‘I’ve never heard such a bloody awful idea in my life,’ exploded Rupert. ‘D’you want to castrate Freddie, to take away all his spontaneity and bounce? And coming from two jumped-up ex-grammar school boys who talk about “Willis-den”, and “substarntial involevement” makes it all the more laughable. Do you want Freddie to talk like a fucking toastmaster?’
‘I beg your pardon?’ thundered the Bishop, turning puce.
‘And for someone who calls himself a Christian and another a practising socialist, you’re both a bloody disgrace,’ added Rupert.
‘I hope you’ll withdraw that remark,’ spluttered the Professor, showering Rupert with whisky-soaked crumbs.
‘Sausage rolls, anyone?’ said Cameron, coming over and shoving a plate between them. ‘What on earth’s the matter?’
‘The Bishop and the Professor have just pointed out that Freddie is a social embarrassment to Venturer and should take some elocution lessons,’ said Rupert furiously and stalked out of the room.
It took all Cameron’s and, later, Declan’s tact to calm the Bishop and the Professor down. Both threatened to resign, demanded Rupert’s resignation or at least most humble apologies, and were only placated by a large and very expensive dinner at the Gay Hussar.
It was two-thirty in the morning before Declan got home to Penscombe, but he found Taggie still up laying out apples in an upstairs spare room. With all the bills flooding in, it might be all they had to live on soon.
‘How did it go?’ she asked.
‘Awful, but Hardy Bissett says it’s always ghastly to begin with. He’ll knock them into shape. Billy Lloyd-Foxe turned up.’
‘Is he nice?’ said Taggie.
‘Enchanting,’ said Declan. ‘Exactly the right kind of person to calm everyone down. With the last fence in sight, they’re all getting incredibly twitchy.’
Then he told Taggie about Rupert’s row with the Bishop and the Professor.
‘Rupert was right. Poor Freddie,’ said Taggie indignantly.
‘He was not,’ said Declan. ‘Winding up other members of the consortium at this stage is insane. Keeping the Bishop sweet is absolutely crucial. Rupert was flip and obstructive the whole way through the meeting. I don’t know what’s got into him, or how poor Cameron puts up with him.’
It was poor Cameron now, reflected Taggie grimly.
‘She was fantastic at the meeting,’ Declan went on, with unexpected warmth. ‘The more I see of her, the better I think she is. In fact all the moles distinguished themselves, even Sally Maples, once she got over her nerves. And Charles keeps everyone’s spirits up. And Billy, as I said, just has an enchanting personality, which is bound to endear us to the IBA. I hate to sound over-confident — ’ he reached over and touched the skirting board — ‘but if we don’t do anything bloddy silly between now and December, our chances of getting the franchise must be focking good.’
44
In the first week in November Tony Baddingham called a press conference. He looked on top of the world, the scarlet poppy in his buttonhole adding just the right note of concerned sobriety to offset the hedonistic effect of a splendid Los Angeles suntan.
He had been in LA, he told the waiting army of reporters and cameramen, to sign up a brilliant new woman programme controller who would start in the new year.
‘Assuming you win the franchise?’ asked ITN.
‘There’s no doubt about that,’ said Tony smugly.
‘Is she better than Cameron Cook?’
‘I have no doubt about that either,’ said Tony even more smugly.
He went on to say that Corinium had set aside sixteen million pounds next year for new programmes and pledged to have ‘an even fresher and more responsible approach to covering the region’.
‘The old fox is up to something,’ muttered the Mail on Sunday. ‘He didn’t get us here just for this crap.’
‘What about advertising?’ asked the Observer.
‘Revenue may be down,’ Tony replied smoothly, ‘but so is the advertising revenue of all the ITV companies.’
It had been a bad summer for advertising, he explained, because the weather had been so good, but this had boosted Corinium’s leisure interests, so shareholders could expect excellent mid-term results in December.
‘Why weren’t you prepared to face Declan O’Hara on Radio Cotchester?’ asked the Scorpion.
‘Because Corinium prefer to rest on their laurels and not indulge in vulgar abuse and — ’ Tony lowered his voice, so the journalists had to crane forward to catch what he was saying — ‘Declan O’Hara might not have been quite so happy to face me had he been aware that I know everything he’s been up to.’
‘Here it comes,’ said ITN, as Tony very slowly got out a cigar and made a great play of cutting off the end before lighting it.
‘Declan O’Hara,’ he went on slowly, ‘has been poaching my staff. This summer he enticed Cameron Cook away, but as early as May he had signed up my sales director, Georgie Baines, my religious editor, Charles Fairburn, and my finest news reporter, Sebastian Burrows. I’d like also to warn the BBC, London Weekend, and Yorkshire Television, that Billy Lloyd-Foxe, Harold White and Sally Maples — ’ Tony enunciated the names particularly carefully so all the journalists could get them down — ‘are also signed up and poised to move to Venturer in the most unlikely event of them winning the franchise.’
There was a stunned silence.
‘How the hell did you find all this out?’ asked the Mail on Sunday, almost sent flying by the unseemly dash for the telephones.
‘I wouldn’t be chief executive of Corinium if I didn’t know everything that was going on in my own company,’ said Tony grimly, ‘and I intend to keep it that way for many years to come. Unlike Venturer,’ he added dismissively, ‘whose security is even worse than MIS.’
For twenty-four hours Tony left the three Corinium moles to sweat, and the whole Corinium building in a turmoil of rumour and speculation. James Vereker, for one, was absolutely furious on initially hearing the news. How dare Declan ignore him and sign up Charles, who was nothing but a fat drunken fag, or Seb, who was infinitely junior to James in the newsroom, or Georgie, of whose longer eyelashes James was inordinately jealous? Then James’s fury turned to pleasure, as he realized that all three moles would be for the high jump. He even gave several interviews to the nationals, saying he was utterly disgusted by their disloyal, uncaring behaviour, and that he felt huge sympathy for Tony Baddingham in his hour of desertion.
James was therefore not the only member of Corinium’s staff hanging round the newsroom waiting for fireworks the following morning, after word whistled round the building that Tony had sent for Georgie Baines. Seb was demented with worry, thinking of the loan he’d wheedled out of his bank manager for a new Ferrari. Charles could only take another gulp of claret and think greyly of his five-figure overdraft and the mortgage he’d just taken out on a tumbledown cottage near Penscombe.
Half an hour later Georgie Baines staggered into the newsroom making agonized faces and clutching his bottom as though he’d just been given twelve of the best. Then, very slowly, he drew the latest Corinium Company Report out of the seat of his trousers, then roared and roared with laughter.
‘Tony gave me an absolute bollocking,’ he told his amazed audience, ‘said if I have any more dealings with Venturer, he’ll sue me for breach of contract, but it’s made him realize how much I’m worth to Corinium. So he’s doubled my salary, and made me Deputy Managing Director — so you better all behave yourselves, my darlings.’