My Father as a Young Man smiled and smoothed back his hair. But there’s another story you should tell me, he said, you haven’t finished yet. There’s nothing else, I said. Don’t be obtuse, he said, I want to know if you were a good son, how you behaved towards the doctor who operated on me. Look, Dad, I said, I don’t know if I did the right thing, maybe I should have done things differently, I should have just punched the guy, that would have been a braver solution, but I didn’t, that’s why I’m left with this feeling of guilt, instead of smashing his face in, I wrote a story about the conversation I’d had with him and he brought a case against me, alleging it was false, I couldn’t prove to the judge that what I’d said was true and I lost the case. Were you found guilty? my Father as a Young Man asked. It’s not final yet, I said, I appealed and the trial is still going on, but I wish I’d done it differently, I wish I’d punched him, that would have been honourable, radical, in the old tradition. Don’t be hard on yourself, son, said my Father as a Young Man, you did the best thing, it’s better to use the pen than brute force, it’s a more elegant way of delivering a punch. It’s nice of you to comfort me, Dad, I said, because I don’t feel satisfied with myself. That’s why I’m here in this room, said my Father as a Young Man, because I wanted to reassure you, to reassure us both, now that you’ve told me everything, I feel more at peace. I hope so, Dad, I hope you don’t come back again the way you have done recently, it’s frightening, it was becoming unbearable. There’s one thing you should know, said my Father as a Young Man, I didn’t choose to appear in this room, it was your will that called me here, because it was you who wanted me in your dream, and now I only have time to say goodbye, goodbye my son, the maid is just about to knock on the door, I have to leave.
I heard the knocking on the door and opened my eyes, Viriata came in and said: Good afternoon, you’ve slept for exactly an hour and a half, I’m very punctual as you see, I hope you’ve had a good rest. She placed my trousers and my shirt on the edge of the bed and asked: Are you staying here tonight? No, Viriata, I said, I have to leave, I want to go for a walk. In this heat? asked Viriata, alarmed. It’s not a long walk, I said, and I might take the tram, I’ve got the whole afternoon ahead of me and I want to visit a painting. Visit a painting? said Viriata, what a weird idea. I never really understood what the painting meant, you see, perhaps today I’ll understand it better, who knows, today’s a very special day. If you don’t mind, then, I’ll come with you to the tram stop, said Viriata, I’d like to go for a walk too. With the greatest of pleasure, Viriata, I said, but first hand me the wallet that’s in my trouser pocket. Viriata understood at once, raised her hands and exclaimed: Certainly not, I don’t want a tip, you’ve been very kind to me and kindness is the best gift you can give to someone you don’t know.
V