He walks towards me and stops inches from my face, his hands resting on his hips. “Because Dude, she doesn’t know what she wants, and you’re not exactly whole. What if she goes back to that douche of an ex? What then? You have a little girl who needs you pretty fucking bad, what are you doing messing with a girl who may not choose you?”
I’d trusted Reed with that information about Addison and her ex, and he just threw it back in my face. I glare at him. Pissed at what he’s saying and more pissed that his words may be true. Something had rattled Addison last night, scared her enough to not want to give us her best shot. I wasn’t going to let her get away with it, at this point, there was no way I’d let her call us a mistake and walk away. It would be physically impossible for me to stay away from her.
He drops his hands by his sides in frustration. “You banged her didn’t you?”
“That’s none of your fucking business Reed. And if I did, why the disgusted look on your face?” Reed’s been on my ass about Addison since I met her. What. Is. His. Deal!
Reed moves right into my face and points a finger at me. “Because you don’t just fuck Damian, you get attached. And you don’t need anyone messing with your brain right now. Do I need to remind you what your life was like six years ago, Dude? That for three years after the accident you were so lost I thought for sure one day I’d come home and find you dead. I get it, you don’t want to be like your father, fuck, I get it, but that doesn’t mean you have to save every girl within a ten-mile radius, Dude. A million fucking chicks out there would fall at your feet, so why in the fuck are you picking the one who may crush you? That’s what the disgusted look is for.”
“You going to sit on this couch all day?” Reed’s just moved in front of the television, blocking my view of the latest America’s Most Wanted episode.
“Yep, move the fuck out of my way.” I pour myself another shot of whiskey and wince as it burns on its way down.
He grabs the remote and turns it off, then throws it to the other side of the room. “Guess you’re going to have to get up and find that damn thing if you want to keep watching it.” He picks up the Jack Daniels and caps it. “This making you feel any better?”
I sit up and pound my hands on the table in front of me. “What do you want, Reed?” I’m shouting. If I wasn’t so buzzed I’d get up and beat the shit out of him, but I’d probably lose, so yelling seems to be the next best thing.
“Live your life Dude, not piss it away because it didn’t go in the direction you had planned. Be a fucking man!”
My arm slices across the coffee table, clearing it of anything in its path. It’s been three years since the accident and my leg still isn’t functioning at full throttle. I’ve let him drag me to the track, I’ve let my mom come over and bring me food, I’ve let him bring chicks over to try and cheer me up, but fuck if I’m going to let him take away my right to be pissed as fucking hell that my life was stolen from me.
“You think you have it bad?” he challenges. “You think your life sucks?” he continues to scream at me.
“Yeah, I fucking do asshole!”
Reed glares at me, his breathing coming in shallow gasps in and out of his lungs. “She had a daughter.”
My head snaps up, my eyes landing directly on his. “What did you say?”
His shoulders fall slightly, his tense stance softening. “Megan’s death orphaned a little girl, Damian. A little girl who is now five-years-old. You think your life’s bad? How do you think that little girl is doing?”
This cannot be true. I rub my hands over my face, trying to comprehend what he just said. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you need a reality check.” Reed leans against the wall, his eyes studying my reaction.
“How long have you been keeping this from me?”
He looks to the floor, then back at me. “Three years.”
Fuck.
“Wake up Damian. Realize you have a lot to live for.”
Air, I need air and I need a lot of it. I take off as fast as I can. My Nike’s slapping the red material of the track. Running from a past that haunts me, running from my best friend who has just pointed out every flaw in my life and running from the woman who shines so bright in my eyes, that I can’t imagine not spending every night like the one before.
I run for an hour and I run hard. Reed keeps a safe and noticeable distance behind me, but he doesn’t leave the track and he keeps a watchful eye on me.
When I’m done running I make my way to the uneven bars and start my pull up routine. Fifty in all. I drop and do over one hundred push-ups. After that, I turn over onto my back and start in on my abs but have to abort that part of my work out the minute my scratch marks hit the ground.
My life as a soccer player had ended, but I still trained as if I was competing in the world nationals. I still keep in shape as if someone is going to call me and ask me to join their team and bring them to victory. I still train because blood is blood and flesh is flesh. I am still my father’s son.
“You done killing yourself?” Reed sits next to me, sweat running down the sides of his face.
“She jumped me.” I’m sitting, my elbows resting on my knees.
“Addison?” He looks over, curiosity swimming in his eyes.
“Yep, We got really drunk, and she jumped me, begged me to take her to bed. And I did.”
“Oh Fuck, man. You really know how to pick ‘em. Hop up, let’s go grab a beer and you can tell me all about it.” Reed stands up and reaches his hand down to mine. I grab it and let him help me to my feet.
“So now what?”
I shrug. “Hell if I know. She slipped out early this morning and the moment I saw her she couldn’t wait to tell me how big of a mistake it was.”
“And you?”
“Reed, I have scratch marks a foot down my back, a raging hard on when my mind so much as drifts in her direction and a pain in my heart the size of Texas. That was no mistake.”
“A little too much information, Dude.” He flinches and takes a swig from his bottle. “Why don’t you tell her?” He looks at me like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
“Like you said, she doesn’t know what she wants. It’s not going to matter what I say.” I take a few gulps of my beer.
Reed nods in acknowledgment. He sighs and takes a sip of his beer, as he sets the bottle down he looks at me.
“If you’re sure she’s your girl, don’t give up on her.”
I give him a curious look. An hour ago he was telling me to run the hell away.
He looks to the side, then back at me. “Remember when I disappeared last year for a few days and you had no idea where I went or why?”
I nod. He’d scared the crap out of me. Fell off the face of the earth for an entire weekend. When he finally surfaced, he looked at me as if it was no big deal he’d simply disappeared. I asked once where he’d been, and he wouldn’t tell me. I hadn’t pushed the issue, he was back, safe and I could once again sleep at night.
“I was chasing a chick. Leslie Sutton. Do you remember her?”
“Blond hair, big blue eyes, and a Texan twang?”
He nods, his eyes going somewhere else for a minute remembering exactly what this girl looks like. “The day before I skipped town she and I spent the whole night together. I was sure it was love, she was sure it wasn’t.”