I grabbed the small man by his rags, picked him up, and stuck my face into his raddled visage.
"Listen, my friend-how would you like to be cured?"
Smallpox blanched. "You-you wouldn't!"
"Try me."
"You murderer!" He began to kick. "All right, put me down, I'll talk."
I did, but kept alert for any funny moves.
"We have to earn a little eft somehow, you know," Smallpox began to whine. "And not many people will deal with us. So when we were approached with this assignment, we could hardly refuse. And besides, it was a technical challenge right up our alley."
"How's that?"
"This character-now, understand, I never actually saw him, so I couldn't know he was a baddie-kibes conducted the whole business-anyway, this plug wanted us to create a fast-acting, orally administered prion-based vector that would take up residence in the thalamus and upset the Llinas function."
I couldn't believe my ears. The Llinas function was the evolutionarily designed means whereby the thalamus, the brain's master clock, bound all sensory input and cortical responses into a coherent second-by-second gestalt of the universe. Even the big cricks hesitated to mess with such a core function.
"You're telling me that you've created an agent that will basically destroy a person's timebinding facility?"
"More or less. But all lifeforms are equal, and the prions will flourish without actually killing their hosts."
Sonny must have been reading my vital signs and detected my nervous concern, because he burst in like a mechanical octopus.
"Peej, what's to be done?"
"Wrap 'em."
Sonny's nozzles came alive, and within thirty seconds the Incubators were all enmeshed in sticky tangles. I called for a pickup and relayed what I had learned to Chief Priestly.
And that was the end of the easy part.
The entire complement of the UPCM, as well as hundreds of representatives from a dozen other bioregional and continental
agencies, were now on the track of the Kat. The next day, after receiving Chief Priestly's faint praise (and implied condemnation for not somehow suspecting the Incubators sooner), I, too, was back on the streets.
The night of my discovery, I had met Xuly Beth in Cockaigne for what felt like the last time. The candyland had never seemed shallower. Postsex, as we were silently resting, she said, "Be careful, won't you?"
"Sure. Don't I have Sonny to watch over me?"
She laughed. "Turing is spinning in his grave!" Growing serious, she asked, "You still carry a poqetpal, even after your upgrades, right?"
"Of course. It's always smart to have a backup connection to the metamedium."
Xuly Beth fingered her bumps. "Good, good… "
The Incubators had all been thoroughly interrogated without revealing any further clues about where Krazy Kat was hiding. Sonny and I explored a half dozen random possibilities without success. And all the time, something in the back of my mind was tickling my efferents.
Back at HQ, I took precious downtime to stare at the tornado-mandala.
And that's when it surfaced.
The odd scent in the tank.
I recognized it at last.
It was the scent of the Mats.
"Holy loas!" I said. "Sonny, come on!"
I didn't tell anyone where I was going, in case it turned out to be a wild virus chase.
And as Doctor Varela would later show me, maybe I unconsciously wanted a one on-one confrontation with the creature who had caused me so much frustration.
The UPCM kept a boathouse on the harbor. I signed out a swath-small waterplane area twin hull-and was soon zipping out to se a a t a good speed.
"We checked out the Mats when our assignment was first given," protested Sonny, wearing a Hughes chassis today that resembled a multilegged Hallucinagenia out of the Burgess Shale.
"I know. But that's not to say that Krazy Kat wasn't elsewhere then, and on the Mats now."
"Possibly. I wish I had been able to confirm your hunch as to the origin of that smell."
"There was no time. Do you want to risk having those prions loosed on the human populace?"
"Then kibes would rule Boston."
I stared at the robot, but on this model there was no expression to interpret.
"A joke. Of the type that partners make to each other."
"Oh. Ha– ha."
It took an hour to reach the Mats, out around the Georges Bank, but I could smell them before I could see them.
The vast collection of cyanobacteri a a nd diatoms carpeted several thousand square kilometers of sea, looking like a mushy ectoplasmic rug, floating meatloaf. Source of multipurpose biomass, home to a flourishing ecology of both basal and biofabbed useful and edible creatures, the Mats were cultivated for humanity by special-purpose, low-intelligence kibes.
One or more of which the Kat must have subverted and sent to do his bidding.
At the landward edge of the Mats, a small floating station anchored to the seafloor served the rare human visitors: an OTEC power plant, a beacon, an emergency habitat.
We docked. I wasn't attempting to be quiet, since there was nowhere for the Kat to go or hide.
''Watch the boat," I told Sonny.
"Until otherwise needed."
I climbed onboard the gently rocking deck of the lonely, midocean outpost.
In the north, I could see curious stormclouds massing in a previously clear sky. But I couldn't spare any thought or attention for the weather. My whole being was attuned to picking up the presence of the Kat. But so far, nothing.
That was why I was so surprised when, as I approached one side of the platform, his paw burst from the water and clamped around my ankle.
He yanked, I went down, but not in, as I grabbed onto a stanchion. Feeling resistance, the Kat exploded out of the water and onto the deck. He kicked, I rolled, found my feet, and confronted him in a fighter's crouch.
"Sonny!" I yelled.
"Coming, Pee-" said the kibe.
Then there was a splash.
Two harvesters had clambered aboard the swath and dumped Sonny overboard. My partner had gone to swim with the fishes. And he couldn't swim.
That left me and the Kat.
I suppose I should have been honored to be one of the few humans ever to directly confront the legendary splice. But instead I was scared into almost a Blankie-wearing state. After the way he had so easily brought me down, I had to run an emergency mantra just to stay cool.
Even dripping wet, fur plastered to his noble body, ears flattened to his skull, Krazy Kat looked every bit the Byronic antihero. There was something regal and wild about him and, I could see how his image had captivated so many to his doomed cause.
"Give it up, Kat, and I promise you won't get hurt," I bluffed.
His voice mixed purr and snarl, his whiskers twitched. "No, just imprisoned and reviled, made to kiss my inferior's boots!"
"Better to live than to die."
"Not on those terms!"
"Your call," I said, then held my palm out to him in a gesture like a traffic kibe's.
Antipersonnel spray-blistering, blinding, stifling-lanced out from my exocrine glands and caught the Kat in the face.
Roaring, he launched himself at me despite the pain. We hit the plates, and I felt his teeth in my neck, piercing my imbricated skin. My grip on his shoulders meant nothing to him.
I guessed I was about to find out how good neo-goretex veins were.
Things started to get black, and I thought my vision was going.
But it turned out to be the clouds above.
And as I looked in disbelief, all hell broke loose.
Lightning, thunder, rain in buckets, then the final punch: a microburst of wind similar to the kind that could and had leveled whole tracts of forest in pre GEF days.