“Gypsy-ish? Is that even a word?”
“It is now!” she fires back, rushing off in the opposite direction and grabbing a pile of costumes from one of the tables.
I walk over to the booth Annie pointed me to and begin laying out the organza as best I can.
“Hello!” I startle and step back, knocking into a tall, billowy woman with wild, raven hair wearing a long, deep moss-colored dress that pools at her feet. The cards she’s holding drop to the ground and I immediately bend to retrieve them while apologizing.
“Stop!” I jump again at the shrillness of her voice and pause, looking up at her.
“Don’t touch them,” she says, looking from me to the ground and then repeating the motion. Slowly she bends and retrieves the three upturned cards, placing them on the table I was dressing, completely disregarding the rest of the pack scattered across the floor.
“I’ve never seen this before. Come sit down, if you will.”
I swallow and stand up. “Okay,” I mumble. I’m nervous about things like this; my mom always used to laugh that I’d never cross paths with a black cat, walk under ladders or step on cracks in the pavement. I’m a superstitious person. I always have been. I whole-heartedly believed in fate and destiny when I was younger. I guess I still do to a degree, even if the universe has been kicking my ass lately. I slide into the booth and wring my hands. I’ve never visited a spiritualist or had my cards read. I’ve always been too scared, you know, in case they tell you that your fate is doomed, and you’re about to die.
“I’m Athena,” she offers taking a seat in front of me. Her features are striking, from the coffee-colored pallor of her skin to her bright green eyes. They must be contacts, I decide. They’re so unnaturally vivid I can’t seem to look away. She’s stunning and intimidating all at once.
“This card here.” She points to a knight riding atop a white horse and carrying a black and white flag. “Don’t be alarmed, but this is the card of Death.”
Don’t be alarmed! What the hell?
I sit back wide-eyed and filled with a sudden burst of anxiety.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s not real.
The chant doesn’t soothe the panic, and I can feel my pulse begin to race at the mere mention of the card’s name. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m shaking. She senses my discomfort and begins to explain.
“People often take the meaning of this card far too literally. They fear that the indication is for the death of either themselves or others around them. You can relax; it’s not the case for you. Death is symbolic of the ending of a major phase or aspect of your life. It symbolizes the beginning of something far more valuable and important. You must close one door to open another.”
“I’m not sure I’m following what you mean,” I confess.
“You need to put the past behind you and part ways, ready to embrace new opportunities and possibilities. It may be difficult to let go of the past at times, but you will soon see how important it is in order to bring renewal and transformation into your life. If you resist these necessary endings, you may experience pain, both emotionally and physically.”
Physical pain, well that sounds horrific.
“Okay, put the past behind me. I can do that,” I mumble. It’s a concept I really would like to adopt. I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than put Danny and his debts firmly in my past. If only life were that simple.
“This next card is the Ten of Swords,” she says. I don’t need an explanation of the picture; it’s a person dead on the ground with ten swords protruding from their chest. I think I dislike this card more than the last.
“The Ten of Swords usually symbolizes a sudden and unexpected failure or tragedy, a power beyond your control crushes you without warning or mercy. I can tell you that you may be able to alter the course of this impending disaster, but most of the time you will simply have to let go and accept your fate.”
I drop my face into my hands. I shouldn’t be listening to this. It’s not constructive at all and rings scarily true to my current situation. I’m not sure if that’s the case, though. It’s the same when I read my horoscopes. I subconsciously twist what’s happening in my life to fit the words I’m reading. Maybe that’s what I’m doing now. Maybe I’m not as doomed as I feel.
“Are you okay to continue?” She looks concerned, and I’m hoping that I’m reading her wrong. The narcissist in me is screaming to let her continue, but there’s a niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me think I should ask her to stop.
Suspicion wins out, and I give her a smile I in no way feel. “Please go ahead.”
“You know, this card can also indicate a time when you have been backstabbed or betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. You feel incredibly hurt and shocked by such a betrayal. The Ten of Swords is often associated with feeling the ‘victim’ in a situation. However, the saving grace is that you have a new awareness that the difficulty and pain will soon be over and will evolve into something new. As with all endings there will be a new beginning, so while this card may seem negative to you, it is really a card that can symbolize hope.”
I’m finding it difficult to focus on hope at the moment. All my energy is going toward trying to make the stupid payments that bully Carter has demanded. She’s right, though, I do feel like a victim and I hate it.
“Is the next one good news?” I ask with a small hint of optimism. Surely they can’t all be bad.
“They’re not bad news. It’s how you choose to interpret them and what you do as a consequence that is what’s really important. The last card is the Two of Swords; this card indicates to me that that you are currently being faced with a difficult decision, but you’re hiding from it. You’re hoping that if you ignore the decision long enough, it will go away on its own. However, it won’t go away by you simply willing it to. Your conscience will eventually force you into facing your problems directly.”
So it’s not good new then…great.
“Is this all supposed to make sense to me now? Because I’m not going to lie to you, Athena, I’m drawing a blank as to what this is all supposed to mean and what I should do to change my fate. Is there a timeframe for this sort of thing? Do these cards refer to something that has happened, or something that’s going to happen?” I’m aware that I sound ruffled, but I wasn’t expecting this impromptu reading, and I certainly wasn’t ready to hear that there’s seemingly more trouble ahead for me. I don’t think I’m strong enough to take much more.
“Robyn!” I turn to see Lauren waving me over from backstage. “Girl, what are you doing? You need to get changed!”
“Coming!” I stand from the table. “It was nice meeting you, Athena. I’ll try and seek you out throughout the night if it’s not too busy. I have a few more questions…if that’s okay?”
“I’ll look forward to it,” she says before bending to collect the cards I’d forgotten were scattered across the floor.
I make my way backstage with a swarm of butterflies dancing in my belly. Being issued the card of Death before my first night performing as a burlesquer definitely doesn’t bode well. I’ve always considered it bad fortune for someone to wish me good luck and to break a leg before a performance. Handing me a death card is infinitely worse.