the revelation I’d spilled had me shaking.
“I wish you didn’t have to know that.”
Can’t unknow it.
“That’s why I’m in so much trouble.” I knew he’d tell Bishop—he had to. They were nearly the same person, and then Bishop would have to run too.
We’ve got to tell Caspar and the others.
“No.” I pushed away from him violently and he let me. “I won’t do that. Bad enough that Charlie’s dad knows he’s being held here.”
We’re already a target for what you’re telling me Charlie’s father is doing. Defiance deserves to be prepared.
God, I hadn’t thought of it that way. Maybe I’d been selfish holding this back, refusing to let Defiance prepare to defend itself against an onslaught. But there was no way to prepare, not for what I’d seen.
Jessa. Come here.
He was signing and I knew those signs, knew my name. Even if I didn’t, he got a certain look in his eyes when he wanted me to come to him—they darkened, his pupils taking over—and he seemed so steady and sure.
I did what he wanted, went back to him, laced my fingers into his—both hands—and we stood facing each other. Finally, he let go of one hand so he could sign to me, fast at first, and then slowly, until I understood.
You told me. It’s going to be all right.
“I was part of my own kidnapping. I brought this on myself.”
You thought you were going for help.
I had. It wasn’t until the LoV tied me up that I realized how badly I’d miscalculated everything. “My father said government needed to use the Chaos to their own advantage. That Charlie’s father approved, but he couldn’t be the one issuing the orders. That they had the chance to create a better place. And that they had the means to do so.”
If they had the means, then they could’ve made things easier during the past three years.
“Yes, they could’ve. The satellite they use is doing the bare minimum. Purposely.”
Survival of the fittest, Mathias mouthed as he signed. That’s what the old head of this MC used to call it.
“I told you that politics had a lot in common with MCs.” Being right was of small comfort though.
Think the president wants him back badly enough to leave Defiance alone?
“I think the second they get him back, they’ll try to destroy you.”
And that’s why he can’t go back.
I’d grown up in a world of politics, where rules were meant to be broken and everyone has a price. This time, the price was too high. I shuddered, not so much because I felt sorry for him, but because of how the world had changed for the worst. Charlie’s dad’s vision had disgusted me enough to leave my bubble and go with Charlie to seek help. But Charlie had never planned on going against his father’s wishes at all. He wanted to destroy the people he deemed subversive and dangerous to the very nature of government. What he’d wanted to destroy was me, because I threatened those plans.
“There’s no way the U.S. can hope to survive in any meaningful way unless it neutralizes its enemies. And our very worst enemies are those who seek to destroy us from within.” My father’s words, echoed by Charlie’s father.
“I won’t go back there. No matter what happens. You have to let me run, Mathias. It’s what’s best for Defiance.”
Not without me.
“You’d go with me?”
He nodded, like he was surprised I’d even ask. “But...”
He put a finger on my lips to stop me, signed as he mouthed, Me and Bish.
They were a package deal. Now I was part of that package. “I’ll be running forever. I can’t ask you to do that.”
Running is what Bish and I do best.
“But you want to settle here.”
He shrugged and I could see the struggle going on inside of him.
Putting down roots these days isn’t smart.
“But Defiance survived.”
He nodded as he contemplated that, then said, So will we.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I got the boys to make the noise
Mathias
“Keepin’ her here, it’s fucking crazy.”
Caspar was always blunt as hell. Normally, I appreciated it because it was close to the way I operated. Now, having to be told the truth I knew from the start wasn’t appreciated.
Bish put a hand on my shoulder, a reminder that talking to myself out loud was a mistake. Caspar could read my hands. We were mere hours post-fight. Keller had left the compound willingly. Easily, and maybe too much so. But we’d thrown down the gauntlet and the next move was his.
Defiance was ready for a fight, but I had an eerie feeling that fighting the way Defiance knew how to wouldn’t be enough this time.
It was Bish who said, “If we let her go with Charlie, we’ll still be in the same boat.”
Rebel added, “Unless we give them back and take no money.”
Charlie will never agree to say we saved them. Makes him look bad.
Caspar stared at me. “I never said anything about giving Charlie back.”
“Shit,” Bish muttered.
So you expect Jessa to go home and keep her mouth shut about that?