This was the beginning of our downward spiral, and now, six months later, I was at a stand still. I didn’t know what to do about the situation, and I refused to bring my problems to my friends or Ryder’s brothers because they had their own shit to work through. They didn’t need my drama added to theirs.
The only thing I could do was turn a blind eye to the situation, which meant ignoring Ryder. I knew it was wrong to brush our problems under the carpet, but knowing any attempt to deal with it would turn into a screaming contest kept my mouth shut.
It was hurting me though. I didn’t know what had gone wrong in order for Ryder not to talk to me or trust me anymore, but whatever happened, it was enough to change him. He wasn’t the man I once knew, and it broke my heart.
I shook my head clear and grabbed my shower bag. I had been sleeping in Dominic’s old room once or twice a week when fighting got bad between Ryder and myself, and last night was once of those nights. Usually, I’d shower in any of the bathrooms in the house when I couldn’t use another one, but I preferred the shower in my and Ryder’s master bathroom. It was bigger and the showerhead was made so it was like a waterfall raining water onto your head instead of a little spray.
I made my way down the stairs and headed into my room. It was empty, as expected. I didn’t know where Ryder was; he probably didn’t come home last night. He sometimes did that. Since I had two hours until I needed to leave for work, I would enjoy my shower and wash away my latest fight with Ryder, and try and relax.
It was something I hadn’t done it a while.
I headed into the bathroom, and was surprised when steam puffed into my face. I dismissed it and closed the door behind me and turned towards the shower. I walked head first into a hard, wet chest.
I gasped and looked up. When my eyes landed on him, I swallowed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.”
I didn’t know you were home at all.
Ryder looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. “It’s your bathroom too, don’t be sorry.”
I slowly nodded.
“Are you still giving me the silent treatment?” he asked on a sigh.
“I don’t know. Are you still being an arsehole who can’t answer a few simple questions?” I countered.
“Yeah,” he quipped. “Seems I am.”
I lifted my hand and wiggled my fingers for him to move out of my way, giving him my reply. Silently.
“Only you could give a huge ‘fuck you’ with a singlehanded gesture and silence.”
I rolled my eyes, and tried to push by him.
Ryder didn’t move, he just continued to stare down at me. I didn’t like how he was openly raking his eyes over my body like I was a piece of meat, so I returned the favour. Only that backfired very quickly because I adored the view on display.
I found my eyes slowly, very slowly, scanning their way down Ryder’s chiselled, tattooed body and fuck me if it didn’t stir something lower in my abdomen. I licked my lips as I watched a droplet of water run from his chest, down to the beautiful defined oblique muscles at the base of his torso.
Fuck.
He was hotter than ever, all the extra hours of workouts he had been putting in over the last few months were clearly working and my eyes reaped the rewards. I badly wanted to run my hands, and tongue, all over him, but I remembered how things were between us and it dampened down the rise in my temperature.
“Enjoying the view?” he asked, his voice so low it hardened my nipples.
I snapped my eyes up to Ryder’s and found him smirking down at me.
“So what if I am?” I challenged and broke my vow of silence by speaking.
I gasped when he suddenly grabbed hold of my forearms and forced me to step back until my back hit the bathroom door. I almost groaned out loud when his pelvis pressed against mine and I felt the hardened length of his cock press into me.
Shit.
“Careful, Branna,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I might think you actually want me with the fire in those pretty eyes of yours.”
I narrowed my eyes. “It’s not like you’ll fuckin’ do anythin’ about it.”
Ryder’s grip on my arms tightened.
“Excuse me?” he asked through clenched teeth.
I cleared my throat. “We haven’t had sex in months. Somethin’ about me has put you off wantin’ to have sex with me so I doubt you’ll do anythin’ to me no matter how much heat is in my eyes… or knickers.”
Fuck it.
If he thought he was going to intimidate me with his manhandling ways then he had another thing coming. He hadn’t put his hands on me in such a way in the longest time, and I was savouring his touch because I knew when I left the bathroom, it probably wouldn’t happen again for another few months.
“You think I’m not attracted to you?” Ryder asked, shock evident in his tone.
I shrugged. “What else am I supposed to think? There was a time when you couldn’t keep your hands off me, now you can barely stand to be close to me.”
Ryder growled, lowered his head, and thrust his hips against me.
I shuddered.
“Does it feel like I’m not attracted to you?” he almost snarled.
I looked away and remained mute.
“Branna,” he rumbled. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”
An electric jolt of pure pleasure shot straight to my clit and pulsed at his demanding tone. I licked my lips, turned my head and looked up at him, my mouth hanging open as I began to pant. Ryder lowered his head and surprised me when he snaked his tongue out and ran it over my bottom lip. I closed my eyes and almost hummed when he closed his lips around it and sucked it into his mouth.
Whatever control I had snapped because one second I was allowing Ryder to suck and nibble on my lower lip, and the next I was climbing him like a fucking tree. My hands were all over him, and his all over me. It’s like we were animals and roughly feeling one another to make sure what was happening was real, and not a figment of our imagination.
“Ryder,” I breathed against his mouth and tried to take a step backwards, but his hold on me was solid and kept me in place.
He lowered his lips from my mouth to my neck and growled. “I’m going to fuck you, Branna.”
My body practically sang with delight, but my heart frowned because it knew there would be no intimacy. This was purely primal. I momentarily thought about rejecting Ryder’s advances, but I was only a woman, and I missed him so much that I wanted to grasp at any chance to be close to him, especially since I knew it would probably be the last time I would be close to him for a long while.
I licked my lips. “So fuck me then.”
“Be careful,” he warned through clenched teeth. “I haven’t had you in a long time, if you give me the green light, I won’t stop until we’re both satisfied. That means you’ll be very sore for the rest of the day, you understand?”
My lips quirked. “Promises, promises.”
Ryder’s grip on me tightened. “You doubt me, darling?”
I shrugged out of his hold.
“I thought I told you never to doubt me.”
I frowned. “That was a long time ago.”
“It had no time limit when I said it, it still doesn’t.”
I sighed. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” Ryder almost growled.
I blinked. “You.”
“Are you sure you know it’s me because when I say I’m going to fuck you into soreness, I mean it. You’re acting like it’s someone else who is promising this to you. You know I follow through with what’s mine.”