After I drop the girls off at all of their respective drop sites, I head over to Prestige. Walking in the door, I let out a snort as I look at Harlow.
“Sporting the after Wednesday night look as well my dear friend?” Harlow is in the process of popping ibuprofen in her mouth. Her hair is in a pony tail, which is an extremely rare occurrence.
“I totally blame you for this look, actually,” Harlow snaps back, obviously not in the mood for my first-rate sarcasm this morning.
“Well then, we’re even because I didn’t get an ounce of sleep last night thanks to you. After you left, I went into the attic and found some random box labeled ‘Alex’s Stuff’ – did you do that by the way because your labeling is completely unacceptable. Anyway, I opened it, and found the charm bracelet Blake gave me when we were kids. You remember which one I’m talking about, right?” I watch Harlow give a slight nod yes, obviously in too much pain for a full-fledged head shake.
“Well, I had some unfortunate memories about him, and then proceeded to have some even more unfortunate memories revolving around Derek’s death. So needless to say, if we’re playing the blame game, I win…by a freakin’ landslide.”
I think I just word vomited on myself. I need some coffee.
“Okay…you win,” Harlow says emphatically surrendering. “Sorry for the drunken lecture. But honestly, we don’t have that many chances to really talk, ya know? I said what I felt needed to be said and what I know you needed to hear.”
“I know, Harlow. It doesn’t make it easy to take though. I know everything you said is true, but honestly, I’m just not ready. Maybe someday, but not now.”
Sighing extremely loudly, Harlow places the ibuprofen bottle on the counter. “I’m not getting into this with you today, Alex. I’m too tired and too hung over.”
“That’s completely fine by me,” I say as my cell starts ringing. “What the–”
“Who is it?”
“Oh. My. God. I completely forgot I left a message with his parents. It’s Blake.”
Covering her mouth in an effort to try to hide her obvious amusement, Harlow asks, “Well, are you going to answer it?”
“Hell no, I’m not going to answer it.” I throw my phone back into my purse. “I don’t have time for this shit, Harlow. So what, he’s here after all of these years? Honestly, I don’t care. It has nothing to do with me. I haven’t spoken to the man in years. There’s nothing to say. He did me a favor. Big freakin’ whoop. I’m not obligated to answer his phone calls. So I’m not going to.”
“Okay…jeez, Lucifer. I was just asking a question. You sure are defensive about a phone call.” Harlow’s enjoying this. I can tell by the delighted look on her face. I decide to squash any thoughts that may be going on in that devious mind of hers.
“Well, I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Harlow. I’m broken. And I don’t anticipate being fixed anytime soon. And I sure as hell don’t expect Blake Morgan to be my cure. Nor do I want him to be. I’m comfortable where I am in my life,” I say walking into my office. “I don’t want to hear anything else about Blake Morgan. Ever!” I shout at Harlow, slamming my door.
I swear I hear her laughing, but I choose to not acknowledge it. I sit down at my desk and look at my phone. Shit, he left a voice mail.
After staring at my phone for five minutes, I delete the message without even listening to it. There’s nothing Blake has to say that I want to hear. Now or ever.
Well…it seems my gut feeling was spot on, as usual, about Harlow and her new potential man, Trace. He calls while I’m deleting my unheard message from Blake. Harlow excitedly rushes into my office and demands that I accompany her on Friday to meet Trace. He got the job with Synergy and wants to meet for drinks to celebrate. Evidently this is some kind of girl code I’m unaware of….number one, because I haven’t been on the dating scene in a ridiculously long time. And two, because Harlow never bothers to “date” anyone.
Very interesting.
I accept because, while I do love Harlow, I really just need a good girl’s night out. So, if nothing else, it will be an enjoyable evening with my friend. With a little bit of Trace thrown in...
Friday “day” comes and goes, and now I find myself in my bathroom, putting make-up on with my mother-in-law Nancy, aka the babysitter – also aka Derek’s mother, sitting on the bathtub behind me discussing the schedule for this evening.
“We’re meeting Trace at George’s Bar at seven. After that, I have no idea.” I chuckle as I look at Nancy in the mirror. “You have met Harlow right?”
Smiling back, Nancy nods her head. “Yes, I have. I’ll stay however long you need me. Actually, I’ll probably just take the girls to my house for the night so there’s no need to hurry back. You girls enjoy your evening. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be just fine.”
After a few second of silence, Nancy speaks again. “I heard Blake Morgan’s in town.”
“What? Blake Morgan?” I ask innocently. Seriously, is there a Blake Morgan convention going on that I don’t know about? “Yeah, I ran into him earlier this week. How do you know Blake?”
“Alex, he and Derek were friends, don’t you remember? He used to come over to our house with Derek after the football games. Very sweet boy as I remember,” she says as though lost in a memory.
“Yeah, well he may have been sweet, but Derek was the only one for me. You know that. I didn’t really notice anyone else in high school. I don’t really think he would have appreciated that much.”
I shoot her a smug smile. I really don’t want to get into this with her before my much needed girls’ night.
“I know. I was just thinking that maybe –”
“Um, no. Don’t start. I’ve already gone into this with Harlow and I don’t feel like rehashing it with you. I’m still in love with Derek, Nancy. It wouldn’t be fair to start something with someone else. I would think that you, especially, would appreciate that.” I apply the second coat of mascara to my lashes.
Leaning forward and placing both hands on the counter, I will myself to meet her eyes in the mirror. I’m so sick and tired of this conversation.
She shakes her head disapprovingly. “It’s not about me, dear. It’s about you. It’s about how you’re choosing to live out the remainder of your own life. I still love Derek too, honey. But honestly, Alex, my son loved you more than anything. And I know that he would not have wanted this life for you. Just because you move on with someone else doesn’t mean you love him any less, sweetheart. Your happiness was the most important thing to him and he would be heartbroken to see you living this shell of a life you are living now.”
Well, shit. Use of the Derek guilt card by one Nancy Meyer.
“Nancy, I’m not ready. When I am, I’ll be sure to let everyone know, since my love life has become everyone’s favorite past time and talking point. Until then, I don’t want to hear anymore about it. And I don’t want to hear any more about Blake. I wasn’t interested in him then and I’m not interested in him now. Actually, I would’ve preferred that he’d never come back here, honestly. Just thinking about him makes me angry and I think it’s better that we don’t discuss him right now. Okay?” Nancy drops her eyes to the floor.
“Alright, sweetie. In your own time I guess. But just keep in mind what I said. It’s okay for you to let go, when you’re ready,” she replies.
I soften my voice and walk over to where she’s sitting. She stands up and I take her hand gently into mine.
“Nancy, I don’t mean to be short with you. It’s just been a rough couple of days. I’m really sorry. I love you, you know that don’t you?”
Bringing me into a tight embrace, she quietly says, “Yes, dear, and I love you as though you’re my own daughter.” She steps back and gives me a once over. “You look beautiful, Alex. You really do. You just go have fun tonight, and forget all this grown up stuff for a while. You deserve the break.” She gives me a quick peck on the cheek before leaving me alone to finish getting ready.