“Well…regardless, they need some time. Let’s get dinner and dancing ready. I’m ready to tucker these kiddos out. I need some mommy time.”
“Yeah, I figured you might after today. Hence the second bottle of wine.”
“Right. And what’s your reason for every other Wednesday?”
“Umm…” I give her a quick smile for her efforts.
“Yeah, well, don’t strain your brain. I’m so ready to get this night started. Hey – while I get everything ready, can you go check on your nieces? But peek in, don’t let them see you. I just want to make sure there are no unfortunate incidents with any cleaning products tonight.”
Harlow belts out a laugh and makes her way to the bathroom. “Yes. Let’s do that. I prefer to avoid that situation from happening again if at all possible. I really don’t feel like frantically jumping in the shower for fear of Rylie losing her hair…or her eyesight. I would like to remain low key tonight. Well, as low key as possible in this crazy house.” I lose sight of her as she pokes her head into the bathroom.
Leaving the pizzas in the living room, I carry the wine into the kitchen and put it in the fridge.
Obviously, Harlow didn’t continue “peeking in” as I requested, because about five seconds after I enter the kitchen, I hear “Harlow!” cheers from the other room. I also hear suspect murmuring and lowered voices. There’s absolutely no telling what bargain Harlow is striking with them right now. I shudder to think.
I assume they pass the cleaning inspection, though, because shortly after I see them all carrying dollar bills around with huge grins on their faces.
“Everyone in the living room please!” I yell, grabbing the plates and heading towards the living room. Slowly but surely, everyone takes their usual seats. Harlow sits on the couch with Rylie in her lap and Nycole and Kyndall sitting on either side of her. And me…on the floor criss-cross applesauce because let’s face it, I’m old news. Pizza on the coffee table, we all dig in as the girls tell Harlow about their day.
“Hah-low.” Harlow has no choice but to look at Rylie as she places one hand on each side of her face and forces her to turn her head. “Hah-low listen to me. You listening?” Harlow laughs and nods her head. Rylie smiles back at her. “Guess what! I did not go to time out today. I was a good girl. My teacher said so.”
“Really? I am so proud of you Rylie. Are you sure you didn’t go to time out today?” Harlow asks, knowing as well as I do that when she offers up information like that, it’s usually not a good sign.
“Yes ma’am. I’m sure. I was a good girl, ‘cause I am bigger. I’m not little anymore,” Rylie says in reference to the fact that she just moved into “the big girls” class in school.
“Yes, you are a big girl,” Harlow says very seriously. “You’re so big I think it’s time for you to move out and get your own place.” She winks at me and turns back to Rylie.
Grimacing, Rylie states, “Hah-low. Stop saying that. You’re makin’ me crazy.”
“Yeah, well, consider us even then,” Harlow says right before smiling and planting a big kiss on Rylies’ cheek.
“How about you, Kyndall? How was your day? Anything interesting happen to you today?” We all turn to look at Kyndall. Mouth full of pizza, she answers Harlow’s question. “I played with my friend Abby.”
Pet peeve number one – talking with a mouthful. Especially Kyndall because she’s still got quite a bit of space left in between her front two teeth.
Harlow jumps a little and then wipes her cheek. “Kyndall, honey, say it don’t spray it!” Nycole and I burst into laughter. Kyndall giggles and finishes her bite. “Sorry Harlow. I forgot to swallow first!”
“It’s okay, hon. Go on with your story.” Harlow glances at me with wide eyes, as though she can’t believe she just got pegged in the face with a chewed up piece of pepperoni. I let out another little giggle. I can’t help it.
“Well, I played with Abby today. And we both told jokes. Wanna hear ‘em?” She flashes an excited, dimple filled smile.
“Go for it!” Harlow distances herself from Kyndall before she begins. I’m pretty sure this is a precautionary measure.
“What do you call a bear with no teeth?” We all wait in anticipation.
“A gummy bear!” She giggles out loud. Nycole just shakes her head.
“Want another one? What did the lion say after he ate the clown?”
“WHAT?” Rylie pipes in.
“Something tastes funny!” This time Kyndall and Rylie let out giggles. Catching on to the game, Rylie jumps off of Harlow’s lap and stands in front of us. “Wanna hear my joke, Hah-low?”
“Sure!” Harlow watches Rylie twist her body from side to side.
“What do you call a bear who eats a clown?”
We all look at each other knowing this is in no way a real joke. Once she has our undivided attention again, she delivers the punch line.
“Poop!” She breaks into uncontrollable laughter at her own joke. So typical. Both her laughing at herself and her use of the word poop.
“Rylie, please don’t say poop.” I’m trying very unsuccessfully to not giggle myself, because now she’s rolling around on the ground as if she just said the funniest thing in the world. Everyone’s looking around at each other when Kyndall finally says, “I don’t get it.” And that does it. We all break into a collective fit of laughter. Great. I’m encouraging my daughter to say poop because it makes people laugh. Mother. Of. The. Year.
Once we all quiet down, Harlow continues her line of questioning, this time focusing on Nycole.
“Nycole – how was your day sweetheart? Did you learn anything new?”
Nycole finishes her bite of pizza before answering. Thank you, Nycole.
“Nope.”
Harlow and I exchange glances. “Really,” Harlow continues. “You didn’t learn anything at school today?”
“Nope.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
“Not one thing?” I can tell Harlow’s trying to break her. She gets some kind of sick thrill out of it.
“Nope.”
“Not one, little bitty, eensie weensie, teenie tiny thing?”
“Nope.” I have to end this now. We could go on all night.
“Nycole, for the love of all that is holy, please tell Harlow one thing you learned today!”
Nycole sighs loudly. “Fine.” She fixes her eyes on Harlow. “I learned not to sit anywhere close to Kyndall while she’s eating. Because Harlow still has a huge piece of pizza on her cheek.” Harlow immediately puts her hand up to her cheek.
I glance over at Nicole and watch as a mischievous grin spreads across her face. She watches Harlow as she begins running her hands all over her face, making sure to remove any possible remnants of Kyndall’s dinner. When she’s done, she looks to Nycole for approval.
“Gotcha!” Nycole shouts and runs out of the room. Harlow jumps up off the couch and runs after her. Rylie and Kyndall follow, shrieking with delight.
And this is when the real fun of Wild and Wacky Wednesday begins. I couldn’t be happier to not be thinking about anything that occurred earlier today. This was my time to not think. To just have fun…with all of my girls.
So after the next three hours of talking, laughing, dancing, bathing, brushing and reading…Harlow and I finally get the girls to bed. I take in a deep breath to relax. It feels like I have been going all day.
I walk over to the couch and deposit myself beside Harlow. That’s when I feel her staring at me. “What?” I say widening my eyes.
“You.”
“Me? What about me?”
Harlow sighs rather forcefully and I start to get the feeling I’m really not going to like this conversation.
“Are you going to say anything about what happened today? I know seeing Blake threw you for a bit of an emotional loop, a fact made evident by your breakdown at the office. I’m just wondering if you would like to have the chance to go on the offensive before I start my assessment of the situation,” Harlow states matter-of-factly.