I don’t know how long I cry. I don’t know when my lungs give out. Eventually, I’m aware of the cool, hard concrete against my skin. Of my throat scraped raw and of the dried tears stiffening my face.
Tanner lies parallel to me, close but not touching. When I look at his face, he blinks, slowly, drowsily, as if he’s been watching me for a good long time.
And then, I feel it. The bond snaps. A severance so clean and thorough I know there’s no hope of resurrecting it. The bond that’s been with me ever since I was born, connecting me to my sister. The one Angela convinced me that I imagined, the one that became stronger than ever when I sent that memory into Callie’s mind.
The bond that connects Callie with our time.
I get on my hands and knees, but I can’t rise any farther. Like a newborn calf, my shaky limbs won’t support me, and I crash to the floor. “She’s really gone now. She’s dead.” As I say the words, the meaning crashes over me.
The. Abrupt. Stark. Finality. Of. It. All.
I can’t breathe. My lungs fold in on themselves, over and over. I can’t think. My mind detaches from my body and goes whirling into space, searching, seeking, chasing my sister through time. I can’t feel. My nerve endings blow up—and die. Like Callie. Like every good thing left in this world.
Tanner scoops me up and settles me on his lap, cradling me like a baby. A few thoughts flash across my brain. I hate him. He’s my enemy. He killed my sister.
At this moment, I’m too broken to care.
“I know it feels hard right now,” he murmurs. “I know it feels unbearable, like you’ll never survive. That’s how I felt, too, when my parents were killed. I didn’t think I could go on. But I did. Time passes. You take one breath and then the next. The moment disappears, and the next one arrives, and you’re still here. There’s honor in that. Simply enduring.”
I close my eyes and keep them closed. Because that’s what life without Callie feels like.
Dull. Dark. Dead.
32
The hologram clock is no longer in the air. The big red numbers no longer count down. I destroyed that security feature with a single slam of my fist. Eventually, though, the time runs out, and the door slides open. We are free to go.
I stare at the open door, and if a shred of my soul remained, I might’ve laughed. Just like that? We’re held prisoners for a few hours, my sister dies, and now, we can roam the hall as we please. Go home, if we have any place left to call home.
Clearly, we’re not going to do that. Clearly, we have some place else to go first.
I turn and meet Tanner’s eyes.
“Her body might not be there anymore.” His voice is low and cautious, as if too heavy a tone might break me. “Dresden probably dispatched someone to dispose of her as soon as the bond was severed.”
“I have to see.” The tears cling to my eyelashes like goopy mascara. “In case she’s still there, I have to pay my respects. That’s something Logan and I never got to do before. I need to do this now.”
He nods, his face soft. “Of course you do. Let’s go.”
I follow him out of the cell, and we retrace our steps back to the subterranean corridor. I shouldn’t let him lead me anywhere. I should spit in his face. He betrayed me. He killed my sister.
But my rage has disappeared into the same dimension as my laughs. He didn’t mean to hurt you, a voice inside me says. Tanner Callahan isn’t a murderer. All he’s guilty of is being an overly enthusiastic scientist. It’s Dresden who’s evil. Not him.
I rub my temples. I can’t…think…right now. I can’t untangle my triple-knotted emotions. I’m too…tired. I wish I could close my eyes and sleep for a million years. And I will, as soon as I say good-bye to my sister. For the very last time.
We walk to the secured door. For a moment, I’m dizzy with déjà vu—but this time, when Tanner scans his retinas, there are no flashing lights and no blaring alarms. There’s only a reassuring click that grants us access into the room.
He holds open the door, momentarily blocking my path with his arm. “Are you ready for this?”
I take a deep breath. “Don’t…come in with me. I need a few minutes with her. Alone.”
“I’ll wait right here. If you need anything, just call, okay? I’m not leaving here without you.”
And I’m not leaving here with him. But I don’t have enough energy to argue, so I nod wearily and go inside. As before, the darkness swallows me, but there’s a light gleaming from the far corner of the room. The very last pod in the very first row. My sister’s body.
Preston must already be here. Tanner told me the machines are programmed to alert him when Callie’s vitals enter dangerous territory. He was probably with her when she passed.
It is a comfort—albeit a small one—that Callie wasn’t alone in her final moments.
I approach the lit-up pod. I’m still a dozen yards away when my skin prickles. My pupils dilate. Every part of my body is on high alert. Something’s wrong.
Preston sits, with his head bent over my sister’s body. But his hands aren’t clasped together, and he’s not praying to the Fates or otherwise. He’s not mourning her.
Instead, his hands are on her pulse, as though he’s checking it. I don’t understand. I whip my head to the machines, and there’s her heartbeat, steady and sure.
What? I stumble backward, my world on a merry-go-round that won’t stop, won’t slow. It just spins faster and faster until I might fall right off this dimension. How can this be?
My sister is still alive.
33
My mind whirls, so fast and hard that my jaw aches. I grip my head, but it’s not computing. My sister, alive. How? How? How?
I try to wet my mouth, but there’s no saliva. “I don’t understand,” I croak. “How come she’s not dead? I felt our bond sever. I felt it.”
Preston lowers my sister’s wrist. The impossible has happened, and yet he looks neither relieved nor joyful. Instead, his brows are creased, and his lips are tense. If I’m reading his eyes correctly, I’d say he’s…scared. But that can’t be right. Why would he be afraid?
“I told you Callie could only latch onto someone whose genetic thread was a psychic match.” His voice is soft, and I shouldn’t be able to hear him, not as well as I do. But the room is a cavern, and every word, every syllable pierces into my mind. “Your thread was the best match, since the two of you are twins. But there are other genetic threads. Other possible matches. Maybe they aren’t ideal, but in a pinch, they’ll work.”
I blink. “You mean my mom was here?”
“No, she wasn’t.”
My lungs contract. My mom is our only living relative. Our only genetic match. Unless…unless…
“There’s a third child,” I say breathlessly. “Another embryo we didn’t know about. I have another brother or sister?”
I rise onto my toes, about to take flight, but he shakes his head. “No, Jessa. You have no other siblings. Your mother only ever had two embryos in her womb, and you and Callie were it.”
I crash back down. “Who is it, then?”
“I…” He looks up, as if the answer’s etched into the ceiling.
I freeze. He’s always seemed familiar to me, although I’ve never been able to place him. This must be the reason.
Quickly, I cross to the computer terminal, understanding but not. I’ve watched Tanner enough times that I know exactly how to curve my fingers around the keyball. Exactly what sequence of keys to press.