“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
I waited.
“Ugh! I hate it when you do that. Fine, Mr. Patient! I was going to pour you a glass of whiskey and rub your shoulders. You know, ’cause you’ve had a long day.”
“Mmm hmm,” I prompted.
“Then I was going to kneel in front of you and ask if you wanted me to rub anything else.”
“What if I’d said no? That I was too tired?”
“Sometimes you’re infuriating. Especially when you’ve had your way with me.”
I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Little Bit,” I said. “I like teasing you. I can’t help it.”
“Try harder,” she grumped. “I put a lot of effort into this relationship.”
“I know you do. I do too.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure. It’s all so easy for you. And it seems like I have to make all the sacrifices.”
Something in her tone made me forget what I was going to say next. “What do you mean?” I said instead.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“Uh-uh. Tell me.”
“Just forget it. Please? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“No, tell me,” I said, a bit more forcefully.
“Can we change the subject?”
“No, I—”
“I’ll tell you when I’m ready,” she promised. “I… have to work up to it.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. In the meantime, can I do something to take your mind off it? I’ll suck your cock,” she said faux-sweetly. “Susan gave me some tips. And I have that spray. I’m very determined, you know.”
“I know, but… I’m not in the mood. Sorry.”
“I’m sorry, Paul,” she said softly. “I just can’t tell you. Not yet.”
“Will you at least give me a hint? Is it good or bad?”
“I suppose it depends.”
“On what?”
“Whether God will forgive me or not.”
Chapter 27
I sat in shock for a moment before I reacted. “What do you mean, ‘if God will forgive you’?”
Christy shrugged.
“Tell me.”
“Only, I can’t really ask him, now can I? I can’t ask a priest, either.” She laughed bitterly. “Like they’d know anything about it.”
“About what?”
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”
“You tried that already. It didn’t work the first time either.”
“It’s just something I have to deal with.”
I did my best to suppress any hint of uncertainty. “Are you pregnant?”
“No, of course not. Why—?” She sat up and looked at me. “What would you do if I were?”
“Find a priest,” I said immediately.
“No, I’m not pregnant,” Christy said. She relaxed and smiled. “But I’m glad you’d still marry me.”
“You know I would. Err, will.”
“Thank you.” She returned to my side and hugged me.
“But when we’re ready,” I added, and she nodded. “In the meantime, what’re you talking about?”
“Nothing. It’s… personal.”
“And getting married isn’t?”
“Of course, dear,” she said absently.
“Listen, you’re going to have to tell me eventually. And it’ll keep getting worse in my head until you do. So, if you aren’t pregnant, what the hell is going on?”
“If you must know, I talked to my mom today.”
“And…?”
“She called me.”
“Wait,” I said, “you usually call her.”
“Mmm hmm. She had to do it while my dad was at the McFaddens’. I’m sure she came up with some excuse to get him out of the house.” She sighed and added, “I hope we never get like that, where I have to send you on an errand so I can talk to our daughter.”
“We won’t. But I swear I’m going to explode if you drag this out any longer.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, genuinely contrite. “We talked about… Well, she talked. I listened. I was too shocked to say much.”
“What did she tell you?”
“That…” She took a deep breath and finished, “I have to get on the pill.”
I was too stunned to reply.
“Yeah,” Christy agreed. “That’s what I said.”
My brain finally started to process again. “Lemme see if I have this straight,” I said. “Your mother told you to get on the pill? The birth control pill.”
“I know, right?”
“Did she tell you why?”
“Why do you think?” Christy said sullenly. “She knows. About us. Duh.”
“Of course she knows,” I almost snapped. “She knew before it even happened. But this is your mother we’re talking about. She’s a good Catholic!”
“That’s what I thought. But she said times have changed. She didn’t have a choice when she was my age. They didn’t have the pill back then. She started having babies almost as soon as they were married. But she wants more for me.”
“She told you that?”
“In those exact words. She wants more for me. And it should be my choice when we have children.”
“It should,” I said. “Well, our choice.”
“But it’s against my beliefs. The pill, I mean.”
“It’s against hers too,” I pointed out. “But she feels strongly enough about it to go against the Church.”
“This is all Marianne’s fault,” Christy sulked.
“Because she was giving you advice?”
“Yeah. But then she had to get pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for her, but… Ugh!”
“The rhythm method isn’t foolproof,” I said, as tactfully as I could. “It doesn’t account for human nature.”
“It works fine for us!” Christy protested. “I’m not pregnant, am I?”
“No, but… it’s only a matter of time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Never mind. I know.” She added plaintively, “But… I have my calendar! I count the days! We’re doing fine!”
I didn’t mention any of the times she’d wanted me to come inside her, even though it was danger week. I also didn’t mention how many times I’d almost done it, in spite of knowing better.
“What’re you going to do?” I said instead.
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”
She knew what I wanted, but I was diplomatic enough not to point it out. Besides, I didn’t want to make her feel like we were ganging up on her. She could be a stubborn little thing, especially if she felt cornered.
“It has to be your decision,” I said. “You have to live with it. But I’ll support you, either way.”
She sighed, unconvinced.
“I mean it. I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to, including this.”
She didn’t answer with words, but she hugged me even tighter.
I simply held her, although a part of me felt guilty for what she was going through. I certainly wouldn’t want to face her mother’s displeasure. Stronger men had tried, and stronger men had paid for it.
* * *
I returned from my run the next morning and climbed into bed, but I knew immediately that Christy wasn’t in the mood for sex. She was preoccupied with her dilemma. I couldn’t really blame her, but the little head wasn’t happy.
This is why you aren’t in charge anymore, I told him.
That’s what you think.
He’d get us both in trouble if I stayed in bed any longer, so I kissed Christy’s temple and slid from under the covers.
“I’d better start getting ready,” I said.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re preoccupied. You wouldn’t enjoy it anyway.”
She watched from the bed as I tossed my clothes in the hamper and then picked up hers as well. I did my best to hide my erection, but she saw anyway.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
“Positive.”
She glanced at my hard-on.
“Don’t worry about him. He’ll figure it out. In the meantime, you’d better shower.”