“Yes, I do. You’ll be happy.” He nodded, eliciting a sarcastic laugh from the girl.
“Thank you very much, Zhuang Laoshi. You’re the one who gave me happiness.”
He looked up at her in surprise and saw that her eyes were fixed on him. With a sigh, he lowered his head again.
“My stay here hasn’t been long, but it hasn’t been short, either. I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve read many books, I’ve experienced many things, and I’ve had my fair share of the heavy cigarette smoke in this room. I’m leaving, but I really don’t want to go. Can I just sit here for a while and look at the sculpture of the Tang maiden you’ve said resembles me?”
“You’re not leaving until tomorrow, so this is still your home tonight. Sit down. I’ll give you the sculpture tomorrow.”
“Does that mean you’ll never again want me to be here with you?”
The question stopped him. “That’s not what I meant, Liu Yue. That was not what I wanted to give you, anyway. I want to give you something else.”
“What is it? Can I see it now?”
He took a lovely box out of his drawer and handed it to her. She opened it to see an ancient bronze mirror with inlaid flowers, decorated with a raised ridge encircled by an inscription: Exacting design and superb crafting, sparkling quality with fine craftsmanship, like a pearl in the morning sky or the moon at night. Use this to paint your brows, look into it to rouge your face, as you embroider at the window, all this is reflected within it.
“What a wonderful mirror!” she cried out. “Can you really bear to part with it?”
“I’m giving it to you because I can’t bear to part with it.”
“Tang Wan’er has one like this. It’s about the same size, with a similar design, except for the inscription. I asked her where she got it. She said she just had it. I didn’t think I’d ever have one, too.”
“That one was also from me.”
She paused. “You gave her that one? Since they’re from you, they must be a pair. So why are you giving this one to me?”
“I can never see her again. So any time I looked at this mirror, I couldn’t help thinking about the one — let’s not talk about her, Liu Yue.”
“I know you hate me, Zhuang Laoshi.” She hiked up her robe and sat down on a leather chair in front of the sofa. “You hate me because of Tang Wan’er. I admit I told Dajie everything, but it was partly because she beat me so savagely and partly because she was the one who found the message on the pigeon. She was suspicious when she read the note, and everything would have been fine if I’d kept quiet no matter how hard she hit me. But I didn’t. I told her a lot of things. Now I want to explain to you why I did that. I was jealous of Wan’er. I was jealous because, like me, she had no city residency and had run away with Zhou Min, worse than anything I’d done, yet she’d managed to win your heart. I’ve been at your side all along, and yet—”
“Stop it, Liu Yue. She didn’t win my heart. I was the one at fault. Don’t you think I ruined her? Everything is over now.”
“If that’s what you think, then haven’t you also ruined me? You’re marrying me off to the mayor’s son. Do you really think I can love him? I will have to close my eyes to marry him. It was you who changed Tang Wan’er and me into real women and gave us the courage and confidence to start a new life. And in the end, it was you who ruined us. But in the process, you also ruined yourself, your image, and your reputation, along with Dajie and this family.”
It finally dawned on Zhuang that this had been the root cause of his depression. He had failed to notice the girl’s insights all this time. Now she was leaving and would cease to be both a maid and someone he loved. Her comments were a souvenir. Could it be that she was like a candle that shines the brightest just before it goes out, or a lantern that fades away after emitting the strongest light? He looked up at the girl, who was still in the grip of her emotions.
“Liu Yue,” he said softly. She rushed toward him, and they were immediately locked in an embrace. Both were in tears.
“You’re right, Liu Yue. I created everything and then I destroyed it all. Nothing can be done about that now, and I am probably beyond saving. You’re still young, so be sure to start a new life once you’re married.”
Her tears fell onto his arms. “I’m afraid I can’t save myself once I’m with Dazheng,” she said. “Then what will I do? I’m scared, really scared. I’ll be his tomorrow, so I beg you to let me feel like Tang Wan’er on this final night.” Closing her eyes, she untied the belt of her robe. She was naked, her body like the jade-white flesh of a lychee with its bright red shell opened. He quietly examined her and moved his desk lamp over so that it would shine on her. ☐☐ ☐☐ ☐☐ [The author has deleted 200 words.] She cried out as the sofa inched toward the door until it bumped noisily against the jamb and jolted them both. Her head was bent at an angle, but when he tried to straighten out her body, she said, “Don’t stop. Don’t stop.” She kicked her feet against the door, knocking a scroll off the wall and sending it falling down to cover them. “The scroll is ruined,” she said, but neither made any attempt to remove it. ☐☐ ☐☐ ☐☐ [The author has deleted 422 words.]
“I’m so happy, Laoshi,” she said as she was leaving the smoky room. “By this time tomorrow my body will be under that cripple, but my heart will stay in this room.”
“Don’t talk like that, Liu Yue. You should hate me.”
“You needn’t worry about that.” She walked out and shut the door behind her. He listened to her receding footsteps and the sound of her opening another door. Then he collapsed onto the sofa.
. . .
Niu Yueqing got up at the crack of the dawn to tidy up the room and cook the congee before she went in to wake up Liu Yue. The girl got up and, embarrassed, went to get Zhuang, so they could eat together. After breakfast, she sat in the living room to brush her hair, paint her brows, place flowers in her hair, and put on her necklace and earrings, while insisting that Niu Yueqing and Zhuang sit next to her as her consultants. Two hours later, she was finally ready from head to toe, just as thunderous firecrackers went off. Niu Yueqing told her to take off her shoes and sit down on her bed, as she flung open the front door. Outside, a contingent of bridal escorts, who had come in twenty-two sedans, overflowed onto the streets outside the gate. Old Mrs. Wei, who had been given a red envelope containing money, tottered back and forth, smiling at each escort and keeping a close watch to stop any idlers from entering the compound gate. Dazheng, with a red flower in his lapel, was helped in to kowtow and bow to Zhuang Zhidie and Niu Yueqing, but Zhuang stopped him when he stretched his weak right leg back to get down on his knees. Zhuang said a bow would be enough, so Dazheng bowed deeply before going into the bedroom to put Liu Yue’s shoes on her. He then carried her off the bed and pinned a flower as red as his own to her dress. She watched him quietly, and when he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it after pinning on the flower, she twisted the corners of her mouth and said to Niu Yueqing and Zhuang, who were standing at the door to watch, “He’s copying Westerners.” Dazheng was so embarrassed, even his neck turned red. The escorts sat down to eat, drink, and smoke, admiring the scrolls on the wall and checking out the room full of books through the study door. When the clock struck ten, someone said, “Time to go.” An escort who was sprawled atop the gate entrance lit a huge string of firecrackers and let it hang down, creating an ear-shattering roar. Taking Liu’s hand in his, Dazheng started down the stairs, as three cameras clicked and a video camera rolled. He giggled and she glared at him, so he put on a serious look. Straining to keep his balance, he swayed from side to side and kept bumping into her. In the end, instead of letting him hold her hand, she clutched his hand tightly in hers, turning his arm into a lever to steady his body movements.