It was shortly after her third birthday that Serena and Brad told her that she was going to have a little brother or sister, and she clapped her hands with delight and hurried upstairs to draw the new baby a picture. She made a picture of an elephant, which looked more like a dog, and Serena framed it and hung it in the nursery. This time the baby was due in August. And Teddy was already teasing her about it. He was graduating from medical school in June, and by then she would be seven months pregnant.
“And if you think I'm going to run off the stage at commencement and deliver a baby, lady, you're crazy. Besides, my rates have gone up since last time.” It was a family joke now that he had delivered her first baby, and she was only a little nervous that this time the baby might come quickly. The doctor had warned her that it could happen, and she had promised to stay close to home, and the phone, in the last two weeks of July and into the beginning of August.
Teddy was going back to New York in July after a brief trip around the West, and in August he was beginning his internship at Columbia Presbyterian in New York.
But the graduation itself was causing a great deal of excitement in the family. Everyone was coming out, his mother, and Greg and Pattie. His father had suffered a stroke and was too ill to be moved now, but everyone else would be there to see him get his diploma.
“Well, Doctor, excited?” Brad looked at his brother in his cap and gown the morning of the graduation and Teddy beamed. He was twenty-six now, and Brad was thirty-eight, but they both looked almost the same age. Brad still had a boyish quality about him, and Teddy had matured immensely at Stanford.
“You know, I just can't believe it. I'm actually—finally—going to be a doctor!”
“I knew that almost four years ago.” Together they smiled at each other in a few private moments during the tense family gathering at the ceremony. Margaret Fullerton had actually refused to acknowledge Serena at all, and Pattie was delighted. The only one unaware of the obvious hostility was Vanessa, and Teddy looked at her now with a familiar glow of pleasure.
“I love that kid so much.”
Brad smiled. “This time maybe she'll have a little brother.”
“You sure like to call the shots, don't you?” His brother teased and then Brad remembered something.
“Yeah. By the way, I'd like you to do me a favor.”
“Sure. What's up?” Teddy looked casually at his brother. It was rare that Brad asked him anything at all.
“I'm going overseas in a few days, just for a little advisory mission in Korea. I'd like you to keep an eye on the girls for me. You know, after last time I'm always afraid that if I leave for work and forget to call home she'll have the baby in twenty minutes on her way in with the groceries.”
“Nah, give her half an hour.” Teddy grinned for a minute, and then looked at his brother more seriously. “Will this mission be dangerous?” He had a sudden odd feeling about it. Brad was being unusually offhand, but he could see that his eyes were worried.
“I doubt it. We've had advisers over there for a little while. I just want to see how they're handling it. We're not really getting involved. We're just watching.” But watching what?
“For how long, Brad?” Teddy looked worried.
“I'll just be gone a few days.”
“I didn't mean that. I meant how long will we just be watching over there?”
“Awhile.” Brad sounded noncommittal, and then looked at his brother. “I have to be honest with you, Teddy. I think we're going to find ourselves in a war there. A damn strange one, I have to tell you, but that's what I think. I'm going to be reporting to the Pentagon on my findings.”
Teddy nodded. “Just take care, Brad.” The two brothers exchanged a long glance, and Brad patted his arm before going to tell Serena. “Not to worry, kid. Not to worry.”
But when he told his wife, he was startled at her reaction. Unlike her usual acceptance of whatever he did, this time she begged him not to go to Korea.
“But why? It's only for a few days, and the baby's not due for another two months.”
“I don't care!” She had shouted at first and then cried. “I just don't want you to go.”
“Don't be silly.” fie had brushed it off as pregnancy nerves but that night he heard her crying in the bathroom, and she begged him over and over again not to go and clung to him near hysterics. “I've never seen you like this, Serena.” He was actually worried. Maybe something else was wrong and she hadn't told him. But she insisted that wasn't the case.
“I've never felt like this. I can't explain it.”
“Then forget about it. Teddy'll be here, and I'll be back before you know it.” But Serena was panicked. She had a premonition that filled her with terror.
29
The morning that Brad left for Seoul, Serena felt unusually nervous. She had funny little cramps in her left side, the baby's feet had jabbed her all night. Vanessa had cried repeatedly at breakfast, and just before Brad left, Serena had to fight an almost overwhelming urge to burst into tears again, as she had ever since he had told her he was leaving. Again she wanted to beg him not to go, but surrounded by orderlies and assistants, and sergeants and brass, and Vanessa and Teddy, she didn't feel she could do it. He knew how she felt, and he had insisted he was going.
“Well, Doctor.” He shook hands with his brother. “Take care of my girls for me. I'll be back in a few days.” He was playing it down, after all the hysterics with Serena.
“Yes, Colonel.” Teddy's eyes were teasing, but nonetheless he looked worried. There was something about Brad going to Korea that made him desperately uncomfortable too. But like Serena, he felt that this was neither the place nor the time to discuss it.
Serena kissed Brad longingly on the mouth, and he teased her about her big belly. She was wearing a big flared blue gingham dress and sandals, and her soft blond hair hung down her back. She looked more like Alice in Wonderland than an expectant mother. Vanessa waved to her daddy as he went up the ramp, and a moment later the plane was high in the sky, and Teddy ushered them to the gate and drove them home. Serena took Vanessa upstairs for her nap, and came down a few minutes later, her eyes worried, her face strained, as it had been for days now.
“You okay?” She nodded, but she was strangely quiet, and then she decided to confide in Teddy.
“I'm so nervous, Teddy.”
He looked at her for a minute, wondering if he should tell her that he was too, but he decided against it. “I think he'll be fine.”
“But what if something happens?” Tears sprang to her eyes again and Teddy took her hand with an air of quiet confidence.
“He'll be fine. I just know it.”
But when the phone rang the next morning, Teddy had an eerie premonition as he sprang to answer it. He moved almost by reflex, as he did whenever he was called to the wards in school, but now as he held the phone he had a sudden urge to slam it down before he could hear anyone speak.
“Hello?”
“Is Mrs. Fullerton there?”
“She's still sleeping. May I help you?”
“Who is this?”
There was a pause. “Mr.—Doctor”—he smiled'—”Fullerton. I'm Colonel Fullerton's brother.” But the smile had already faded. He had a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Doctor.” The voice sounded grave. “I'm afraid we have bad news.” Teddy held his breath. Oh, God … no.… But the voice went relentlessly on, as Teddy felt nausea overwhelm him. “Your brother has been killed. He was shot down north of Seoul early this morning. He was in Korea in an advisory capacity, but there was a mistake—”
“A mistake?” Teddy suddenly shouted. “A mistake! He was killed by mistake?” And then in terror, he lowered his voice.