She phoned Meng Yunfang, who, after learning what had happened, reprimanded her for her unwise move. How could she leave home and not go back? How could she be thinking about a divorce? Her temper flared at his reproachful attitude. “Why is it all my fault? I might not have dealt with the situation properly, but was he right to do such sordid things? Should a wife treat a whoring husband with respect? He’s a celebrity, so naturally you’re all protecting him. Even a sore on his body is like a lovely peach blossom to you.”
She slammed down the phone after her outburst. Meng had also gone to the dark side, she thought, so she was surprised to see him show up that evening. He was all smiles as he walked in, even saying that he was there to receive a tongue-lashing from her. They sat down to talk, and she told him she couldn’t understand how Zhuang had become so degenerate.
“I can’t figure it out, either,” he said. “Other men have done worse, and they got off scot-free; poor Zhuang Zhidie, on the other hand, after meeting Tang Wan’er, sank to the point of losing his family, though he managed to stay alive.”
“Do you think he’s not degenerate enough?”
“What I can say is, he’s better than the other people in the city’s literary circles.”
“But he’s different from the others,” Niu Yueqing said after a moment of silence. “No one would think twice about it if it had been Ruan Zhifei, but people see Zhidie as an upright man with high moral standards, and they’d be hard-pressed to accept what’s happened. Who knows how many people he’s destroyed, in addition to himself? He didn’t walk out on the marriage, but he’s been sleeping in the study; he hasn’t asked for a divorce, but it’s only a matter of time. Why would I want to hang on to him if that’s what will happen eventually?”
“You’re right about that. Other men’s affairs are for temporary pleasure, but Zhidie has truly fallen in love. He’s really a forthright man. I have never been thrilled about his relationship with her. It’s all right to seek diversions in life, but how is she different from a wife, the way they are now?”
That did not please Niu Yueqing. “So do you mean it would be okay for him to fool around, falling for every woman he meets and then tossing them aside one by one, while sweet-talking me into accepting his behavior?”
“Marriage is one thing, love is another; they’re not the same but are two halves of the same thing. He’s lived in this city for decades, but instead of adopting modern ideas, he still has the mentality of country folk.”
“What I want is, marriage is love and love is marriage.”
“You and Zhidie have never agreed with me on this point, and see what’s happened? See the suffering you’re experiencing?”
“Let’s not talk about that now, Yunfang, since we’ll never agree. I’ll bring you a glass of water if you want; if not, you can go do whatever you need to do.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” His face reddened and he laughed awkwardly. “Well, I’m not leaving yet. I’ve gotten so used to your cooking, I won’t leave till you feed me.”
Niu Yueqing sobbed over her sad state. The more she cried, the more forlorn she looked, which prompted Meng to apologize. “Yueqing, I have a big mouth. You probably don’t like what I’ve said, but I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that you have my total sympathy. When Zhidie talked about having you stay here, I didn’t go along with him. Instead, I said, ‘Zhidie, in all honesty, you have to admit that Yueqing is a good wife. She’s been married to you for over a decade, and she has no serious flaws. Could you live with yourself if you left her?’”
“I don’t need your sympathy. I could tell he didn’t ask for a divorce because he felt sorry for me and was worried about my future. That shows he hasn’t lost his conscience. But do I need sympathy? No, what I need is love. Don’t think I don’t love him. It’s precisely because I still love him that I want to let him have what he’s wishing for and marry Tang Wan’er.”
“Marry Tang Wan’er? So you don’t know that she’s been taken back to Tongguan by her husband.”
That caught her by surprise. “Well, the slut’s gotten her just deserts. So she’s back home after stirring up so much trouble?”
“No need to curse her, the poor thing.”
“Poor thing? She’s a slut.”
“Now that she’s gone, why don’t you and Zhidie get back together? You’ve both gotten your feelings hurt over this, and you’ll need time to recover, but it would be good for everyone if you two could patch things up. Take me, for example: I will still have a place to go for food and drink.”
“I’ll feed you when you come,” Niu Yueqing said. “I’m just worried you’ll never come here again.”
“If I don’t get to eat or drink, that’s no big deal, but do you think the two of you will be happy for the rest of your lives once you’ve gotten past what you’re suffering now?”
“With his status and fame, if he can’t marry Tang Wan’er after the divorce, he could easily find an eighteen-year-old or a twenty-year-old. He won’t be unhappy. I will never be able to find another celebrity, but I think it wouldn’t be all that hard for me to marry a factory worker or an office clerk. Or I may just stay single and be with my mother.”
“Why are you so stubborn? If wives had been like you in the old polygamous society, they would all have killed themselves. I’ll go talk to him if you think you could let him off the hook. I’ve said this before: Never lose your foundation, no matter what. Don’t end up like me. I loathed my first wife, so I divorced her and remarried, but now I think my first wife was better. I dream about Meng Jin’s mother and have never once dreamed about Xia Jie.”
“So you want him to keep two burners going at the same time, is that it? That’s a lousy idea.”