“You don’t lack for money, so why don’t you wear fashionable clothes? And you use far fewer cosmetic products than my previous employer.”
“Zhuang Laoshi nags me about that.” Niu Yueqing smiled. “And now you. Do I really look that frumpy?”
“It’s not that. You’re at an age when it’s important to make yourself look nice. With what you have, you only need to put in ten percent effort to look a hundred percent better.”
“I don’t like to keep changing my hairstyle or put on makeup so I can look like a stage actress. Zhuang Laoshi says I never change, so I asked him why I needed to. I gave up a career to be a good homemaker. He wouldn’t be able to write in peace if I dressed up like a vixen and, like the fashionable women out there, spent my days shopping at the mall, strolling in parks, drinking coffee at hotels, and doing disco at a dance hall.”
Unable to respond, Liu Yue changed the subject. “Do you read Zhuang Laoshi’s novels, Dajie?”
“I’ve read a few, but they don’t draw me in.”
“I’ve read every one of them, and I think he’s best at describing women.”
“People do say he’s good at portraying women, making them look like goddesses. Earlier this year an editor from Beijing asked him to write for them, and she said the same thing, with a comment that he’s a feminist. I don’t know a thing about feminism.”
“That’s not how I see it. I think he’s very detailed in his psychological portrayal of women. I think I read something similar to what you just said. In his descriptions, women are beautiful and kind, while men are simple on the surface but have complex inner worlds and are very cautious. That can only mean he’s sexually repressed.”
“He’s sexually repressed?” Niu Yueqing said with a laugh before jabbing at the girl’s forehead. “How should I put it? You silly girl, what do you know about sexual repression? You’ve never been married, let alone been in love. Let’s talk about something else. Spray some water on the grass you gathered and take it to the bathroom to store in the shade. Otherwise it will wilt in the yard under the hot sun and won’t be fresh and tender for the cow tomorrow.”
“Talk of cows,” she said when she returned, “unsettles me. Something bizarre once happened in our village. When a man named Zhang Laizi’s father was alive, they were doing so well he lent eighty yuan to Laizi’s maternal uncle. One day, Laizi’s father was crushed to death while digging a hole. Laizi went to his uncle to get the money back, but his uncle denied ever borrowing the money. That led to an argument. His uncle swore that he would be reborn as a cow if he had borrowed money, so Laizi left without the money. In March of the same year, the cow at Laizi’s house gave birth to a calf, and the moment the calf was born, someone came to tell him that his uncle had just died. Laizi knew that the calf was his uncle’s reincarnation and was very sad. He raised the calf with great care, never taking it to work the field. One day he took it to the river for water. The cow stopped when they met someone from a neighboring village carrying clay pots. Laizi said, ‘Why are you stopping, Uncle?’ The man was puzzled why Laizi had called the cow ‘Uncle.’ When Laizi explained, he learned about the uncle’s death and shed a few tears, for he had known him. To their surprise, the cow kicked over the man’s carrying pole, breaking all the pots. Laizi asked the man how much they cost so he could pay him back. The man told him the price was forty yuan, but said, ‘There’s no need to pay me. I borrowed forty yuan from your uncle, and he has demanded payment for the debt.’ Dajie, the cow made me break my bracelet, so did I really owe it something in a previous life?”
“Even if you did, you’re all square now, aren’t you?” Niu Yueqing replied. “You heard what Zhuang Laoshi said. I have no use for that jade bracelet of mine, and you can have it.” Niu Yueqing went to get the bracelet and put it on the girl’s wrist. It fit perfectly, as if it were made for her. From then on, Liu Yue often rolled up her sleeve to show off her fair arm.
The next morning, after Liu Yue helped Zhuang drink milk at the gate and fed the cow the fresh grass, Niu Yueqing left for work. Zhuang stayed behind to chat with Aunty Liu and watch the cow enjoy the grass. Liu Yue went inside and, with nothing to do, got a book to read in the study. When he moved back, Zhuang had asked her to bring over a large number of books from the apartment in the Literary Foundation compound. Liu Yue had left all the antiques and other objets d’art behind, taking only the clay figurine, which she placed on the desk in the study. Now that she thought she might have owed the cow something, she recalled how, when she first arrived, people had commented on her resemblance to the figurine. To her, it could have been a different kind of karmic connection, which prompted her to come look at it daily. She was soon engrossed in the book. When Zhuang came in, she got up to go into the living room.
“Don’t worry,” Zhuang said. “Go ahead and read. I can still write.”
She sat back down to read but could not get back into the book. She liked the feel of the study at that moment: one person writing and one reading. The thought made her blush. She looked up at the figurine, with its hint of a shy smile. She admired her doppelgänger and, envying the figurine, said to herself, I can only read near him for a while, but you’re with him from the moment he comes in. She gave the figurine a pouty smile.
“What are you two talking about, Liu Yue?”
“Nothing.” She was embarrassed.
“I could hear you talking with your eyes.”
Now her face was as red as a peach blossom. “Instead of concentrating on your writing, Zhuang Laoshi, you were eavesdropping.”
“Ever since you came, people say this figurine looks like you, and it does feel as if it’s alive. When I come in to read or write, I always sense that she’s looking at me. Now a living Tang figure is sitting here, so how am I going to focus on my writing?”
“Do I really look like her?”
“The mole between your brows is the only difference.”
Liu Yue reached up to touch her forehead, but couldn’t find the mole.
“Is it ugly?”
“It’s a beauty mark.”
She laughed, but quickly stopped with a shrug of her shoulders. “I have another one on my arm,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.
Reminded of the moles on Tang Wan’er’s body, Zhuang was distracted. Liu Yue rolled up her thin silk sleeve, which was loose enough to expose her arm, fair and well formed, like a section of lotus root. She raised it to check the mole on her elbow, giving him a good view of her lush armpit hair. He took her arm in his hands.
“You have a lovely arm, Liu Yue.” He bent down to give it a wet kiss. Right then the sound of children cheering came through the window, as a kite rose up into the air.
. . .
When the cow saw Liu Yue come with an armful of grass, she rewarded her with a grateful look. To the cow, the young woman and the house seemed familiar. It took several nights of reflection before she recalled her former life, also as a cow, when she was one of the thirteen water-carrying beasts working for the Water Bureau at Shuangren fu. The woman had been a cat at the bureau. One day, after the cattle returned with 104 receipts from delivering 52 buckets of water, the cat took two of the receipts to play with at the wall while the owner sat down to smoke and then doze off. The receipts were lost, incurring punishment for the cattle and their owner. Later she was sold to someone in Mount Zhongnan, where she was reborn, again as a cow. Lured by a fish, the gluttonous cat was skinned and turned into a neck warmer before being reincarnated as a human being in the northern Shaanxi countryside. Chewing the cud is a form of contemplation for cows. It differs from human ruminations in that it allows them to go back in time to recapture, though not always clearly, early images. This difference between humans and beasts means that cows know more than humans, which is why they do not need to read. Humans, on the other hand, remain in a state of ignorance after birth, knowing only how to eat and drink; they go to school to learn, but by the time they know how to think, they are nearing the end of their lives. Those who come after them repeat the process, going to school to dispel the ignorance of their own age, which explains why humans never grow big and tall. The cow wanted to explain all this to humans, but unfortunately was unable to use human speech. Oftentimes humans cannot recall what happened in the past, and after something has taken place, they open their thread-bound books to read “How can there be such astonishing similarities in history!” They sigh. The cow had to laugh at the pitiable humans.