“She must have loved you. Women are like that. When they’re in love, they’re like a moth flying into a flame with no regard for itself. It couldn’t care less if it burned to ashes. But when they harden their hearts and choose not to see you, they’ll avoid you like the plague. You were in love, weren’t you?”
Ignoring her question, he said, “Be honest and tell me, Wan’er. Am I a terrible man?”
Caught off guard, she could only say, “No, you’re not.”
“Be truthful, don’t lie to me. You must think that’s all you need to say for me to believe you.” He pulled up some grass around him. “I’m such a fool. Why did I think you’d tell me the truth? I should have known that you wouldn’t be honest with me.”
Her face reddened from the effort to comfort him. “You really aren’t a bad man. You haven’t seen the world’s truly bad people. If you’re a terrible man, then I’m an abominable woman. I betrayed my husband, abandoned my son, and ran away with Zhou Min, and now I’m with you. If you’re an awful man, it’s my fault.” A surge of emotion brought tears to her eyes. Zhuang stared blankly; he had wanted to share his grief, but what she had said only made him feel that he truly had done great harm to the woman. He reached out for her, but she shrank back and fell to her knees, and they cried facing each other.
Zhou Min was not home when they finally made it back. The table was empty except for his xun, which had a tiny yellow daisy stuck in the blowhole. Zhuang fixed his empty gaze on it for a while, but he did not dare touch it. She heated up some water to wash their feet and complained about his long toenails when she saw his. “Doesn’t she trim your nails?” She took out a pair of scissors to trim them for him despite his resistance. After putting his shoes back on, she placed her own small feet in his hands, “Rub my feet. I wore heels all day for your sake, and my feet hurt.” Zhuang massaged her feet, making her giggle. “I can’t stand it any longer,” she said with a sideways glance at him.
“We can’t,” Zhuang said. “He gets off work around now.”
“He’s been coming home after dark lately. You’re feeling low, and only I can help you relax. Do whatever you want, so long as it cheers you up,” she said. She was removing her hairpin to let her hair cascade down when the sound of a bicycle came from the gate. She quickly pulled her hair back into a ponytail, set her feet down to put on her shoes, and shouted, “Who is it? Who’s there?” She ran out to open the gate. Zhuang scooped up her stockings from the bed and draped them over the wire on the wall before walking out. Zhou Min was there to greet him, “So here you are, Zhuang Laoshi. I was going to go see you after we ate. Is dinner ready, Wan’er?”
“I ran into Zhuang Laoshi when I went out for some groceries, so I asked him to come in. We just got back. What would you like, Zhuang Laoshi? How about a fried-egg flat cake with purple rice porridge?”
“Go on in and make it.” Zhou parked his bike. “I heard you were ill, Zhuang Laoshi. Are you feeling better?”
“It’s nothing. I just felt terrible after Gong Jingyuan died and slept for a few days.”
“Everyone’s been talking about it. They’re all saying how emotionally attached you were to him.”
“Are they really?”
“Yes. You’re both celebrities, but your image is so much superior to his.”
“Let’s not talk about that. You said you were going to my house. Have you heard anything new? After all this time, the second hearing still hasn’t begun. Nothing seems to be moving. It could take years. Even a ghost would run out of patience. But Bai Yuzhu has been active, always wanting me to do something or other for him.”
“I’ve been seeing Sima Gong about every third day. I don’t take expensive gifts along, but each time it’s twenty or thirty yuan. I went again this afternoon, and he said there would be no second hearing. They’ve gotten to the bottom of things. The arguments from the writers and literature professors we sent over were critical and timely. The view in the court is to bring the case to a conclusion.”
“Did he say how?”
“He gave me a summary: Basically, there were some slip-ups in the article, but it didn’t reach the level of defamation, and since the magazine office has dealt with the author, they suggest mediation for both sides to reach an understanding and repair the friendship. That means we won the case. But Sima Gong said Jing Xueyin went to see the chief judge when she heard the decision; she even went to see the party secretary for the Municipal Committee on Politics and the Law, and now the chief judge wants them to submit a new report. At least Sima Gong was true to his word. The decision angered him, so he submitted the original report. The chief judge said to deal with the six-member review committee. Three are leaning in our direction, while the chief judge and the other two are on their side. It’s even, but if the chief judge shows his cards first, it’s hard to say what those on our side would do. They could change their minds, and even if they don’t, we’d lose if one of them abstained.”
Zhou stopped when he saw Zhuang lying on the sofa with his eyes shut. “Do you understand what I’m saying, Zhuang Laoshi?”
“Keep going.”
“That’s all I know.”
“So, what do you think?” Zhuang asked, his eyes still shut.
“This is a critical moment. The committee will meet again in ten days, because the chief judge is attending a meeting in Beijing. I think you should go see the mayor and ask him to work on the secretary of the Committee on Politics and the Law and the chief judge.”
“I can’t talk to the mayor about this. He’s not a friend, like Meng Laoshi, to whom I can say whatever I want. I’ve asked for his help before, but nothing dealing with legal matters, which was why he was dropping hints. We can’t ask him to help us this time. He’s in a leadership position and can only help out with matters that won’t undermine his status and authority.”
“Then—” Zhou Min was chastened.
Zhuang was about to say more, but changed his mind. Alerted by the silence that followed, Tang came in and saw that the two men were having a disagreement, so she quickly brought out the first three fried cakes. After eating one, Zhuang said he had had enough and needed to leave. Zhou tried but failed to get him to stay longer. “Take care, then.” Zhou walked him out to the lane.entrance
. . .
Before Zhuang arrived home, Zhou Min phoned Niu Yueqing from a pay phone at the lane entrance to tell her about his conversation with her husband. He asked her to talk Zhuang around, and she said she would try. The moment he walked in the door, she asked about the lawsuit, urging him to go see the mayor. He had to, she insisted, even if it meant a loss of face, for otherwise they might lose a lawsuit they expected to win. Zhuang blew up, cursing the devious Zhou Min; he had explained his reasons to Zhou, and yet Zhou had called their house before Zhuang even returned. Niu Yueqing kept trying, and Zhuang finally agreed to go see the mayor, though he couldn’t help but grumble about how easy it was for people to get him to do something.
He went to see the mayor the following morning, but the man was out, and Zhuang returned looking cheerful.
“Why are you happy you didn’t get to see him?” his wife asked. “You’ll have to go again, you know that, don’t you?”
“Don’t push me.”
“I know it’s awkward to ask for help, but we only have eight or nine more days. What will we do if you can’t find him at all?”
“I’ll go again tomorrow, then. What kind of writer have I become? I’ve lost my dignity! I’ll go to his house and wait for him, even if it means that I’ll die waiting there. But there’s one thing I have to make clear to you: You can’t interfere with what I do when I ask for the mayor’s help.”