She found herself walking slowly down the aisle, her footsteps echoing, gravitating towards the altar. At the end was an enormous cross, covered in gold foil, and as she walked closer, she was suddenly struck with memories, flashbacks. She saw herself walking down an aisle, in a grand church, Caleb by her side. She saw herself in one church after the next, each more and more elaborate, in England, Scotland, Italy, France. She saw herself in the Notre Dame in Paris. In the Duomo in Florence. In Westminster Abbey. In each, Caleb was by her side. She suddenly saw her and Caleb’s wedding. She saw them standing before a castle, in Scotland, hundreds of people in attendance, walking down an aisle covered in rose petals. She saw a sky lit up by the most beautiful sunset she had ever seen. It was magical.
She opened her eyes and wondered if that had all been a fantasy? She stood before the altar, staring at the shining, gold cross, and tried to focus. She felt connected to this cross. To Jesus. She couldn’t understand why. The thought of Jesus being her father in heaven was reassuring to her somehow. Was that because she had never known her father in real life?
She forced herself to focus on Scarlet. She felt waves of desperation overcome her, and found herself clasping her hands in prayer. She was desperate for help, and she silently prayed for a miracle.
She felt weak. She went to the pews and sat a few rows from the front. As she did, she looked up and noticed an open Bible. It was a thick book, and the header read: The New Testament, The Book of Luke. She scanned the pages, looking for a sign, wondering if her prayer had been answered. She read:
“I grant you power and authority over every demon, power and authority over every disease.”
Her heart raced. Was it a message?
She propped her elbows on the bench before her, rested her face in her hands, and silently prayed. She prayed for help for Scarlet. For herself. For her family. She had never felt so alone, so desperate. She was soon crying. She felt like a broken woman. All the tension, all the stress of the last few days – her almost losing Scarlet, her fighting with Caleb, her meeting with Aiden – all came pouring out. Her cries filled the air.
“My child,” came a soft voice.
Caitlin turned and saw Father McMullen, approaching her from the far side of the room. He crossed the cavernous room, his footsteps echoing, and Caitlin stood, embarrassed. She smoothed her skirt, and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“I’m sorry father, I didn’t mean to barge in like this,” she said, her voice shaking. “I realize you’re probably not open now – ”
He raised a palm to stop her, as he broke into a soft, warm smile.
“We are always open,” he said. “It’s Caitlin, isn’t it? Caitlin Paine?”
She nodded back, impressed he remembered.
“I never forget a face,” he said. “I am more than happy to see you here. I am sorry I was not here to greet you personally. You caught me on my lunch break,” he added with a smile.
Caitlin smiled, reassured at his presence. He held out his palm, and she shook his hand. She felt warmth and reassurance as he clasped her hand in both of his and smiled warmly.
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping away her tears.
He shook his head. “There is nothing to be sorry for. Our Lord in heaven appreciates heartfelt prayer.”
Caitlin sensed that she had come to the right place, that he was exactly the one she should talk to. She sighed, feeling some tension leaving her body.
“Would you like to talk?” he asked softly, after a few moments of silence.
“Yes, I would,” she replied.
“Let’s take a walk,” he said, and turned and led her across the room. “It’s a bit impersonal in here. Have you seen our new courtyard? It’s a gorgeous day, and everything is in bloom, and with the leaves falling, it’s a medley of color. I think you’ll find it heartwarming.”
“I’d like to see that,” she said, as they continued across the huge room.
He didn’t say anymore, didn’t press her with questions, and she sensed he was waiting for her to open up. She appreciated, more than he would ever know, his giving her time and space to collect herself. Clearly, this was a man who didn’t pry.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come here more often,” she said. “I live practically down the block. I hope you’re not offended.”
He smiled.
“I’m happy that you’re here now. The present is all we have, isn’t it? All of our mistakes, all of our regrets – all that we’ve done in the past – it’s nothing compared to the power of the present. Thank you for coming now.”
He stepped to the side and opened the door for her. They continued down a stone corridor, leading towards the rear courtyard.
“I’m afraid I’m not very good with confession,” Caitlin said. “I don’t even know what it is, really. I don’t think I’ve ever done it – or at least properly. I’m not really sure what to say – ”
“Don’t worry about any of that,” he said reassuringly. “Just speak from your heart. Tell me whatever you want to tell me.”
They walked out into a small courtyard in the back of the church. It was beautiful, quaint, filled with blooming fall flowers of every variety and a small pumpkin patch, and framed by large, reassuring, ancient trees, their leaves a medley of color, many of which were sprinkled in the garden. They followed a narrow, stone pathway and made their way to a bench beneath a tree.
They sat side by side and Caitlin leaned back, feeling at ease for the first time in days. A cool October breeze caressed her, taking off the heat of the sun. All around her, birds were chirping.
They sat there in silence for what felt like forever. Not once did the Father intrude on her thoughts. Clearly, this was a patient man, well-trained in the art of listening.
Caitlin didn’t quite know how to begin.
“My daughter, Scarlet, is sick,” she finally said.
He turned to her, looking back with caring eyes.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“Yesterday – ” she began, then stopped. My God, was it only yesterday? she thought. It felt like years had passed. “Yesterday… she came home sick from school. Then… she ran out of the house. She was missing, until today. We found her in the morning, and took her to the hospital. She was fine. The doctors say she’s fine. But I don’t feel that she’s fine.”
“What’s wrong with her?” he asked again.
Caitlin sighed, trying to figure how to phrase it. She wanted to stop beating around the bush.
“Father, do you believe in the paranormal?” she asked.
He turned and really looked at her for the first time, and she could see his green eyes widen in surprise. He looked away.
“If by that you mean, do I believe there are spiritual and unexplained forces beyond the physical realm? Yes, I do. I do not believe that we live in just a physical realm. There are clearly things in God’s universe that are meant to be unexplained. Things which we were never meant to understand.”
“But do you believe in the… supernatural?” Caitlin asked. “I mean – for example – the Catholic Church – it believes in spirits, right? Demons? Possession? Exorcism? I mean – you have exorcism rituals, don’t you?”
He shifted in his seat and rubbed his palms on his knees, and she could sense he was uncomfortable. He cleared his throat.
“Officially, yes. There is a ritual in the Catholic Church for exorcism. Have I ever seen it in practice? No. Have I ever practiced it myself? No. It is a very rare thing. As much as it may have been dramatized in the movies,” he said with a smile, “it is something you really never hear about.” He paused. “Why do you ask?”