“Was angry, meaning you aren’t anymore?”
I shook my head. “I’m more confused than anything. One minute I’m furious with you for lettin’ everythin’ run on so long without talkin’ to me, then the next I’m so understandin’ of the situation you were in and I get why you bottled it up and kept it a secret from me. My indecisiveness is drivin’ me insane.”
“But you’re here… why?” he quizzed. “I mean I’m so glad you’re here, but… why?”
I licked my lips. “Alec talked with me, and he was right, I have to believe in you, in us.”
“And do you?” he asked, his voice now raspy. “Do you believe in us? In me?”
“Yeah, I do,” I said with a firm nod. “I just won’t be able to pick up where we left off. I think we should just ease back into everythin’. In time my worries, my fear, and my doubts will fade away if we do this at a slow pace.”
“Yes,” Ryder rasped. “Anything to have you as mine again.”
“I’ll always be yours.”
“And I’ll always be yours, sweetness.”
Sweetness.
Hearing the term of endearment I loved so much caught my breath, and caused my heart to skip a beat.
“You’re you again,” I whispered. “I thought this Ryder would never come back to me.”
“I never left, babe,” he breathed, his skin flushed. “I thought I was protecting you by blocking you out, but now I see the damage I’ve caused. I’ve broken your heart, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I am so sorry, sweetheart. So fucking sorry.”
“You can mend it,” I said, my voice tight with emotion. “You can make me heart forget about everythin’ and just revolve around you once more. I know you can.”
Ryder leaned down to kiss me, but I was hesitant.
“What if kissin’ leads to somethin’ more?” I questioned. “Is it too soon for it?”
“For someone who wants to be swept away, you sure ask for a lot of directions.”
I frowned. “I’m sorry, I’m tryin’.”
Ryder gave me a small smile. “I know, darling. Just let it happen, you don’t need to have control of this. Just feel.”
Just feel.
“I’m… I’m scared.” I whispered. “What if it’s not the same as before?”
Ryder stepped closer to me and whispered, “What if it’s better?”
My heart fluttered. “What if it’s too much?”
“Too much?” Ryder repeated. “Branna, it’s never enough. I can never get enough of you. Do you understand that? I’m addicted to you.”
I sucked in a deep breath, and locked my knees together when my legs began to tremble.
“Everything about you is alluring to me.” Ryder continued. “Your face, your body, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your hair, your scent, your personality. Fucking hell, sweetness, you’re it for me. You have been since I laid my eyes on you five years ago.”
My chest was rising and falling rapidly as my heart slammed into my ribcage.
Ryder stroked his thumbs over my cheeks, and with his alluring eyes he looked right through me and found my soul. “I. Love. You. Branna.”
I forced down the lump of emotion that sat in my throat and whispered, “I love you, too, Ryder. So much it hurts.”
He wasted no time in claiming my mouth with his, kissing me with a hunger I hadn’t known from him in a long time, and unlike before, I didn’t stop him. I kissed him back, and when he pulled away, I was delighted to find I didn’t want him to.
“You’re the light of my life,” Ryder said, breathing heavily against my lips. “Without you everything was dark, and unappealing. I didn’t want to live without you.”
His honesty made me cry.
“Look at me,” he demanded.
I opened my eyes and stared into his.
“I. Love. You.” He said clearly. “I never want to be without you. Never.”
I clung to him
“Marry me,” Ryder said with his next breath. “I know we’re going to take this slow, but say you will marry me. I will still move at a speed you are comfortable with, but I need you to agree to marry me.”
I sniffled.
“We’re already engaged,” I said, confused.
“We were on the verge of ending things for good, I need to hear you say you still want to be with me for the rest of our lives. Please, darling, I need to hear you say it. I need to.”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “Yes, I still want to marry you. I want nothin’ more. We’re in this for the long haul.”
Ryder lifted his hand and lifted his pinkie finger to me.
“Forever?” he said.
I hooked my finger tightly around his, and with my heart pumping with nothing but pure love I said, “Forever.”
Three months later…
“Why are your eyebrows so nicely shaped?” Keela asked Dominic as we sat in the sitting room of her and Alec’s house. All of us were together so when the lads laughed, Dominic’s face turned red with embarrassment.
He avoided looking at his brothers as he said, “Bronagh cried because I wouldn’t let her pluck them, and the only way to make her stop crying was to let her do them so I sucked it up. She’s extremely pregnant and is touchy about everything so I let her do what she wants without argument if it means no tears.”
Smart lad.
Bronagh, Alannah and Aideen were in the kitchen making food so they were out of earshot for this very interesting turn in our conversation.
“Hold the fucking phone,” Alec laughed as he got up and walked over to Dominic and bent forward. He grabbed hold of his brother’s head, and forced him to look at him. “Aw, how cute! You’re a pretty little princess!”
Dominic shoved Alec’s teasing self away and glared at Damien and Kane who were covering their mouths trying, and failing, to muffle their chuckles.
“I think you look great,” I offered. “It’s nice to see a man that grooms his eyebrows. They’re such an important facial feature.”
Alec, Damien and Kane looked at me like a vagina suddenly grew on the middle of my forehead.
Dominic blinked. “They are?”
“Of course,” Keela answered for me. “Yours aren’t perfectly shaped, but they’re very nicely done, I’d say you’re just even more attractive now. I never noticed that they were a little bushy before, but Bee did good. You look sexy.”
Dominic smugly grinned at his brothers who were now eyeing him, and his eyebrows. Alec, on the other hand, was glaring at Keela who had done well to avoid catching his stare.
I snorted. “Leave her alone, it’s not like she’s lying, Dominic is sexy.”
Dominic’s grin deepened, and smugness radiated from him in waves as he clasped his hands together behind his head and he looked around the room. I laughed and shook my head at him.
I jumped when a finger sticking into my side startled me. I quickly looked at the poker and grinned, “I know, I know, I’m goin’ to pay for talkin’ up your little brother, and let me just say that I can’t wait.”
My Ryder’s lip curved upward. “You’re a hellcat.”
“I know,” I teased.
It had been three months since I made up with Ryder, and four months and one week since all hell broke loose. We were still taking things slow, and by that I mean really slow. We hadn’t done much more than kiss one another, and it was the best decision we had ever made.
The first night we met, sex between us was almost instant. There was thick sexual tension from the moment we locked eyes on one another, but this time, we were trying a different approach. One where we listened to our minds, and hearts, instead of our libidos.