I swallow. He’s right. The second my dad knew what my mom was, he disappeared. And he never came back.
“But the two of us together . . . why would we judge each other for it? We’re willing to look beyond it. See each other for who we are instead of what we are.”
I swallow. “How do you know this?”
He smiles, gets this faraway look for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “My father is a nix, and my mother a siren. If it worked for them, it could work for us.
“It’s been slow and tortuous, trying to find you. Some nixes never find who they’re looking for. They live their entire lives with the curse.”
Erik leans in closer, his thumb lightly tracing my jawline for a whisper of a second. “Two years ago, a high school senior—a star swimmer—drowned.”
Steven.
“On its own, it wasn’t enough. But then I saw a photo of your mother, drowning under unusual circumstances. And I found out she had a daughter. My parents knew how important it was to find you. So they sent me here to see if I was right.”
He edges closer, meeting my eyes. “And turns out I was. You’re a siren. Like nixes, sirens are rare. You’re probably the only one in the world even close to my age.”
He pauses and crouches lower, so we’re eye to eye. “You know it makes sense. By now swimming has probably become the only thing that matters, the thing the rest of your world revolves around. You have to want more from life than the card you’ve been dealt.”
“I . . .” I swallow. “It’s just weird. To hear you talk about this. About ... what I am. I’ve never talked to anyone about it.” I don’t know what to think of all this. The idea that everything I’ve lived has just been turned on its head. He looks at me, at the scared look in my eyes, and steps back. The sudden distance seems to force air into my lungs, and I take a big gasp of breath.
He furrows his brow. “I’m sorry . . . I . . . must be overwhelming you. I never considered that you wouldn’t know about me. About what we . . . about us.”
I swallow, find myself climbing to my feet even though I don’t know why. “I just ... this is . . . a lot to take in. I don’t know what to say right now.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Let it settle in and we can talk more tomorrow.”
“I think I have a boyfriend,” I say, lamely.
He purses his lips. “I understand. That’s . . .” He doesn’t know what to say. He clearly hadn’t expected that to be my reaction. “Unfortunate,” he concludes.
“Do I still need to swim tonight?”
Erik nods. “Yes. You’ll have to keep swimming, for now. Until we fall in love.” He clears his throat. “I’ll go.”
I don’t know what to say. This has been the most bizarre conversation of my life. “Will you be at school tomorrow?”
He nods. “Yes. I transferred here. I was hoping . . . hoping I could be normal. Hoping we could be normal. Finish school together like everyone else.”
I nod, but I don’t know what to say. “Can we talk about this tomorrow? When it’s all . . . sunken in?”
He nods. “Yeah. Of course.”
“Okay. Um, see you then?” I edge toward the water, twist around so the lake is to my back and I’m staring at him.
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
He doesn’t break eye contact as he edges away into the shadows. “See you then.”
And then he turns and steps into the darkness. I stand on the edge of the lake for several more minutes, waiting for him to reappear. He doesn’t.
Finally, I turn to the water, the only thing that never changes.
Chapter Twenty
When I walk into the cafeteria the next day, I see Erik sitting at the table with Cole and Sienna. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him around them; he’s only there because of me, because he now knows what I am. My brain sears painfully, and I nearly turn and run, but before I can, Sienna stands and waves me over.
Students stream past me on both sides, flooding the cafeteria with the buzzing of voices. But they may as well have all simultaneously disappeared. The only people who matter in this world—in my world—are the three sitting together at that table. Cole and Erik should not be sitting beside each other like that. They don’t belong within a mile of each other.
I force my feet to move, and I somehow make my way across the room, until I’m standing at the end of the table. Patrick, Nicki, and Kristi are at the other end of the table.
“Hey,” I say. I glance at each of them, swiftly. The way the boys are looking at me makes me uneasy. Like I belong to both of them.
I try to act so much more indifferently than I really feel. I glance at Erik. He smiles. “Sienna seems to be the official welcome wagon. I was behind her in the lunch line and she insisted I shouldn’t eat alone.”
I nod as if this were totally normal, as if Erik is just the smoking-hot new guy from our English class and not the only person who can (allegedly) save me from my curse.
“Are you going to sit?” Sienna asks.
I realize I’ve been standing there like a total idiot, and plunk down on the bench across from Cole and Erik. I reach for the apple on my tray and take a big bite, happy to have something to keep me from speaking.
“Erik here was just telling us that it’s eighty-seven degrees in San Diego right now. Doesn’t that sound dreamy?” Sienna frowns as if the mere thought of looking pale is disturbing. “My tan is already fading.”
“I’m going tanning at that new place on Griffin Street after school. You should come with,” Nikki says. “You, too, if you want,” she says, looking at me.
“Oh, uh, no thanks. I’m cool with the white-as-a-ghost thing.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Well, since you’re not going tanning . . .” Cole begins, setting his slice of pizza back on his paper plate. “I thought maybe we could go down to the beach. Watch the sunset. My mom has this totally lame picnic basket from, like, 1985, but I thought we could use it.”
I try to act natural. I can’t believe Cole just asked me out like that, in front of everyone. Maybe he really does think he’s my boyfriend. That certainly makes things with Erik even more difficult. . . .
“I’d love to, but I’m totally swamped with homework. I have a big chem test tomorrow.” I nod, then take a giant bite of my apple. Too late, I realize that was a terrible excuse. Nikki has the same chemistry class as me.
I glance her way, but she’s too busy readjusting her cleavage to pick up on my lie.
“Oh,” he says, his voice falling.
I chew faster, swallow a painfully large bite of the apple. “Let’s do something this weekend. Like . . . the sunrise. Much prettier than the sunset.”
I could handle a sunrise. By then I’d just have to time it just right, so that the sun is showing by the time we get there, but not all of the way up.
Cole lifts an eyebrow. “But it’s not over the ocean. That’s kind of the point.”
“Have you ever actually sat on the beach when the sun is rising?” I say, scrambling.
Cole shifts in his chair. “Um, no, I guess not. Why, is it different?”
“Trust me, it’s beautiful. There’s a sort of mist that clings to the ocean, and it makes it feel like you’re the only person in the world.”
That was terrible. But I just stare at him with a dopey hopeful smile, hoping he doesn’t read further into my expression.
“Wow, Lexi, you should totally write for hallmark,” Sienna says, rolling her eyes.
“Shut up, Sienna,” I say. But I smile when I say it. It feels pleasant and unfamiliar. A few short weeks ago I would’ve glared.
“Okay. Sure,” Cole says. “Saturday it is.”
Sienna clears her throat. “So if you’re not going to do the whole cheesy-romance-novel thing with Cole on Friday night, do you guys want to come over? My parents are out of town again. Nothing huge, but there’ll be a few of us. You’re invited, too,” Sienna says, nodding at Erik.