When Blake emerges, I take in a deep breath through my nose, hold it my lungs and brace myself against the couch. I know it is my imagination, but for a split second, I swear it’s Derek walking out of the bathroom. An electrical shock whizzes through my entire body, and by the time my brain grasps the fact that it is just Blake, my heart is already nearly beating out of my chest.
Blake watches me for a second, as though trying to make sure I’m okay. I give him a weak smile. “Sorry, it just took me a little by surprise.”
“Alex, if it bothers you, I can–”
“No, Blake. It’s okay, really. It was just a bit of a shock. It’s fine, I promise. If I wasn’t comfortable I would let you know,” I say, attempting to persuade both of us. I’ve opened up so much to him tonight; I’m not going to let something as small as seeing him in Derek’s clothes ruin how far we’ve come this evening. I shared things with him that I haven’t even shared with Harlow. This friendship is important. I trust him, and he needs to know that. Even though I’m still a little freaked out, I smile and add, “Let’s see what’s on TV before these pills take me to never-never land.”
We both plop down on the couch. He sits at the other end, obviously trying to give me space if I need it. So to let him know I’m okay, I turn so I can put my feet in his lap and lay back on the throw pillow behind me. Putting my hurt hand above my head as I lay there, I grab the remote and start flipping through the channels.
We ultimately end up on The Breakfast Club, laughing at the coincidence because we lived and breathed this movie growing up. As we watch it now, in my living room sitting side by side, I feel like I’m twelve years old again. We laugh with each other as we quote our favorite lines from the movie out loud.
We’re right in the middle of the scene where Jon Bender is re-enacting the life at ‘Big Bri’s’ house. As soon as fishing and doing homework on the boat are mentioned, I turn to Blake, excitement flooding my features.
“Oh my god! Blake! That totally reminds me! I was going through some things the other day and I found something very interesting!” I bolt up excitedly to fetch my recently found treasure. Unfortunately, as soon as my feet hit the ground, the room starts spinning around a full 360° and I fall back to the couch. Okay, the pain pills are definitely working, which makes sense seeing as though I just jumped up without feeling any pain in my hand at all.
Blake is immediately in front of me. “Alex, we can just do it later. Seriously, you can’t even stand up right now,” he says with concern in his eyes.
Annoyed, I start to push myself off the couch but I’m unable to find my balance. I fall back onto the couch. Blake lets out a laugh.
“Why don’t you just tell me what it is and you can show me tomorrow, when you’re not under narcotic influence.”
“Ha-ha, Blake,” I say sarcastically. “You’re the one who made me take the damn things, so you lose all right to make fun of me.” I think I’m starting to feel a little drunk. I sigh loudly and notice my face feels numb. I rub it with my hand and pull my lip out. I’m not surprised when I don’t feel a thing.
With a chuckle, Blake grabs me under my knees and arms and whips me against his chest. I’m completely off the ground. I look down and start giggling.
“So thisiswhatitfeelslike,” I start to slur.
Still chuckling, Blake asks, “What what feels like?”
I roll my eyes because all of a sudden, I’m super annoyed he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. “Hello! To be this tall…you’re a freakin’ giant!” I laugh to myself because I have just become the most hilarious person in the world.
Blake looks at me, his eyes full of amusement. While he’s staring, I allow myself to gaze into them. My face is dangerously close to his, so close I can feel the heat from his skin. I peer into his beautiful green eyes, feeling strangely sober all of a sudden. I inhale a quick breath. “Yeah, things definitely look a lot different from up here.”
I begin to feel the room starting to spin again so I stick my head into his neck and breathe in his scent. Leather and soap. “Mmm,” I let out as I smile to myself. I feel so peaceful.
It’s so nice, that I almost protest when he lets go of my body to lay me down on my bed. Sadly, I’m too tired to put up the necessary fight. So I lay there as he fluffs the pillow behind my head and pulls the covers up to my neck. I put my arms over the covers and smile a drunken smile.
“Blake, I’m so glad you’re here. You make my life…happy…” I say as I begin to feel the heaviness of my lids. Jeez – when did my eyelids become one hundred pound dumbbells?
“Thank…you…” is all I can manage to get out before sleep finds me. And for the first time in years, I don’t dream about Derek’s death or sadness or darkness. I dream about lakes and fishing and warmth from the sun with a beautiful boy in front of me. I can’t see his face. All my eyes can gather is how the sun just barely peeks though the strands of his light brown hair. The vision soothes my soul. And as I continue to sleep, I find my heart completely enveloped by a warm ray of peace and tranquility… providing a brief solace from the pain and emptiness I’m so used to greeting me every night.
Waking the next morning, I extend my arms above my head and stretch the entire length of my body, all the way to my toes. The warmth of the sun hitting my face reminds me of my peaceful slumber. My heart feels full of joy. So much so, that I’m pretty sure this goofy grin is stuck on my face for a while. Well, I hope it is anyway.
I let out a content sigh and smile as I bring my arms back over my head. I catch sight of my hand as it passes in front of my face. I'm pretty sure these throbbing fingers were not part of my peaceful slumber, but I continue smiling because it seems that not even that can bring me down right now. I sniff the air and my stomach rumbles as I notice the distinct smell of bacon in my house.
What are they up to?
I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and give myself one last stretch before I stand. I reach over to grab my pink fluffy robe and throw it on over my P.J.’s. Making a quick stop by the bathroom, I wash my face (again, one handed), brush my teeth, and attempt to tame my hair. I’m really missing my pony tail look right now, because this look is not at all flattering.
Once I’m done, I walk through the living room and as I approach the kitchen, I begin to notice murmuring. I hear the rumble of Blake’s low voice and the unmistakable giggles of my girls.
Coming up on the kitchen, I tiptoe as to not disturb whatever they’re doing. I’m barely able to poke my head through the doorway when my breath catches in my throat at the sight before me. Riley’s sitting on the counter in her red and white polka dotted Minnie Mouse night gown, grinning up at Blake as he stands next to her. He’s holding a spatula and watching whatever is sizzling in the skillet. If I wasn’t completely speechless right now, I probably would be making a big deal about how close my baby is to that skillet.
My eyes graze over to where I see Nycole and Kyndall, still in their matching Super Mario Bros nightgowns, munching on some chocolate chips while adding the rest to a bowl of batter. Lucky for them I’m still rendered speechless…
I watch Nycole grab the wooden spoon from the counter and stir while Kyndall continues to pour more chocolate chips into the bowl. They mischievously look at each other and grin, and I find myself wondering how many chocolate chips they’ve actually got in there. My eyes move back over to Blake, still in Derek’s pajama pants and shirt. Bare feet on my floor in front of the stove. His hair is in its usual sexy morning routine as it flips out everywhere on his head and neck.