“Yesterday morning Helen hadn’t dropped back into our lives.” He regretted the words as soon as they escaped.
Hope froze. “I don’t understand. What does that have to do with anything? You mean the way you enjoy sex doesn’t apply anymore because my idiot of a sister returned?”
She would have leapt off the bed, but Matt caught her hand. “No, that’s not it.”
Hope jerked her arm, attempting to free herself. “What the hell is it then? Why all of a sudden are you acting differently?”
“Because…” Because he was afraid of losing her. “Just thought you’d like some tenderness.”
All the fight went out of her and she shook her head. “Oh, Matt.”
Hope crawled against him and laid her head on his shoulder, her arms going around him. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just held on tight.
They were sticky from sex and his crazy impulse to cover her with his semen. Their heart rates still rushed—he felt the pulse of hers against his chest, although now it was probably more from her angry outburst than the frantic sexual release they’d enjoyed. Her bedroom curtain was open and the glow from the street shone into the room, meshing with her dim bedside lamp into muted mood-lighting.
Quiet. Back to the low-key and subdued situation they’d enjoyed before hitting the sheets, but something remained tight inside him. Fear, hovering like a carrion bird, ready to swoop down and peck at him if he showed any signs of giving up.
Hope pressed her lips to his cheek and his apprehension lightened slightly. At least she wasn’t kicking him out or punching him anymore. She worked her way to his lips, threading her fingers into his hair and drawing their mouths together. He tried to put his heart into the kissing—his tenderness and his caring. Under his palms, her shoulders and back relaxed as he cradled her, drawing circles on her skin.
When she leaned away, it was to give him a tentative smile. “We’ve been pretty damn honest with each other, haven’t we? Ever since you hauled me out of the ditch?”
“Like telling me you could handle my hard-on and it wasn’t anything special? Or that we weren’t going to fuck?”
That earned him a bit bigger of a smile. “Okay, maybe blunt is more the word I’m looking for.”
“Blunt I can agree with.”
Hope curled her hands over his shoulders and hung on tight. “Since we’re here, and not having wild sex and it’s kinda dark and all, can I tell you a really big, very blunt secret?”
Matt wondered where the hell she was going with this. “Do I need to grab the bottle of tequila for us to do shots to help with this truth session?”
She shook her head. “There is obviously no booze needed for me to be blunt, if our history has anything to show. Matt, I like you being in charge in the bedroom, and I’m not a delicate little flower.”
His breath caught.
Hope lifted her chin, turning her gaze directly at him. “I have enough I’m responsible for with the shop and the volunteering I do around town, I don’t want to call the shots in bed as well. But it’s more than that. I just…”
Matt wasn’t sure which way was up. He hadn’t freaked her out with his roughness, but his stopping? “What?”
She blew out a long slow breath. “I want you to do whatever you like. It turns me on big-time. I trust you. I trust you to take care of me and make me feel real good. You’ve knocked it out of the park as far as me being satisfied every time we’ve fooled around. And the idea of… God, this is so tough to admit. Maybe I’m broken, but I want you to just—take. Don’t ask, don’t try to temper your urges.”
He covered her mouth with his, savouring her taste all over. That was enough of a confession. He didn’t need further details, not anymore. He was still scared shitless that he would to do something wrong and tear them apart, and he’d be thinking long and hard about it a lot more in the future. But being handed the reins to their sexual adventures? Being told that was one area where he didn’t have to worry about going wrong?
Sweet relief and violent need swelled simultaneously.
Her cheeks were flushed red-hot from forcing the confession, but short-term embarrassment was better than having Matt act like some damn yo-yo in bed out of consideration when that wasn’t what she wanted at all.
Honesty. She’d committed to it before, and as he kissed the living daylights out of her, she had to smile. The best policy ever? It certainly seemed that way.
Matt managed to get to his feet without losing his grip, lifting her and carrying her into the bathroom.
It wasn’t the biggest room in the apartment, but with the oversized tub she was happy. She knew from experience they both fit.
“Stand up.” Matt lowered her slowly and gave her time to find her footing. She stepped back to make room for him, but instead of joining her, he fiddled with the curtains, sliding them to the side. He turned on the tap and adjusted temperatures, leaning over the edge of the tub.
“What’re you doing?”
He stood and snatched the showerhead off the hook, twirling the hose to turn the head into the tub. “Whatever I want, right?”
“But I thought—”
He frowned and Hope snapped her lips together. Okay. Right.
She waited, wondering, as he flicked knobs and got the spray started. A gentle stream fed over her skin as he aimed the warm water. Liquid slid down in sheets as he changed the direction from her shoulders, over her breasts to her belly. The zigzagging motion reminded her of a brief, gentle prewash.
A laugh escaped.
He looked up from where he’d been staring in admiration. “What’s that for?”
“I feel as if I’m standing in a car wash and waiting for the next cycle to begin.”
Matt nodded, his pupils going dark as he examined her carefully. “There are a lot of things about to happen.”
He hooked the hose around the faucet and jammed it in place to keep the water inside the tub. Then he grabbed her body wash and scrubbed her from top to bottom. Bubbles covered her everywhere. Tiny goose bumps rose in spite of the heat of the water and the heat of his touch. Every caress was a tease, a delight. He massaged her breasts with a full palm and fingers, circles and circles and more circles until her nipples throbbed against his slick hands. Then he moved farther south, cleaning all the signs of his seed from her. Yet even as his markings washed away, it was as if he painted her with a far more permanent brand. Something invisible, but undeniable.
When he slipped his fingers through her curls and along her labia she sighed happily.
Matt growled in approval. “You make the most wonderful noises. I can tell exactly how soft or hard to go by the sounds escaping your lips.”
Hope considered sealing her mouth tight to see what he’d do, but where was the fun in that? Instead, she widened her stance, making it easier for him to touch her.
Matt didn’t stop at her sex, or at least not for nearly long enough. He went all the way down, his thick fingers amazingly delicate on the back of her knees and between her toes.
She was all comfortable and content, especially when he grabbed the showerhead and rinsed her delicately, bubbles slipping down the drain with a quiet gurgle.
Then he rotated the showerhead off the widest setting to the tightest point, and her relaxation scurried down the drain as well.
“Now that you’re cleaned up, I think you’re ready for the next thing.”
And the next thing appeared to be tormenting her. Hope gasped as he directed the pulsing stream directly at her right nipple. The pressure was hard enough to make her body tighten. A tingling began, leading from her sensitive breasts to deep inside where she grew achy and needy for him. She wanted him to put down the playthings and simply give her his cock.